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Thread: The Dispatcher is God.
05-01-07, 01:44 PM #1
The Dispatcher is God.
Many of you have more than likely heard this one, but i put it up for those who havent. haha
DISPATCHER IS GOD.
THE CHIEF OF POLICE LEAPS TALL BUILDINGS IN A SINGLE BOUND, IS MORE POWERFUL THAN A LOCOMOTIVE, IS FASTER THAN A SPEEDING BULLET, WALKS ON WATER, AND GIVES POLICY TO GOD.
THE ASSISTANT CHIEF LEAPS SHORT BUILDINGS IN A SINGLE BOUND, IS MORE POWERFUL THAN A SWITCH ENGINE, AND IS JUST AS FAST AS A SPEEDING BULLET, WALKS ON WATER IF IT IS CALM, AND TALKS TO GOD.
THE CAPTAIN LEAPS SHORT BUILDINGS WITH A RUNNING START, AND FAVORABLE WIND CONDITIONS. HE IS ALMOST AS POWERFUL AS A SWITCH ENGINE AND A LITTLE SLOWER THAN A SPEEDING BULLET, WALKS ON WATER OF AN INDOOR POOL, AND TALKS TO GOD IF SPECIAL REQUEST IS APPROVED.
THE LIEUTENANT BARELY CLEARS QUONSET HUTS, LOSES TUGS OF WAR WITH LOCOMOTIVE, CAN FIRE A SPEEDING BULLET, SWIMS WELL, AND IS OCCASIONALLY ADDRESSED BY GOD.
THE SERGEANT MAKES HIGH MARKS WHEN TRYING TO LEAP BUILDINGS, IS RUN OVER BY LOCOMOTIVES, AND SOMETIMES HANDLES A GUN WITHOUT INFLICTING SELF INJURY, CAN DOG PADDLE, AND TALKS T0 HIMSELF.
A DETECTIVE RUNS INTO BUILDINGS, RECOGNIZES LOCOMOTIVES TWO OUT OF THREE TIMES, IS ISSUED AMMUNITION, CAN STAY AT AFLOAT IF PROPERLY INSTRUCTED AND TALKS TO WATER.
THE PATROLMAN FALLS OVER DOOR SILLS WHEN TRYING TO ENTER BUILDINGS, SAYS: "LOOK AT THE CHOO-CHOO," WETS HIMSELF WITH A WATER PISTOL, AND MUMBLES TO HIMSELF.
THE DISPATCHER LIFTS BUILDINGS END WALKS UNDER THEM, KICKS LOCOMOTIVES OFF THE TRACKS, CATCHES SPEEDING BULLETS IN HER TEETH AND CHEWS THEM, AND FREEZES WATER WITH A SINGLE GLANCE. THE DISPATCHER IS GOD!
05-01-07, 06:15 PM #2
If my dispatcher is God, she has already condemned me to hell, and just stands by on the radio to rub it in...
"The American Republic will endure until the day Congress discovers that it can bribe the public with the public's money."
- Alexis de Tocqueville, Democracy in America
Tell me not, Sweet, I am unkind,
That from the nunnery
Of thy chaste breast and quiet mind
To war and arms I fly. - Lovelace
The opinions expressed by this poster are wholly his own, and should never be construed to even remotely be in representation of his employer, its agencies or assigns. In fact, they probably fail to be in alignment with the opinions of any rational human being.
05-01-07, 08:38 PM #3
Eh. Looks like it was written by a disgruntled dispatcher who doesn't know how to use the Caps Lock key."If everyone is thinking alike, then someone isn't thinking." -Gen. George S. Patton
05-01-07, 08:44 PM #4
05-01-07, 11:41 PM #5
I will say this,
You dispatchers DO NOT get the recognition that you all deserve.
Honestly, i really dont think i could do your job. i want to be in the middle of the action, not the one on the phone that can hear everything, but cant see it. I dont know about anywhere else, but our 911 dispatchers have there hands full.
You have supercops that give them attitudes because of something very stupid, but they dont think about this.The dispatch is the one obtaining all of the information for them, plus manning 2 maybe 3 other radios from other departments, all at the same time, not to mention receiving the calls that dont stop coming in.
Just because your not my dispatch, my lifeline, i can still stand here and say this with pride.
you dispatchers are AWESOME!!!!!!, and deserve alot more credit than what you get.
Last edited by k-9max; 05-01-07 at 11:48 PM.YEAH, IM THE BERRIES, AND CHERRIES IN YOUR REAR VIEW MIRROR.
Handle every stressful situation like a dog.
Eat it, Play with it, or piss on it, and walk away!
As smart as man is, we haven't been able to invent a machine that can smell drugs or tell us where a person has walked,” Dogs are sophisticated investigative tools!
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