Not Politically Correct

**BrokenOne** · 01-20-06, 01:36 PM

Because I read the warning and so have you, if you are offended its your own damn fault.

Joke:
What is better than winning the Special Olympics?

Answer:
Not being retarded in the first place.

**213th** · 01-20-06, 02:00 PM

Can we devote this thread to non p/c or offending jokes?

**Terminator** · 01-20-06, 02:30 PM

Sure

**213th** · 01-20-06, 02:44 PM

Why doesn't Michael Jackson win any races???

He likes to come in a little behind.

**Terminator** · 01-20-06, 03:07 PM

Originally Posted by 213th

Why doesn't Michael Jackson win any races???

He likes to come in a little behind.

DAMN!!!

**BrokenOne** · 01-20-06, 03:23 PM

Originally Posted by 213th

Why doesn't Michael Jackson win any races???

He likes to come in a little behind.

HOLY CRAP I AM LAUGHING SO FRIGGIN HARD.

**Wise_undergrad_08** · 01-20-06, 04:35 PM

I have bad pictures in my head. Make them go away. *cries*

**jmur5074** · 01-20-06, 04:38 PM

Originally Posted by 213th

Why doesn't Michael Jackson win any races???

He likes to come in a little behind.

For the record, Michael Jackson didn't molest those kids.

He made love to them

**Welpe** · 01-22-06, 10:11 PM

Originally Posted by 213th

Can we devote this thread to non p/c or offending jokes?

You mean that isn't the entire forum...?

Indy · 01-22-06, 11:07 PM

lmao at the whole lot of you.

**213th** · 01-23-06, 01:34 AM

Originally Posted by Welpe

You mean that isn't the entire forum...?

lol true

Here is another stab

How is M/J like caviar?

They both come on crackers

**BrokenOne** · 01-23-06, 01:44 AM

While we are "ON" MJ one that was going around town here in Vegas was this.
just on a back note we have casinos here that are called the STATION casinos IE Sunset station, Palace Station, Texas Station etc.

They were are going to open another STATION casino dedicated to MJ.

It will be called Molest Station.

**MisterK** · 01-23-06, 03:43 AM

Ok, heres one for you. I can pretty much guarantee someone is going to be pissed about this one. Remember, it's just a joke...

______________________________ _________________________

God is sitting up in heaven and says to all the angels and saints

"Damn I need a vacation"

The angels and saints around God's big toe all murmer to themselves for a while and finally say

"God, we know where you should go! You should go to Mercury. You can relax in the sun, get a nice tan...."

God says

"Hell NO! I was there .. umm.. 25,000 years ago and got a sunburn Ill never forget! I'm NOT going back to MErcury, try again"

So the angels and saints murmer some more and finally say

"Ok god we got it now. You should goto Pluto! Its cold, you can ski, go down the mountains! It'll be GREAT!"

God says

"ABSOLUTELY NOT! I was on Pluto about 10,000 years ago and broke my leg skiing! Think of something else!"

Ok.. now the angels and saints are getting antsy and finally after much talking and deciding they finally come up with one last glorious idea.

"God! We HAVE IT! We know where you should go! You should go visit Earth! You made it! Everyone knows you there.. It's your place you know!"

God thunders down

"NO NO NO HELL NO ABSOLUTELY NOT! I WILL NOT!"

"I went there 2000 years ago on spring break , got this jewish bitch pregnant and haven't heard the end of that shit since"

**Terminator** · 01-23-06, 04:19 AM

Lmao!!!!!

**Terminator** · 01-23-06, 05:19 AM

Q: What's a way you can you tell a Jewish house?
A: Padlocks on the rubbish bins.

Q: How can you tell a Jewish house at Christmas?
A: Parking meter on the roof.

Q: Did you hear about the Jewish Santa Claus?
A: He comes down the chimney and says "Hi kids! You want to buy some presents?"

Q: Why do New Yorkers have glass rubbish bins?
A: So the Jews can go "window shopping".

Q: How was the Grand Canyon formed?
A: Someone dropped 20 cents down a rabbit hole at a Jewish Convention.

Q: What's the difference between pizzas and Jews?
A: Pizzas don't scream in the oven.

Q: Why are Yankee dollars green?
A: Because the Jews pick them before they're ripe.

Q: Why do Jews have such big noses?
A: Because air is free.

Q: What happens when a Jew with a full erection walks into a wall?
A: He breaks his nose.

**Terminator** · 01-23-06, 05:24 AM

Did you hear about the Pole who had a penis transplant?
His hand rejected it.

How can you tell a Polish Peeping Tom?
(Pull out front of own pants and look down).

How do you know when your house has been burgled by a Pole?
The garbage's been eaten, and the dog is pregnant.

Did you hear about the Polish bank?
You bring in a toaster and they give you a thousand dollars.

Have you ever seen the Polish sex manual?:
1) In.
2) Out.
3) Repeat if necessary.

**Terminator** · 01-23-06, 05:24 AM

Q: Why is Italy shaped like a boot?
A: Because you couldn't get that much shit into a shoe.

Q: Why do Italians wear hats?
A: To know which end to wipe.

Q: Did you hear about the Italian-American who emigrated to Poland?
A: He raised the IQ of both countries.

Q: What are the three occasions on which an Italian man visits his priest?
A: His first communion. When he gets married. Before his electrocution.

Q: What would your call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the other?
A: A speech impediment.

**Terminator** · 01-23-06, 05:25 AM

Q: What's black and goes 200 miles an hour?
A: An Ethiopian with a McDonald's voucher.

**Terminator** · 01-23-06, 05:26 AM

Q: What's the difference between a bowling-ball and a West Indian girl?
A: You can only get three fingers in a bowling-ball.

Q: What do hockey goalies and West Indian girls have in common?
A: They both change their pads after three periods.

Q: Why don't West Indian cheerleader girls do the splits?
A: They would stick to the floor!

**Terminator** · 01-23-06, 05:29 AM

: What do you call a Jewish homosexual?
A: A He-blew.

Q: What do you call an Irish homosexual?
A: Gay-lick.

Q: What do you call a Chinese homosexual?
A: Chew-man-chew.

Q: Considering that in order to get married, two heterosexuals have to get a marriage licence, what do two lesbians have to get?
A: A liquor licence.

Q: What do you call a gay milkman?
A: A Dairy Queen.

Q: Why was the homosexual fired from his job at the sperm bank?
A: For drinking on the job.