Welcome to the APBWeb.
Results 1 to 7 of 7

Thread: A Dogs Diary

  1. #1
    k-9max's Avatar
    k-9max is offline K9 Officer
    Verified LEO
    Join Date
    Gods Country
    Rep Power

    A Dogs Diary


    7 am - Oh boy! A walk! My favorite!

    8 am - Oh boy! Dog food! My favorite!

    9 am - Oh boy! The kids! My favorite!

    Noon - Oh boy! The yard! My favorite!

    2 pm - Oh boy! A car ride! My favorite!

    3 pm - Oh boy! The kids! My favorite!

    4 pm - Oh boy! Playing ball! My favorite!

    6 pm - Oh boy! Welcome home Mom! My favorite!

    7 pm - Oh boy! Welcome home Dad! My favorite!

    8 pm - Oh boy! Dog food! My favorite!

    9 pm - Oh boy! Tummy rubs on the couch! My favorite!

    11 pm - Oh boy! Sleeping in my people's bed! My favorite!


    Day 183 of my captivity.

    My captors continued to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.

    They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal.

    The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild
    satisfaction I get from clawing the furniture. Tomorrow I may eat
    another house plant.

    Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while
    they were walking almost succeeded. Maybe I should try this at the top
    of the stairs.

    In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once
    again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair. I must try this
    on their bed.

    Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body in an attempt to
    make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear into
    their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little
    kitty cat I was. This is not working according to plan.

    There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in
    solitary confinement throughout the event. However, I could hear the
    noise and smell the food. More important, I overheard that my
    confinement was due to my powers of inducing something called
    "allergies." Must learn what this is and how to use it to my advantage.

    I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches. The
    dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is
    obviously a half-wit.

    The bird, on the other hand, has got to be an informant. He speaks with
    them regularly, and I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his
    current placement in the metal room, his safety is assured. But I can

    It's only a matter of time.

    Handle every stressful situation like a dog.
    Eat it, Play with it, or piss on it, and walk away!

    As smart as man is, we haven't been able to invent a machine that can smell drugs or tell us where a person has walked,” Dogs are sophisticated investigative tools!

  2. #2
    conalabu is offline Grasshopper
    Verified LEO
    Join Date
    Rep Power
    Again, this is why cats are targets.
    And Shepards we shall be,
    for thee, My Lord, for thee,
    Power hath descended forth from Thy hand,
    That our feet may swiftly carry out Thy Command.
    So we shall flow a river forth to Thee
    And teeming with souls will it ever be.
    In Nomine Patris, Et Filli, Et Spiritus Sancti.

  3. #3
    BigDawg's Avatar
    BigDawg is offline K-9 Officer
    Verified LEO
    Site Moderator
    Join Date
    So. Florida
    Rep Power
    Very nice, shows who is happier with us humans and who needs to become target practice once again!!!
    "An Unarmed man can only flee from evil, and evil is not overcome by fleeing from it." Jeff Cooper

    Some people are meant to be the police......Some people are meant to call the police!!!

    "Socialism only works in two places: Heaven where they don't need it and hell where they already have it."
    -Ronald Reagan

    " I believe that forgiving them (Terrorist) is God's function. OUR job is to arrange the meeting."
    General Norman Schwartzkopf

    Not all Muslims are Terrorists, but all Terrorists are Muslim.
    (author unknown)

    The statements posted by BigDawg DO NOT reflect the opinions, views, policies, or procedures of the author's employing agency. These statements are the personal opinions of BigDawg only, thereby releasing my agency of any liability, or involvement in anything posted under the user name of BigDawg. The opinions expressed by BigDawg are protected by the 1st Amendment of the U.S. Constitution. BigDawg’s messages are intended to invoke thought and discussion among the "Officer Resources" forum community and may not necessarily reflect the opinion of the author. BigDawg’s posts and any attachments are intended for an adult audience (18+) and may contain strong language, sexual content, nudity, violence, and may be graphic in nature. Some material may be considered offensive; reader discretion is advised. Please note that many of BigDawg’s posts are intended for entertainment value only. BigDawg’s posts are not intended to be used where prohibited by law. Furthermore, BigDawg's posts, and any attachments, may contain information covered by the Electronic Communications Privacy Act, 18 U.S.C. 2510-2521, and is confidential and proprietary in nature. If you are not the intended recipient, please be advised that you are legally prohibited from retaining, using, copying, distributing, or otherwise disclosing this information in any manner.

  4. #4
    iso607's Avatar
    iso607 is offline Sergeant
    Verified LEO
    Join Date
    Rep Power

  5. #5
    countybear's Avatar
    countybear is offline BDRT - Baby Daddy Removal Team
    Verified LEO
    Super Moderator
    Join Date
    Rep Power
    It's only a matter of time.


    "The American Republic will endure until the day Congress discovers that it can bribe the public with the public's money."
    - Alexis de Tocqueville, Democracy in America

    Tell me not, Sweet, I am unkind,
    That from the nunnery
    Of thy chaste breast and quiet mind
    To war and arms I fly.
    - Lovelace

    The opinions expressed by this poster are wholly his own, and should never be construed to even remotely be in representation of his employer, its agencies or assigns. In fact, they probably fail to be in alignment with the opinions of any rational human being.

  6. #6
    Ducky's Avatar
    Ducky is offline Enforcer General
    Supporting Member Lvl 3
    Join Date
    Handbasket, enroute to somewhere hot.
    Rep Power
    The cat's part sounded like Stewie from Family Guy.
    ` ` ` ` < ` )___/\
    `` ` ` ` (3--(____)
    "...but to forget your duck, of course, means you're really screwed." - Gary Larson

  7. #7
    mavriktu's Avatar
    mavriktu is offline Patrol Sgt.
    Verified LEO
    Join Date
    Rep Power
    Quote Originally Posted by Ducky View Post
    The cat's part sounded like Stewie from Family Guy.
    No,it sounds like my step daughter baby cat



Thread Information

Users Browsing this Thread

There are currently 1 users browsing this thread. (0 members and 1 guests)

Similar Threads

  1. Police dogs get stab-proof armour
    By Standard Dave in forum In the News
    Replies: 4
    Last Post: 06-03-07, 07:08 PM
  2. Dogs Know When!
    By k-9max in forum Shenanigans
    Replies: 8
    Last Post: 05-02-07, 12:43 AM
  3. Drug probe leads to discovery of ailing dogs
    By Piggybank Cop in forum In the News
    Replies: 0
    Last Post: 04-27-07, 04:37 PM
  4. Why People Love Dogs
    By Piggybank Cop in forum General Topics
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: 02-12-07, 10:24 PM
  5. her diary vs his diary
    By bufford408 in forum Shenanigans
    Replies: 3
    Last Post: 01-01-07, 11:54 AM

Tags for this Thread


Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts