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  1. #1
    Star Man's Avatar
    Star Man is offline Guns only have two enemies; rust and politicians
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    My new car......

    My New Car:

    I bought a new Lexus 350 a week ago and returned to the dealer the next day because I couldn't get the radio to work. The salesman explained that the radio was voice activated.

    "Nelson," the salesman said to the radio. The Radio replied, "Ricky or Willie?" "Willie!" he continued and "On The Road Again" came from the speakers.

    Then he said, "Ray Charles!", and in an instant "Georgia On My Mind" replaced Willie Nelson. I drove away happy, and for the next few days, every time I'd say, "Beethoven," I'd get beautiful classical music, and if I said, "Beatles," I'd get one of their awesome songs.

    Yesterday, a couple ran a red light and nearly creamed my new car, but I swerved in time to avoid them. I yelled "Ass Holes!"

    Immediately the French National Anthem began to play, sung by Jane Fonda and Barbara Streisand, backed up by Michael Moore and The Dixie Chicks, with John Kerry on guitar, Al Gore on drums, Dan Rather on harmonica,
    Nancy Pelosi on tambourine, Harry Reid on spoons, Bill Clinton on sax and Ted Kennedy on scotch.

    Damn, I LOVE this car!


    PS-
    NO OFFENSE MEANT CHOUB, JUST A JOKE I'M FORWARDING........
    ...........................................

  2. #2
    gozling's Avatar
    gozling is offline the gene pool could use a little chlorine
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    LMAO...

    thats funny
    when the french stop being a-holes I will apologize for saying this...
    lol
    omg i had two friday FLY by a school bus stopped.. i was PEEE OOOOOD.....
    http://www.allpoetry.com/Grunts%20Girl

    We dallied under
    Vine maples and sapling alders
    Searched for lady slippers
    But instead
    Found blackberry riots and
    Desiccated branches

    An old skid road
    Brought ghost ferns and
    Hollows filled with
    Skunk cabbage
    While waves wrapped
    Intricate lacings of weeds
    'Round mule spinners

    His cyanotic eyes
    Were hard enough to make
    The sun turn tail and
    Tender enough to attract me
    To his world of illusion

  3. #3
    Jackalope's Avatar
    Jackalope is offline Yell O
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    Damn, I just repped you for a different post, but this one deserves it too!
    "I'm not a coward,
    I've just never been tested
    I'd like to think that if I was,
    I would pass"
    ~Mighty Mighty Bosstones~

  4. #4
    Star Man's Avatar
    Star Man is offline Guns only have two enemies; rust and politicians
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jackalope View Post


    Damn, I just repped you for a different post, but this one deserves it too!
    Thank you for saying so
    ...........................................

  5. #5
    KaiGywer's Avatar
    KaiGywer is offline *insert witty remark here*
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    Did you ever yell "fucking kids" and Michael Jackson came on?
    Alpha Phi Sigma Alum - Alpha Delta Chapter
    ΑΦΣ

  6. #6
    Pedro56's Avatar
    Pedro56 is offline Englewood Ranger/Infidel Extraordinaire
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    Thats a good one.
    http://www.lawenforcementforums.com/forums/signaturepics/sigpic763_2.gif

    "I am the guy that keeps Mister Dead in his pocket." -'Mad' Max Rockatansky

    "An Englewood Ranger is no stranger to Danger.." -Unk

    Good Night Chesty Where Ever You Are.

    A Good Friend will bail you out of jail, but a true friend will be sitting next to you in the cell saying, "That was Awesome."

    God Made Police Men so Fireman Would Have Heroes.

 

 

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