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Thread: Medical Breakthrough for Women
03-19-07, 08:37 PM #1
Medical Breakthrough for Women
*NEW DRUGS FOR WOMEN *
* D A M N I T O L
*Take 2 and the rest of the world can go to hell for up to 8 full
* E M P T Y N E S T R O G E N
*Suppository that eliminates melancholy and loneliness by reminding you of how awful they were as teenagers and how you couldn't wait till they moved out.
* ST. M O M M A'S W O R T
*Plant extract that treats mom's depression by rendering preschoolers unconscious for up to two days.
*P E P T O B I M B O
*Liquid silicone drink for single women. Two full cups swallowed
before an evening out increases breast size, decreases intelligence, and prevents conception.
* D U M B E R O L
*When taken with Peptobimbo, can cause dangerously low IQ, resulting in enjoyment of country music and pickup trucks.
* F L I P I T O R
*Increases life expectancy of commuters by controlling road rage and the urge to flip off other drivers.
* M E N I C I L L I N
*Potent anti-boy-otic for older women. Increases resistance to such lethal lines as, "You make me want to be a better person. "
*Injectable stimulant taken prior to shopping Increases potency,
duration, and credit limit of spending spree.
* J A C K A S S P I R I N
*Relieves headache caused by a man who can't remember your birthday, anniversary, phone number, or to lift the toilet seat.
* A N T I-T A L K S I D E N T
*A spray carried in a purse or wallet to be used on anyone too eager to share their life stories with total strangers in elevators.
* N A G A M E N T
*When administered to a boyfriend or husband, provides the same
irritation level as nagging him.Molly Weasley makes Chuck Norris eat his vegetables.
Do not puff, shade, skew, tailor, firm up, stretch, massage,
or otherwise distort statements of fact.FBI Special Agent Coleen Rowley
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