What's the difference between a bitch and a whore?
A whore sleeps with everyone at the party and a bitch sleeps with everyone except you.

How are twisters (tornadoes) and marriage alike?
They both begin with a lot of blowing and sucking, and in the end you lose your house


Why is a woman like a Kentucky fried chicken meal?
By the time you've finished with the breasts and thighs, all you have left is a greasy box to put your bone in.


Two men were changing in the locker room after a game of tennis. One notices the other one is putting on pair of stockings and suspenders. He says "When did you start wearing them?" To which the other man replies "Since my wife found a pair on the back seat of the car."


The company sergent is briefing the recruits: "For the next ten weeks the commanding officer will be your father, and I will be your mother. Incidentally we are not married, so you know what that makes you..."