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Thread: Dementia

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    dapples's Avatar
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    Dementia

    Your Yearly Dementia Test

    It's that time of year to take our annual senior citizen test. Exercise of the brain is as important as exercise of the muscles. As we grow older, it's important to keep mentally alert. If you don't use it, you lose it! Below is a very private way to gauge your loss or non-loss of intelligence.

    Take the test presented here to determine if you're losing it or not.

    The spaces below are so you don't see the answers until you've made your answer.

    OK, relax, clear your mind and begin.









    1. What do you put in a toaster?













    Answer: "bread." If you said "toast," give up now and do something else.

    Try not to hurt yourself. If you said, bread, go to Question 2.





    2. Say "silk" five times. Now spell "silk." What do cows drink?













    Answer: Cows drink water.

    If you said "milk," don't attempt the next question.

    Your brain is over-stressed and may even overheat.

    Content yourself with reading a more appropriate literature such as Auto

    World.

    However, if you said "water", proceed to question 3.












    3. If a red house is made from red bricks and a blue house is made from

    blue bricks and a pink house is made from pink bricks and a black house is

    made from black bricks, what is a green house made from?












    Answer: Greenhouses are made from glass. If you said "green bricks," why

    are you still reading these???

    If you said "glass," go on to Question 4.











    4. It's twenty years ago, and a plane is flying at 20,000 feet over Germany

    (If you will recall, Germany at the time was politically divided into West

    Germany and East Germany )

    Anyway, during the flight, two engines fail. The pilot, realizing that the last remaining engine is also failing, decides on a crash landing procedure.

    Unfortunately the engine fails before he can do so and the plane fatally crashes smack in the middle of "no man's land" between East Germany and West Germany .

    Where would you bury the survivors?

    East Germany , West Germany , or no man's land"?












    Answer: You don't bury survivors.




    If you said ANYTHING else, you're a dunce and you must stop.



    If you said, "You don't bury survivors", proceed to the next question.












    5. Without using a calculator - You are driving a bus from London to Milford Haven in Wales ..

    In London , 17 people get on the bus. In Reading , six people get off the bus and nine people get on. In Swindon , two people get off and four get on. In Cardiff , 11 people get off and 16 people get on. In Swansea , three people get off and five people get on In Carmathen, six people get off and three get on.

    You then arrive at Milford Haven.

    What was the name of the bus driver?











    Answer: Oh, for crying out loud!

    Don't you remember your own name? It was YOU!!








    PS: 95% of people fail most of the questions!!

    [I'm pleased to say I'm in the top 5%!]

  2. #2
    Piggybank Cop's Avatar
    Piggybank Cop is offline Nobody important.
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    From one old fart to you.







    I hate you.

    We are the thin blue line
    between you
    and all the money in the world.

    And no you can't have any.

  3. #3
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    I am 31 and I flunked that big time!
    The opinions given in my posts DO NOT reflect the opinions, views, policies, and/or procedures of my employing agency. They are my personal opinions only, thereby releasing my agency of any liability, or involvement in anything posted under the username "Beans" on LEF.

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    I got them all right. I always new I was special.
    To be born an Englishman, is to be a winner in the Lottery of Life.



    I've Talked the Talk and I've Walked the Walk, now I Sit the Sit!

    It's not until you look at an Ant through a magnifying glass on a sunny day, that you realise just how often they burst into flames for no reason!

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    Cidp24's Avatar
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    Got knocked out of the running by question number 2.
    *************************
    "It wouldn't take much for me to up and run...
    to another life somewhere in the sun."
    *************************
    "There's something inherently wrong with having to put on a bullet-proof vest and a gun to go to work."-(An old friend)


    Any statements or opinions given in my postings or profile do not reflect the opinions, views, policies, and/or procedures of my employer or anyone else other than me. They are my personal opinions or statements only, thereby releasing my employer , any other entity, or any other person of any liability or involvement in anything posted under the username "Cidp24" on O/R.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Cidp24 View Post
    Got knocked out of the running by question number 2.
    Me too, you would think that with her in the next room she would have at least WARNED me
    ]

  7. #7
    Cidp24's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by mavriktu View Post
    Me too, you would think that with her in the next room she would have at least WARNED me
    *************************
    "It wouldn't take much for me to up and run...
    to another life somewhere in the sun."
    *************************
    "There's something inherently wrong with having to put on a bullet-proof vest and a gun to go to work."-(An old friend)


    Any statements or opinions given in my postings or profile do not reflect the opinions, views, policies, and/or procedures of my employer or anyone else other than me. They are my personal opinions or statements only, thereby releasing my employer , any other entity, or any other person of any liability or involvement in anything posted under the username "Cidp24" on O/R.

  8. #8
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    Would have been closer to a game of 'memory' for me, as I've seen those before. My memory works. I passed.
    \\
    ` ` ` ` < ` )___/\
    `` ` ` ` (3--(____)
    "...but to forget your duck, of course, means you're really screwed." - Gary Larson
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MtN1YnoL46Q


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    Quote Originally Posted by Piggybank Cop View Post
    From one old fart to you.







    I hate you.


    I feel your pain. .............

    from one married to an old fart

  10. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ducky View Post
    Would have been closer to a game of 'memory' for me, as I've seen those before. My memory works. I passed.
    Ditto.




  11. #11
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    Quote Originally Posted by dapples View Post
    I feel your pain. .............

    from one married to an old fart
    I resemble that remark,you old ---wow looka the time ,gotta go
    ]

  12. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by Beans View Post
    I am 31 and I flunked that big time!
    I'm 45... what's your excuse?

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    Quote Originally Posted by mavriktu View Post
    I resemble that remark,you old ---wow looka the time ,gotta go




  14. #14
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    Quote Originally Posted by Crimebytes2 View Post
    I'm 45... what's your excuse?

    +++1000000000000 lol go gurl

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    conalabu is offline Grasshopper
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    Quote Originally Posted by Trojan 42 View Post
    I got them all right. I always new I was special.
    Special as in does not know "new" from "knew"? Easy does it, old timer. The answers were there for everyone, they did not just magically appear for you.

    I have seen this before, so I, of course, breezed through.



    (thread moved to fun and games. If some people do not realize this is supposed to "fun", there will be a lot more cursing.)
    And Shepards we shall be,
    for thee, My Lord, for thee,
    Power hath descended forth from Thy hand,
    That our feet may swiftly carry out Thy Command.
    So we shall flow a river forth to Thee
    And teeming with souls will it ever be.
    In Nomine Patris, Et Filli, Et Spiritus Sancti.

  16. #16
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    OOps sorry....

  17. #17
    dapples's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ducky View Post
    Would have been closer to a game of 'memory' for me, as I've seen those before. My memory works. I passed.

    that's the beauty of "old timers" or is it just "sometimers"?...everything is always "new"...hehehe

  18. #18
    BEB
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    There is a mute who wants to buy a toothbrush. By imitating the action of brushing one's teeth, he successfully expresses himself to the shopkeeper and the purchase is done.

    Now if there is a blind man who wishes to buy a hammer, how should he express himself?

    (Click and drag your mouse from star to star)

    * He opens his mouth and says. "I would like to buy a hammer." *

  19. #19
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    Quote Originally Posted by BugEyedBeast View Post
    There is a mute who wants to buy a toothbrush. By imitating the action of brushing one's teeth, he successfully expresses himself to the shopkeeper and the purchase is done.

    Now if there is a blind man who wishes to buy a hammer, how should he express himself?

    (Click and drag your mouse from star to star)

    * He opens his mouth and says. "I would like to buy a hammer." *
    OK, I give up.
    *************************
    "It wouldn't take much for me to up and run...
    to another life somewhere in the sun."
    *************************
    "There's something inherently wrong with having to put on a bullet-proof vest and a gun to go to work."-(An old friend)


    Any statements or opinions given in my postings or profile do not reflect the opinions, views, policies, and/or procedures of my employer or anyone else other than me. They are my personal opinions or statements only, thereby releasing my employer , any other entity, or any other person of any liability or involvement in anything posted under the username "Cidp24" on O/R.

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    I came on this link........ and now I've forgotten why......
    the sole advantage of power is that you can do more good.
    ( Baltasar Gracian )

 

 
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