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Thread: Uh oh
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05-20-07, 09:21 AM #1
I ASK THE QUESTIONS AROUND HERE
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Uh oh
This is Daddy.
Is Mommy near the phone?"
No, Daddy. She's upstairs in the bedroom with Uncle Paul."
After a brief pause, Daddy says,
But honey,you haven't got an Uncle Paul."
Oh yes I do, and he's upstairs in the room with Mommy, Right now."
Brief Pause.
"Uh, okay then, this is what I want you to do
Put the phone down on the table, run upstairs and knock on the Bedroom door and shout to Mommy that Daddy's car just pulled into the driveway."
Okay, Daddy, Just a minute."
A few minutes later The little girl comes back to the phone. "I did it, Daddy."
"And what happened, honey?" He asked.
"Well, Mommy got all scared, jumped out of bed with no clothes on and ran around screaming. Then she tripped over the rug, hit her head on the dresser and now she isn't moving at all!"
"
Oh my Gosh!!! What about your Uncle Paul?"
"He jumped out of the bed with no clothes on, too. He was all scared and he jumped out of the back window and into the swimming pool. But I guess he didn't know that you took out the water last week to clean it. He hit the bottom of the pool and I think he's dead."
***Long Pause***
***Longer Pause***
***Even Longer Pause* **
Then Daddy says, "Swimming pool?
Is this 486-5731?"
No, I think you have the wrong number.......Don't you just hate it when someone's balls are hidden so well, they can't seem to find it themselves ~ RSA
You can't avoid gossip & rude words from
people. You can't please everybody. But remember, they wouldn't bother if you meant nothing.
FOLLOW RSA ON TWITTER (IF YOU'RE GOING TO FOLLOW ME, PLEASE SEND ME A MESSAGE ON HERE WITH YOUR O/R USERNAME AND TWEET USERNAME SO I'LL KNOW WHO I'M ACCEPTING OTHERWISE YOU WILL NOT BE ACCEPTED!)
https://twitter.com/RESIDENTSMARTAS
A PINT OF SWEAT SAVES A GALLON OF BLOOD ~ PATTON
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05-20-07, 10:21 AM #2
Swamp Kitty
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warped
humor......I admire that in a person...hehehe
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05-20-07, 12:58 PM #3
BDRT - Baby Daddy Removal Team
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"The American Republic will endure until the day Congress discovers that it can bribe the public with the public's money."
- Alexis de Tocqueville, Democracy in America
Tell me not, Sweet, I am unkind,
That from the nunnery
Of thy chaste breast and quiet mind
To war and arms I fly. - Lovelace
The opinions expressed by this poster are wholly his own, and should never be construed to even remotely be in representation of his employer, its agencies or assigns. In fact, they probably fail to be in alignment with the opinions of any rational human being.
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05-20-07, 01:02 PM #4
K9 Officer
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Oopppsss!
Nice
YEAH, IM THE BERRIES, AND CHERRIES IN YOUR REAR VIEW MIRROR.
Handle every stressful situation like a dog.
Eat it, Play with it, or piss on it, and walk away!
As smart as man is, we haven't been able to invent a machine that can smell drugs or tell us where a person has walked,” Dogs are sophisticated investigative tools!
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05-20-07, 01:03 PM #5
Tempus Fugit
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05-20-07, 01:17 PM #6
the gene pool could use a little chlorine
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lmao that was good
http://www.allpoetry.com/Grunts%20Girl
We dallied under
Vine maples and sapling alders
Searched for lady slippers
But instead
Found blackberry riots and
Desiccated branches
An old skid road
Brought ghost ferns and
Hollows filled with
Skunk cabbage
While waves wrapped
Intricate lacings of weeds
'Round mule spinners
His cyanotic eyes
Were hard enough to make
The sun turn tail and
Tender enough to attract me
To his world of illusion
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05-20-07, 01:45 PM #7
There is no place like home....
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Is this a true story experienced by Resident Smart Ass??? Humm,,, I think it is.
funny stufff,,,
To be a good Law Enforcement Officer you MUST know the law!
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05-20-07, 01:47 PM #8
I ASK THE QUESTIONS AROUND HERE
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Originally Posted by Big Al
Don't you just hate it when someone's balls are hidden so well, they can't seem to find it themselves ~ RSA
You can't avoid gossip & rude words from
people. You can't please everybody. But remember, they wouldn't bother if you meant nothing.
FOLLOW RSA ON TWITTER (IF YOU'RE GOING TO FOLLOW ME, PLEASE SEND ME A MESSAGE ON HERE WITH YOUR O/R USERNAME AND TWEET USERNAME SO I'LL KNOW WHO I'M ACCEPTING OTHERWISE YOU WILL NOT BE ACCEPTED!)
https://twitter.com/RESIDENTSMARTAS
A PINT OF SWEAT SAVES A GALLON OF BLOOD ~ PATTON
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05-20-07, 02:06 PM #9
Master Turd Cutter
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Just because your sign off after you're shift is done, doesn't mean that it's over and put blinders on. You're a cop 24/7 wether you like it or not. If thats something you can't handle, you should find a new line of work!
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05-20-07, 06:31 PM #10
Swamp Kitty
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Originally Posted by Resident Smart Ass
We miss seeing you in the blue dress, devilish one
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05-20-07, 07:21 PM #11
I ASK THE QUESTIONS AROUND HERE
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Originally Posted by dapples
We miss seeing you in the blue dress, devilish one
yeah i know..but it's been a pain in the ass to logon to the poker room..since i've changed my screenname (on LEF), my old password doesn't work (even though my logon name for poker (NJPD) and it automatically gave me some ridiculous password difficult to rememberDon't you just hate it when someone's balls are hidden so well, they can't seem to find it themselves ~ RSA
You can't avoid gossip & rude words from
people. You can't please everybody. But remember, they wouldn't bother if you meant nothing.
FOLLOW RSA ON TWITTER (IF YOU'RE GOING TO FOLLOW ME, PLEASE SEND ME A MESSAGE ON HERE WITH YOUR O/R USERNAME AND TWEET USERNAME SO I'LL KNOW WHO I'M ACCEPTING OTHERWISE YOU WILL NOT BE ACCEPTED!)
https://twitter.com/RESIDENTSMARTAS
A PINT OF SWEAT SAVES A GALLON OF BLOOD ~ PATTON
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05-20-07, 07:31 PM #12
Swamp Kitty
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Originally Posted by Resident Smart Ass
blonde too?
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05-20-07, 10:47 PM #13
Sergeant
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05-20-07, 11:52 PM #14
Rookie
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I like it!
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05-20-07, 11:59 PM #15
Injustice/Indifference/In God we trust
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Poetic justice.
Do not war for peace. If you must war, war for justice. For without justice there is no peace. -me
We are who we choose to be.
R.I.P. Arielle. 08/20/2010-09/16/2012
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