7 reasons not to mess with a child

1. A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales.
The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a
human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was
very
small.
The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale.
Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a
human; it was physically impossible.
The little girl said, "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah". The
teacher asked, " What if Jonah went to hell?" The little girl
replied, "Then you ask him".

2. A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children
while
they were drawing She would occasionally walk around to see each
child's
work. As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she
asked what
the drawing was. The girl replied, "I'm drawing God." The teacher
paused and said, "But no one knows what God looks like."Without
missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing, the girl
replied, "They will in a minute."

3. A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with
her five and six year olds. After explaining the commandment
to "honor" thy Father and thy Mother, she asked, "Is there a
commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?"
Without missing a beat one little boy (the oldest of a family)
answered, "Thou shall not kill."

4. One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the
dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother had
several
strands of white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head.
She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, "Why are some of
your
hairs white, Mom?" Her mother replied, "Well, every time that you do
something wrong and make m! e cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns
white."The little
girl thought about this revelation for a while and then said, "Momma,
how come ALL of grandma's hairs are white?"

5. The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was
trying to
persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture. "Just think
how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and
say, 'There's Jennifer, she's a lawyer,' or 'That's Michael, He's a
doctor.'A small voice at the back of the room rang out, "And there's
the teacher, She's dead. "

6. A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood.
Trying to
make the matter clearer, she said, "Now, class, if I stood on my head,
the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I would turn red in the
face.." "Yes," the class said. "Then why is it that while I am
standing upright in the ordinary position the blood doesn't run into
my feet?" A little fellow shouted,
"Cause your feet ain't empty."

7. The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic
elementary
school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of
apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray: "Take only
ONE. God is watching." Moving further along the lunch line, at the
other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies. A
child had written a note, "Take all you want. God is watching the
apples.