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Thread: Uh oh

  1. #1
    Resident Smart Ass's Avatar
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    Uh oh

    This is Daddy.

    Is Mommy near the phone?"

    No, Daddy. She's upstairs in the bedroom with Uncle Paul."

    After a brief pause, Daddy says,
    But honey,you haven't got an Uncle Paul."

    Oh yes I do, and he's upstairs in the room with Mommy, Right now."

    Brief Pause.

    "Uh, okay then, this is what I want you to do

    Put the phone down on the table, run upstairs and knock on the Bedroom door and shout to Mommy that Daddy's car just pulled into the driveway."
    Okay, Daddy, Just a minute."

    A few minutes later The little girl comes back to the phone. "I did it, Daddy."

    "And what happened, honey?" He asked.

    "Well, Mommy got all scared, jumped out of bed with no clothes on and ran around screaming. Then she tripped over the rug, hit her head on the dresser and now she isn't moving at all!"
    "
    Oh my Gosh!!! What about your Uncle Paul?"

    "He jumped out of the bed with no clothes on, too. He was all scared and he jumped out of the back window and into the swimming pool. But I guess he didn't know that you took out the water last week to clean it. He hit the bottom of the pool and I think he's dead."

    ***Long Pause***

    ***Longer Pause***

    ***Even Longer Pause* **

    Then Daddy says, "Swimming pool?

    Is this 486-5731?"
    No, I think you have the wrong number.......
    Don't you just hate it when someone's balls are hidden so well, they can't seem to find it themselves ~ RSA

    You can't avoid gossip & rude words from
    people. You can't please everybody. But remember, they wouldn't bother if you meant nothing.


    FOLLOW RSA ON TWITTER (IF YOU'RE GOING TO FOLLOW ME, PLEASE SEND ME A MESSAGE ON HERE WITH YOUR O/R USERNAME AND TWEET USERNAME SO I'LL KNOW WHO I'M ACCEPTING OTHERWISE YOU WILL NOT BE ACCEPTED!)
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  2. #2
    dapples's Avatar
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    warped humor......I admire that in a person...hehehe

  3. #3
    countybear's Avatar
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    "The American Republic will endure until the day Congress discovers that it can bribe the public with the public's money."
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    k-9max's Avatar
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    Oopppsss!

    Nice
    YEAH, IM THE BERRIES, AND CHERRIES IN YOUR REAR VIEW MIRROR.

    Handle every stressful situation like a dog.
    Eat it, Play with it, or piss on it, and walk away!

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  5. #5
    Cidp24's Avatar
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  6. #6
    gozling's Avatar
    gozling is offline the gene pool could use a little chlorine
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    lmao that was good
    http://www.allpoetry.com/Grunts%20Girl

    We dallied under
    Vine maples and sapling alders
    Searched for lady slippers
    But instead
    Found blackberry riots and
    Desiccated branches

    An old skid road
    Brought ghost ferns and
    Hollows filled with
    Skunk cabbage
    While waves wrapped
    Intricate lacings of weeds
    'Round mule spinners

    His cyanotic eyes
    Were hard enough to make
    The sun turn tail and
    Tender enough to attract me
    To his world of illusion

  7. #7
    Big Al's Avatar
    Big Al is offline There is no place like home....
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    Is this a true story experienced by Resident Smart Ass??? Humm,,, I think it is.

    funny stufff,,,
    To be a good Law Enforcement Officer you MUST know the law!

  8. #8
    Resident Smart Ass's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Big Al View Post
    Is this a true story experienced by Resident Smart Ass??? Humm,,, I think it is.

    funny stufff,,,

    Don't you just hate it when someone's balls are hidden so well, they can't seem to find it themselves ~ RSA

    You can't avoid gossip & rude words from
    people. You can't please everybody. But remember, they wouldn't bother if you meant nothing.


    FOLLOW RSA ON TWITTER (IF YOU'RE GOING TO FOLLOW ME, PLEASE SEND ME A MESSAGE ON HERE WITH YOUR O/R USERNAME AND TWEET USERNAME SO I'LL KNOW WHO I'M ACCEPTING OTHERWISE YOU WILL NOT BE ACCEPTED!)
    https://twitter.com/RESIDENTSMARTAS



    A PINT OF SWEAT SAVES A GALLON OF BLOOD ~ PATTON



  9. #9
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    Just because your sign off after you're shift is done, doesn't mean that it's over and put blinders on. You're a cop 24/7 wether you like it or not. If thats something you can't handle, you should find a new line of work!

  10. #10
    dapples's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Resident Smart Ass View Post

    We miss seeing you in the blue dress, devilish one

  11. #11
    Resident Smart Ass's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by dapples View Post

    We miss seeing you in the blue dress, devilish one

    yeah i know..but it's been a pain in the ass to logon to the poker room..since i've changed my screenname (on LEF), my old password doesn't work (even though my logon name for poker (NJPD) and it automatically gave me some ridiculous password difficult to remember
    Don't you just hate it when someone's balls are hidden so well, they can't seem to find it themselves ~ RSA

    You can't avoid gossip & rude words from
    people. You can't please everybody. But remember, they wouldn't bother if you meant nothing.


    FOLLOW RSA ON TWITTER (IF YOU'RE GOING TO FOLLOW ME, PLEASE SEND ME A MESSAGE ON HERE WITH YOUR O/R USERNAME AND TWEET USERNAME SO I'LL KNOW WHO I'M ACCEPTING OTHERWISE YOU WILL NOT BE ACCEPTED!)
    https://twitter.com/RESIDENTSMARTAS



    A PINT OF SWEAT SAVES A GALLON OF BLOOD ~ PATTON



  12. #12
    dapples's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Resident Smart Ass View Post
    yeah i know..but it's been a pain in the ass to logon to the poker room..since i've changed my screenname (on LEF), my old password doesn't work (even though my logon name for poker (NJPD) and it automatically gave me some ridiculous password difficult to remember

    blonde too?

  13. #13
    iso607's Avatar
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  14. #14
    tja304 is offline Rookie
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    I like it!

  15. #15
    lewisipso's Avatar
    lewisipso is offline Injustice/Indifference/In God we trust
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    Poetic justice.
    Do not war for peace. If you must war, war for justice. For without justice there is no peace. -me

    We are who we choose to be.

    R.I.P. Arielle. 08/20/2010-09/16/2012


 

 

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