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05-03-07, 12:17 AM #1
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party animal
I was kinda bored last night so against all reason I went to a party and had too much to drink. My friends pleaded with me to let them take me home.
I said NO -- I only live a mile away.
About five blocks from party, the police pulled me over. They checked my
license and asked me to get out of the car and walk the line. Just as I
started, the police radio blares out a notice of a robbery taking place in
a house around the block. The police told me, the party animal, to stay put,
they'll be right back and they run around the corner to the robbery.
I waited and waited and finally decided to drive home. When I got there, I told the wife I was going to bed, and to tell anyone who might come looking for me that I have the flu and have been in bed all day.
A few hours later the police knock on the door. The police ask if I.
was there and the wife says yes. The police ask to see me and the wife replies that I am in bed with the flu and have been so all day.
The police still have my driver's license. The police ask to see my car
and the wife asks why. The police insist on seeing my car, so the wife
takes the police to the garage.
The wife opens the garage door; and there, sitting in the garage, is the police car, with all its lights still flashingThere is no hunting like the hunting of man, and those who have hunted armed men long enough and liked it, never care for anything else thereafter.” -- Ernest Hemingway
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05-03-07, 12:20 AM #2
Grasshopper
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You about had me. I was already shaking my head with a rebuke on my lips.
And Shepards we shall be,
for thee, My Lord, for thee,
Power hath descended forth from Thy hand,
That our feet may swiftly carry out Thy Command.
So we shall flow a river forth to Thee
And teeming with souls will it ever be.
In Nomine Patris, Et Filli, Et Spiritus Sancti.
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05-03-07, 12:25 AM #3
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haha heard that one before! Still funny though
"In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: it goes on."
"Not a shred of evidence exists in favor of the idea that life is serious."
"Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one's definition of your life; define yourself."
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05-03-07, 04:07 PM #4
K-9 Officer
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So what happened next????? Dont leave me in suspense!!!!!!
"An Unarmed man can only flee from evil, and evil is not overcome by fleeing from it." Jeff Cooper
Some people are meant to be the police......Some people are meant to call the police!!!
"Socialism only works in two places: Heaven where they don't need it and hell where they already have it."
-Ronald Reagan
" I believe that forgiving them (Terrorist) is God's function. OUR job is to arrange the meeting."
General Norman Schwartzkopf
Not all Muslims are Terrorists, but all Terrorists are Muslim.
(author unknown)
The statements posted by BigDawg DO NOT reflect the opinions, views, policies, or procedures of the author's employing agency. These statements are the personal opinions of BigDawg only, thereby releasing my agency of any liability, or involvement in anything posted under the user name of BigDawg. The opinions expressed by BigDawg are protected by the 1st Amendment of the U.S. Constitution. BigDawg’s messages are intended to invoke thought and discussion among the "Officer Resources" forum community and may not necessarily reflect the opinion of the author. BigDawg’s posts and any attachments are intended for an adult audience (18+) and may contain strong language, sexual content, nudity, violence, and may be graphic in nature. Some material may be considered offensive; reader discretion is advised. Please note that many of BigDawg’s posts are intended for entertainment value only. BigDawg’s posts are not intended to be used where prohibited by law. Furthermore, BigDawg's posts, and any attachments, may contain information covered by the Electronic Communications Privacy Act, 18 U.S.C. 2510-2521, and is confidential and proprietary in nature. If you are not the intended recipient, please be advised that you are legally prohibited from retaining, using, copying, distributing, or otherwise disclosing this information in any manner.
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05-03-07, 05:06 PM #5
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They retrieve thier patrol car....the end.
There is no hunting like the hunting of man, and those who have hunted armed men long enough and liked it, never care for anything else thereafter.” -- Ernest Hemingway
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05-05-07, 04:45 PM #6
K9 Officer
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Nice
YEAH, IM THE BERRIES, AND CHERRIES IN YOUR REAR VIEW MIRROR.
Handle every stressful situation like a dog.
Eat it, Play with it, or piss on it, and walk away!
As smart as man is, we haven't been able to invent a machine that can smell drugs or tell us where a person has walked,” Dogs are sophisticated investigative tools!
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05-05-07, 04:47 PM #7
K-9 Officer
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What a boring ending, leave it like that and it will never become the movie of the week.
"An Unarmed man can only flee from evil, and evil is not overcome by fleeing from it." Jeff Cooper
Some people are meant to be the police......Some people are meant to call the police!!!
"Socialism only works in two places: Heaven where they don't need it and hell where they already have it."
-Ronald Reagan
" I believe that forgiving them (Terrorist) is God's function. OUR job is to arrange the meeting."
General Norman Schwartzkopf
Not all Muslims are Terrorists, but all Terrorists are Muslim.
(author unknown)
The statements posted by BigDawg DO NOT reflect the opinions, views, policies, or procedures of the author's employing agency. These statements are the personal opinions of BigDawg only, thereby releasing my agency of any liability, or involvement in anything posted under the user name of BigDawg. The opinions expressed by BigDawg are protected by the 1st Amendment of the U.S. Constitution. BigDawg’s messages are intended to invoke thought and discussion among the "Officer Resources" forum community and may not necessarily reflect the opinion of the author. BigDawg’s posts and any attachments are intended for an adult audience (18+) and may contain strong language, sexual content, nudity, violence, and may be graphic in nature. Some material may be considered offensive; reader discretion is advised. Please note that many of BigDawg’s posts are intended for entertainment value only. BigDawg’s posts are not intended to be used where prohibited by law. Furthermore, BigDawg's posts, and any attachments, may contain information covered by the Electronic Communications Privacy Act, 18 U.S.C. 2510-2521, and is confidential and proprietary in nature. If you are not the intended recipient, please be advised that you are legally prohibited from retaining, using, copying, distributing, or otherwise disclosing this information in any manner.
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05-05-07, 09:25 PM #8
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Very good one but it was much better in Good Will Hunting with Ben Affleck's Southie accent.
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