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  1. #1
    RPDP44's Avatar
    RPDP44 is offline uh huh..suuure
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    Red face Mississippi Grandma

    Mississippi Grandma

    Lawyers should never ask a Mississippi grandma a question if they aren't prepared for the answer.

    In a trial, a Southern small-town prosecuting attorney called his first witness,
    a grandmotherly, elderly woman to the stand.
    He approached her and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know me?"

    She responded, "Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams.
    I've known you since you were a young boy,
    and frankly, you've been a big disappointment to me.
    You lie, you cheat on your wife, and you manipulate
    people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you're a big shot when you haven't the brains to realize you never will amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher.
    Yes, I know you."

    The lawyer was stunned! Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney?"
    She again replied, "Why, yes, I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster. He's lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking problem. He can't build a normal relationship with anyone and his law practice is one of the worst in the entire state.
    Not to mention he cheated on his wife with three different women. One of them was your wife.
    Yes, I know him."

    The defense attorney almost died.

    The judge asked both counselors to approach the bench and, in a very quiet voice, said, "If either of you
    idiots asks her if she knows me,

    I'll send you to the electric chair!"
    Light moves faster than sound. That's why some people look intelligent..until they speak.

  2. #2
    BigDawg's Avatar
    BigDawg is offline K-9 Officer
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    HA HA HA.....now that was good!!!!!
    "An Unarmed man can only flee from evil, and evil is not overcome by fleeing from it." Jeff Cooper


    Some people are meant to be the police......Some people are meant to call the police!!!

    "Socialism only works in two places: Heaven where they don't need it and hell where they already have it."
    -Ronald Reagan


    " I believe that forgiving them (Terrorist) is God's function. OUR job is to arrange the meeting."
    General Norman Schwartzkopf

    Not all Muslims are Terrorists, but all Terrorists are Muslim.
    (author unknown)


    The statements posted by BigDawg DO NOT reflect the opinions, views, policies, or procedures of the author's employing agency. These statements are the personal opinions of BigDawg only, thereby releasing my agency of any liability, or involvement in anything posted under the user name of BigDawg. The opinions expressed by BigDawg are protected by the 1st Amendment of the U.S. Constitution. BigDawg’s messages are intended to invoke thought and discussion among the "Officer Resources" forum community and may not necessarily reflect the opinion of the author. BigDawg’s posts and any attachments are intended for an adult audience (18+) and may contain strong language, sexual content, nudity, violence, and may be graphic in nature. Some material may be considered offensive; reader discretion is advised. Please note that many of BigDawg’s posts are intended for entertainment value only. BigDawg’s posts are not intended to be used where prohibited by law. Furthermore, BigDawg's posts, and any attachments, may contain information covered by the Electronic Communications Privacy Act, 18 U.S.C. 2510-2521, and is confidential and proprietary in nature. If you are not the intended recipient, please be advised that you are legally prohibited from retaining, using, copying, distributing, or otherwise disclosing this information in any manner.

 

 

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