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  1. #1
    suncrafter's Avatar
    suncrafter is offline Rookie
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    Bad-Ass Quotient System (measure someone's bad-assness)

    I love it when people have "who would win in a fight" conversations. You know the kind - "Who would win in a fight between Robocop and the Terminator?" or "Who would win a fight between Peewee Herman and Gilligan?" Etc...

    But something that is always laking in those conversations is a proper, quantifiable, measurement of how much of a "bad-ass" someone or something is.

    Toward that end - here is my BAQ (Bad Ass Quotient) System:

    Fire Ant ---------------------------------------------------- BAQ = 1
    Sewer Rat ------------------------------------------------ BAQ = 10
    Chiwawa --------------------------------------------------- BAQ = 100
    Drunk Redneck armed with a pool cue -------- BAQ = 1,000
    Green Beret armed with a machete ------------ BAQ = 10,000
    Silverback Gorilla ------------------------------------- BAQ = 100,000
    Black Rhino -------------------------------------------- BAQ = 1,000,000
    Tyrannosaurus Rex ---------------------------------- BAQ = 10,000,000

    It would take about 10 fire ants to evenly fight 1 sewer rat.
    It would take about 10 sewer rats to evenly fight 1 Chiwawa.
    It would take about 10 Chiwawas to evenly fight 1 drunk redneck armed with a pool cue.
    ETC...

    Now we have a scale on which we can use to measure the "Bad-assness" of almost anyone or anything!

    Here are just a few examples (the compleate list can be found here http://www.normandcompany.com/INDEX/BAQ.html):

    Butterfly ============================== =================== 0 BAQ
    Fire Ant ------------------------------------------------------------- 1 BAQ
    Wasp ============================== ===================== 3 BAQ
    Gerbil ============================== ===================== 5 BAQ
    Tarantula ============================== =================== 7 BAQ
    Sewer Rat ---------------------------------------------------------- 10 BAQ
    Rabbit ============================== ==================== 35 BAQ
    Vampire Bat ============================== ================ 49 BAQ
    House Cat ============================== ================== 88 BAQ
    Lobster ============================== ==================== 90 BAQ
    Chiwawa ----------------------------------------------------------- 100 BAQ
    Rooster (armed with cock-fighting spurs) ========================== 102 BAQ
    Possum ============================== ==================== 287 BAQ
    Munchkin - from "Wizard of Oz" ============================== === 289 BAQ
    Gilligan ============================== ===================== 306 BAQ
    Oompa Loompa - from "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory" ============== 308 BAQ
    Barn Owl ============================== ==================== 421 BAQ
    Peewee Herman ============================== =============== 422 BAQ
    3PCO - from "Star Wars" ============================== ========= 449 BAQ
    Crack Whore ============================== ================== 550 BAQ
    Zombie ============================== ====================== 749 BAQ
    Woopi Goldburge ============================== =============== 831 BAQ
    Howard Stern ============================== ================== 852 BAQ
    Hawkeye Pierce - from the tv show "M.A.S.H." ======================== 856 BAQ
    Rush Limbaugh ============================== ================= 998 BAQ
    Drunk Redneck armed with a pool cue ---------------------- 1,000 BAQ
    George W. Bush ============================== =============== 1,105 BAQ
    Ferris Bueller - from "Ferris Bueller's Day Off" ========================= 1,290 BAQ
    Jeffrey Dahmer ============================== ================= 1,301 BAQ
    Tiger Woods (armed with golf club) ============================== === 1,439 BAQ
    Jack Sparrow - from "Pirates of the Caribbean" (unarmed) ================= 1,685 BAQ
    Gremlin - from the movie "Gremlins" ============================== == 1,696 BAQ
    Stalin ============================== ======================== 1,985 BAQ
    Pimp ============================== ======================== 1,990 BAQ
    Wolf ============================== ========================= 2,144 BAQ
    Boa Constrictor ============================== ================= 2,312 BAQ
    OJ Simpson (with glove and knife) ============================== ===== 3,100 BAQ
    Virgil Tibbs - from "In the Heat of the Night" ============================= 3,148 BAQ
    Wolverine - the animal ============================== ============== 3,345 BAQ
    Tony Montana - from "Scarface" (unarmed) ============================= 3,507 BAQ
    R2D2 - from "Star Wars" ============================== ============ 3,965 BAQ
    Matador (armed with red cape and lance) ============================== 3,989 BAQ
    Snake Plissken from "Escape from New York" (unarmed) ================== 6,010 BAQ
    Hannibal Lector ============================== ================== 6,047 BAQ
    Orc Soldier - from "Lord of the Rings" (armed with sword) =================== 7,093 BAQ
    Sumo Wrestler ============================== =================== 7,810 BAQ
    New York City Fire Fighter (armed with ax) ============================= 7,896 BAQ
    Mike Tyson ============================== ===================== 7,961 BAQ
    Rocky Balboa - from the movie "Rocky" ============================== = 8,501 BAQ
    B.A. Baracus - from the "A-Team" (unarmed) =========================== 8,627 BAQ
    Chuck Norris ============================== ==================== 8,812 BAQ
    Green Beret armed with a machete ------------------------- 10,000 BAQ
    Jackie Chan ============================== ==================== 12,791 BAQ
    L.A. Cop (armed) ============================== ================ 15,480 BAQ
    Alligator ============================== ====================== 16,812 BAQ
    Chewbacca - from "Star Wars" (unarmed) ============================ 19,947 BAQ
    Rambo (armed with his knife) ============================== ======= 19,990 BAQ
    Jack Sparrow - from "Pirates of the Caribbean" (armed with sword and musket) = 20,005 BAQ
    "7 of 9" - from "Star Trek" (unarmed) ============================== == 21,947 BAQ
    Harry Callahan - from "Dirty Harry" (armed)======================= ===== 22,110 BAQ
    Worf - from "Star Trek" (unarmed) ============================== ==== 31,014 BAQ
    Zbigniew Krycsiwiki AKA "Jaws" - henchman/villan from James Bond movies === 40,801 BAQ
    Elf (armed with sword) ============================== ============ 42,260 BAQ
    Lion ============================== ========================= 48,585 BAQ
    Conan the Barbarian (armed with sword) ============================= 52,026 BAQ
    Borg Drone - from "Star Trek" ============================== ======= 68,992 BAQ
    Worf - from "Star Trek" (armed with Batleth) =========================== 71,004 BAQ
    Vampire ============================== ====================== 79,323 BAQ
    Medieval Knight (full armor, on horseback, armed with sword and sheald) ====== 81,150 BAQ
    Jason - from "Friday the 13th" (armed with machete) ==================== 91,313 BAQ
    Phoenix - from Greek mythology ============================== ==== 98,200 BAQ
    Silverback Gorilla -------------------------------------- 100,000 BAQ
    bull ============================== ========================= 101,693 BAQ
    Indiana Jones (armed with his whip & gun) =========================== 101,771 BAQ
    Robocop (armed) ============================== =============== 120,100 BAQ
    James Bond (armed with his gun) ============================== === 131,007 BAQ
    Tony Montana - from "Scarface" (armed with his "little friend") ============= 150,507 BAQ
    Raptor ============================== ======================= 152,560 BAQ
    Chimera - from Greek mythology ============================== ==== 189,324 BAQ
    Green Beret (armed with AK47) ============================== ===== 190,221 BAQ
    Alien - from the movie "Aliens" ============================== ====== 203,331 BAQ
    B.A. Baracus - from the "A-Team" (armed with AK47) =================== 203,627 BAQ
    Rambo (armed with AK47 and his knife) ============================= 220,603 BAQ
    Colonial Marine - from the movie "Aliens" (with pulse rifle/grenade launcher) ==== 290,320 BAQ
    Wonder Woman (armed with lasso and bracelets) ====================== 291,239 BAQ
    Darth Vader (unarmed) ============================== =========== 292,405 BAQ
    Predator - from the movie "Predator" (armed) ========================== 309,811 BAQ
    Black Rhino --------------------------------------- 1,000,000 BAQ
    Boba Fett - From "Star Wars" (armed) ============================== = 1,000,059 BAQ
    Vasquez - Colonial Marine from the movie "Aliens" (armed with "Smart Gun") === 1,005,622 BAQ
    Darth Vader (armed with light saber) ============================== == 1,703,405 BAQ
    Graboid - from the movie "Tremors" ============================== === 2,164,403 BAQ
    Ellephant ============================== ===================== 3,064,416 BAQ
    Oliphaunt ============================== ===================== 9,193,248 BAQ
    Clifford the Big Red Dog ============================== =========== 9,224,710 BAQ
    Tyrannosaurus Rex ----------------------------------- 10,000,000 BAQ
    Incredible Hulk ============================== ================ 10,005,106 BAQ
    Magneto - from X-men movie ============================== ====== 12,200,943 BAQ
    Giant - from "Jack and the Bean Stalk" ============================ 22,001,274 BAQ
    King Kong ============================== =================== 90,567,890 BAQ
    Smaug - the dragon from "The Hobbit" ============================ 101,020,680 BAQ
    Godzilla ============================== ==================== 101,052,302 BAQ
    Kraken - from "Clash of the Titans" ============================== = 120,425,300 BAQ
    Zeus - king of the Greek gods ============================== === 2,009,907,329 BAQ

    You can find the whole list here:
    http://www.normandcompany.com/INDEX/BAQ.html




    Questions for all of you...

    1) What do you think your own BAQ is? (Be honest.)
    2) Who or what should I add to the above list.
    3) Do you think I have too much time on my hands?

  2. #2
    Operator13's Avatar
    Operator13 is offline Just Another Voice
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    Chuck Norris ============================== ==================== 8,812 BAQ

    Obvious mistake. Chuck should have a BAQ of at least 101,052,303!
    "The statements and opinions contained in this communication do not necessarily reflect the official position of the Commission regarding these issues."

  3. #3
    foxxymomma50's Avatar
    foxxymomma50 is offline Master Officer
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    #1)My BAQ= Aphrodite=========3,900,265,32 9 BAQ
    (Yep! That's right! LOL )
    #2)You should add me!
    #3)And yes...you may have a little more time on your hands than I do. But it looks like you have fun with it so that's ok! LOL
    "In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: it goes on."

    "Not a shred of evidence exists in favor of the idea that life is serious."


    "Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one's definition of your life; define yourself."

  4. #4
    jmur5074's Avatar
    jmur5074 is offline Moderator
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    What the hell is a Chiwawa??
    No one has greater love than this, to lay down ones life for ones friends - John 15:13

    "The Wicked Flee When No Man Pursueth: But The Righteous Are Bold As A Lion".

    We lucky few, we band of brothers. For he who today sheds his blood with me shall be my brother.

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~
    The opinions, beliefs, and ideas expressed in this post are mine, and mine alone. They are NOT the opinions, beliefs, ideas, or policies of my Agency, Police Chief, City Council, or any member of my department.

  5. #5
    Ducky's Avatar
    Ducky is offline Enforcer General
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    Quote Originally Posted by jmur5074 View Post
    What the hell is a Chiwawa??
    I'd guess a Chihuahua, but there's no way in hell one chihuahua could take on 10 sewer rats. 3 or 4 MAYBE, but not ten.

    My rating is top secret.
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    "...but to forget your duck, of course, means you're really screwed." - Gary Larson
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MtN1YnoL46Q


  6. #6
    suncrafter's Avatar
    suncrafter is offline Rookie
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    I've updated my "Bad-Ass Quotient" list! Unfortunetly the list is now too large to post here...
    So if you want to see the NEW list, you will need to visit: http://www.normandcompany.com/INDEX/BAQ.html

    Here are just a few of the 100 or so people/things that I added to the list:

    Goose ============================== ============================== 205 BAQ
    Triumph - the insult comic dog ============================== ===== 311 BAQ
    Mahatma Gandhi ============================== ===================== 409 BAQ
    Mr. Noodle ============================== ========================= 411 BAQ
    Stephanie - from "Lazy Town" ============================== ====== 498 BAQ
    "Bogeyman" ============================== ========================= 500 BAQ
    Paris Hilton ============================== ======================= 565 BAQ
    Sarah Silverman ============================== ================== 1,091 BAQ
    Al Franken ============================== ======================= 1,155 BAQ
    Charlie Chaplin ============================== ================== 2,585 BAQ
    Xenia Onatopp - from "GoldenEye" ============================== 6,022 BAQ
    Kira Nerys - from "Star Trek" ============================== ==== 6,040 BAQ
    Genghis Khan (armed with spear, club and fuzzy hat) =========== 19,549 BAQ
    Captain America (armed with his shield) ===================== 44,966 BAQ
    Alyx Vance - from "Half-Life 2" (armed with pistol & shotgun)= 290,967 BAQ
    Rancor - monster from "Return of the Jedi" ================ 13,909,786 BAQ
    Mothra ============================== ===================== 115,537,207 BAQ
    Superman ============================== ================= 1,002,065,711 BAQ

    Like I said, the whole list (all 259) can be found here:
    http://www.normandcompany.com/INDEX/BAQ.html

    Who or what else should I add to the list?

  7. #7
    Jks9199 is offline The Reason People Hate Cops & Causer of War
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    Quote Originally Posted by Operator13 View Post
    Chuck Norris ============================== ==================== 8,812 BAQ

    Obvious mistake. Chuck should have a BAQ of at least 101,052,303!
    Obviously -- this omits Chuck's beard.

    Chuck's beard alone would have a BAQ well of 200,000,000!

  8. #8
    gozling's Avatar
    gozling is offline the gene pool could use a little chlorine
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    dude... you have way too much time on your hands...

    or is this what guys spend time thinking up in the bathroom!

    lol
    http://www.allpoetry.com/Grunts%20Girl

    We dallied under
    Vine maples and sapling alders
    Searched for lady slippers
    But instead
    Found blackberry riots and
    Desiccated branches

    An old skid road
    Brought ghost ferns and
    Hollows filled with
    Skunk cabbage
    While waves wrapped
    Intricate lacings of weeds
    'Round mule spinners

    His cyanotic eyes
    Were hard enough to make
    The sun turn tail and
    Tender enough to attract me
    To his world of illusion

  9. #9
    Illiy is offline Corporal
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    Quote Originally Posted by gozling View Post
    dude... you have way too much time on your hands...

    or is this what guys spend time thinking up in the bathroom!

    lol
    +2,388,394,977,000 on the list....

  10. #10
    Tony's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by gozling View Post
    . . . . or is this what guys spend time thinking up in the bathroom!

    lol
    True, he does have too much free time and to answer your question gozling ~ Yes ~ ~ What? You think we only read in there???

  11. #11
    mack's Avatar
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    Tony! You guys can read too???????? I thought ya'll only looked at the pictures.

  12. #12
    suncrafter's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by mack View Post
    Tony! You guys can read too???????? I thought ya'll only looked at the pictures.

 

 

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