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05-16-07, 06:34 PM #1
Blind Guy Walks into a Bar........
A Blind Man Wanders Into An All Girls Biker Bar By Mistake. He Finds His Way To A Bar Stool And Orders Some Coffee. After Sitting There For A While, He Yells To The Waiter, “hey, You Wanna Hear A Blonde Joke?”
The Bar Immediately Falls Absolutely Silent. In A Very Deep, Husky Voice, The Woman Next To Him Says, “before You Tell That Joke, Sir, I Think It Is Only Fair – Given That You Are Blind—that You Should Know Five Things:
1. The Bartender Is A Blonde Girl With A Baseball Bat.
2. The Bouncer Is A Blonde Girl.
3. I’m A 6 Foot Tall, 175 Lb Blonde Woman With A Black Belt In Karate.
4. The Woman Sitting Next To Me Is Blonde And A Professional Weightlifter.
5. The Lady To Your Right Is Blonde And A Professional Wrestler.
Now, Think About It Seriously, Mister. Do You Still Wanna Tell That Joke?”
The Blind Man Thinks For A Second, Shakes His Head, And Mutters,
“no… Not If I’m Gonna Have To Explain It Five Times.”
05-16-07, 07:05 PM #2
05-16-07, 07:14 PM #3GrasshopperVerified LEO
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No man is that dumb.And Shepards we shall be,
for thee, My Lord, for thee,
Power hath descended forth from Thy hand,
That our feet may swiftly carry out Thy Command.
So we shall flow a river forth to Thee
And teeming with souls will it ever be.
In Nomine Patris, Et Filli, Et Spiritus Sancti.
05-16-07, 10:06 PM #4
"A strong man stands up for himself. A stronger man stands up for others."
The old sheriff was attending an awards dinner when a lady commented
on his wearing his sidearm. "Sheriff, I see you have your pistol. Are you
expecting trouble?" "No Ma'am. If I were expecting trouble, I would have
brought my rifle."
(just stole this one hope you don't mind)
The trouble with our liberal friends is not that they are ignorant,
it is just that they know so much that isn't so.
President Ronald Reagan
05-16-07, 10:08 PM #5Banned
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05-16-07, 11:50 PM #6
05-17-07, 12:14 AM #7YEAH, IM THE BERRIES, AND CHERRIES IN YOUR REAR VIEW MIRROR.
Handle every stressful situation like a dog.
Eat it, Play with it, or piss on it, and walk away!
As smart as man is, we haven't been able to invent a machine that can smell drugs or tell us where a person has walked,” Dogs are sophisticated investigative tools!
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