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  1. #1
    Hannibal's Avatar
    Hannibal is offline Zombie Killin' Sheepdog
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    A couple jokes to help get through the day.

    A Somali arrives in Minneapolis as a new immigrant to the United States.
    He stops the first person he sees walking down the street and says, "Thank you Mr. American for letting me in this country, giving me housing, food stamps, free medical care, and free education!" The passerby says, "You are mistaken, I am Mexican."
    The man goes on and encounters another passerby. "Thank you for having such a beautiful country here in America!" The person says, "I not American, I Vietnamese."

    The new arrival walks further, and the next person he sees he stops, shakes his hand and says, "Thank you for the wonderful America!"

    That person puts up his hand and says, "I am from Middle East, I am not American!" He finally sees a nice lady and asks, "Are you an American?"
    She says, "No, I am from Africa!" Puzzled, he asks her, "Where are all the Americans?" The African lady checks her watch and says..."Probably at work."

    "Stupid should hurt."

  2. #2
    Hannibal's Avatar
    Hannibal is offline Zombie Killin' Sheepdog
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    number 2

    HER DIARY:

    Tonight, I thought my husband was acting weird. We had made plans to meet at a bar to have a drink. I was shopping with my friends all day long, so I thought he was upset at the fact that I was a bit late, but he made no comment on it. Conversation wasn't flowing, so I suggested that we go somewhere quiet so we could talk. He agreed, but he didn't say much. I asked him what was wrong; he said, "Nothing." I asked him if it was my fault that he was upset. He said he wasn't upset, that it had nothing to do with me, and not to worry about it. On the way home, I told him that I loved him. He smiled slightly, and kept driving. I can't explain his behavior. I don't know why he didn't say, "I love you, too." When we got home, I felt as if I had lost him completely, as if he wanted nothing to do with me anymore. He just sat there quietly, and watched TV. He continued to seem distant and absent. Finally, with silence all around us, I decided to go to bed. About 15 minutes later, he came to bed. To my surprise, he respondedto my caress, and we made love. But I still felt that he was distracted, and his thoughts were somewhere else. He fell asleep - I cried I don't know what to do. I'm almost sure that his thoughts are with someone else. My life is a disaster.

    HIS DIARY:
    Missed a big deer today, but at least I got laid.

    "Stupid should hurt."

 

 

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