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  1. #1
    dapples's Avatar
    dapples is offline Swamp Kitty
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    Puns some new I hope you enjoy

    Punny Truisms


    I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger, then...........it hit me.
    -
    Police were called to a daycare where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.
    -
    Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He's all
    right now.
    -
    The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference.
    -
    To write with a broken pencil is pointless.
    -
    When fish are in schools, they sometimes take debate.
    -
    The short fortune teller who escaped from prison, was a small medium at large.
    -
    A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.
    -
    A thief fell and broke his leg in wet cement. He became a hardened criminal.
    -
    Thieves who steal corn from a garden could be charged with stalking.
    -
    We'll never run out of math teachers because they always multiply.
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    When the smog lifts in Los Angeles, UCLA.
    -
    The math professor went crazy with the blackboard. He did a number on it.
    -
    The professor discovered that her theory of earthquakes was on shaky ground.
    -
    The dead batteries were given out free of charge.
    -
    If you take a laptop computer for a run, you could jog your memory.
    -
    A dentist and a manicurist fought tooth and nail. - What's the definition of a will? (It's a dead giveaway.)
    -
    A bicycle can't stand alone; it is two-tired.
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    Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana. - A backward poet writes inverse.
    -
    In a democracy, it's your vote that counts; in feudalism, it's your Count that votes.
    -
    A chicken crossing the road: poultry in motion.
    -
    If you don't pay your exorcist, you can get repossessed.
    -
    With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.
    -
    Show me a piano falling down a mine shaft and I'll show you A-flat miner.
    -
    When a clock is hungry, it goes back four seconds.
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    The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine was fully recovered.
    -
    A grenade fell onto a kitchen floor in France, resulting in Linoleum
    Blownapart.
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    You are stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.
    -
    He broke into song because he couldn't find the key.
    -
    A calendar's days are numbered.
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    A lot of money is tainted: 'taint yours and 'taint mine.
    -
    A boiled egg is hard to beat.
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    He had a photographic memory that was never developed.
    -
    A plateau is a high form of flattery.
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    Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.
    -
    When you've seen one shopping center, you've seen a mall.
    -
    When she saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought she'd dye.
    -
    Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead-to-know basis.
    -
    Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.
    -
    Acupuncture: a jab well done.

  2. #2
    foxxymomma50's Avatar
    foxxymomma50 is offline Master Officer
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    LOL slow night tonight? But I still like 'em! Thanks.
    "In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: it goes on."

    "Not a shred of evidence exists in favor of the idea that life is serious."


    "Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one's definition of your life; define yourself."

  3. #3
    dapples's Avatar
    dapples is offline Swamp Kitty
    Supporting Member Lvl 3
    Join Date
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    Just a lil touch of boredom...lol

 

 

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