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Thread: Traffic Ticket

  1. #1
    Cross240 is offline Temporarily Civilianized
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    Traffic Ticket

    A motor officer stops a man for running a red light. The guy is a real jerk and comes running back to the motor officer The violator demands to know why he is being harassed by the Gestapo! So the officer calmly tells him of the red light violation. The "Motorist" instantly goes on a tirade, questioning the officer's ancestry, sexual orientation, etc., in rather explicit terms and swearing he will "eat him alive" when he takes the ticket to court.

    The tirade goes on without the cop saying anything. When he gets done with writing the citation he puts an "AH" in the lower right corner of the narrative portion of the citation. He then hands it to the "Violator" for his signature. The guy signs the cite angrily, tearing the paper, and when presented his copy points to the "AH" and demands to know what it stands for The officer says, "That's so when we go to court, I'll remember you're an asshole, sir."

    Three months later they are in court. The "Violator" has such a bad record he is about to lose his license and has hired an attorney to represent him. On the stand the officer testifies to seeing the man run the red light. Under cross examination the defense attorney asks:

    "Officer is this a reasonable facsimile of the citation you issued my client?"

    Officer responds, "Yes sir, this is the defendant's copy, his signature and mine, same number at the top."

    Attorney: "Officer, is there any particular marking or notation on this citation you don't normally make?"

    Officer: "Yes sir, in the lower right corner of the narrative there is an 'AH', underlined."

    Attorney: "What does the 'AH' stand for, Officer?"

    Officer: "It stands for 'Aggressive and Hostile,' sir."

    Attorney: "'Aggressive and hostile'?"

    Officer: "Yes, sir."

    Attorney: "Officer, are you sure it doesn't stand for 'Asshole'?"

    Officer: "Well Counselor, you know your client better than I do....."
    There is no hunting like the hunting of man, and those who have hunted armed men long enough and liked it, never care for anything else thereafter. -- Ernest Hemingway

  2. #2
    BEB
    BEB is offline Banned
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    I like it.

  3. #3
    conalabu is offline Grasshopper
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    I'll use that one.
    And Shepards we shall be,
    for thee, My Lord, for thee,
    Power hath descended forth from Thy hand,
    That our feet may swiftly carry out Thy Command.
    So we shall flow a river forth to Thee
    And teeming with souls will it ever be.
    In Nomine Patris, Et Filli, Et Spiritus Sancti.

  4. #4
    TwanimusPrime's Avatar
    TwanimusPrime is offline Moving on up...to the east side!
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    NICE, just gotta make sure the mic isn't on when ya say it :P hehe

  5. #5
    lewisipso's Avatar
    lewisipso is offline Injustice/Indifference/In God we trust
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    Ok I'm using that one!
    Do not war for peace. If you must war, war for justice. For without justice there is no peace. -me

    We are who we choose to be.

    R.I.P. Arielle. 08/20/2010-09/16/2012


  6. #6
    Jackalope's Avatar
    Jackalope is offline Yell O
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    That's awesome!
    "I'm not a coward,
    I've just never been tested
    I'd like to think that if I was,
    I would pass"
    ~Mighty Mighty Bosstones~

  7. #7
    CelticCop's Avatar
    CelticCop is offline The Dark Lord
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    I've used something similar and heard of it used by officers here.
    "Where's your towel Arthur?" -Ford Prefect

    "You! On your knees!" -Green Jello

    Some take delight in the carriages a rollin'
    and some take delight in the hurley and the bowlin',
    I take delight in the juice of the barley,
    and courtin' pretty fair maids in the morning bright and early...


    "You are, without a doubt, the worst pirate I've ever heard of..." Cmdre. Norrington "Ah, but you have heard of me." Capt. Jack Sparrow

    Warning my statements do not reflect the policies, procedures or views of my agency. As a matter of fact, they think I'm just as nuts as you do, so shove it and blow it out of your fart tube.

 

 

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