If you're visiting NJ, here are some rules for Driving in New Jersey

**Resident Smart Ass** · 05-23-07, 08:59 PM

1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is New-erk not New-ark.

2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00 a.m. to noon. The evening rush hour is from noon to 7:00 p.m. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.

3. The minimum acceptable speed on the turnpike is 85 mph. On the parkway it's 105 or 110. Anything less is considered "Wussy."

4. Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Jersey has its own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires go second. However, in Monmouth county, SUV-driving, cell phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.

5. If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
cussed out, and possibly shot.

6. Never honk at anyone. Ever. Seriously. It's another offense that can get you shot.

7. Road construction is permanent and continuous in all of Jersey. Detour barrels are moved around for your entertainment pleasure during the middle of the night to make the next day's driving a bit more exciting.

8. Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats, barrels, cones, celebs, rubber-neckers, shredded tires, cell-phoners, deer and other road kill, and the Homeless feeding on any of these items.

9. Mapquest does not work here -- none of the roads are where they say they are or go where they say they do and all the Turnpike ez pass lanes are moved each night once again to make your ride more exciting.

10. If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally activated."

11. If you are in the left lane and only driving 70 in a 55-65 mph zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off" accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.

12. Do not try to estimate travel time -- just leave Monday afternoon for Tuesday appointments, by noon Thursday for Friday and right after church on Sunday for anything on Monday morning.

**Buttercup** · 05-23-07, 09:01 PM

It's funny because it's true.

**conalabu** · 05-23-07, 11:49 PM

It ain't that bad. You just got to know how to drive. Indy style.

**blackcamaro8895** · 05-24-07, 01:29 AM

I drive Indy style real well.

**Virginian** · 05-24-07, 10:38 AM

3. The minimum acceptable speed on the turnpike is 85 mph. On the parkway it's 105 or 110. Anything less is considered "Wussy."

I'll print this out as advice from a NJ police officer for when I get pulled on my way up there this weekend

**Beans** · 05-24-07, 10:42 AM

Being a New Jersey native, I found that to be so true!

**gozling** · 05-24-07, 11:27 AM

I found those funny

the only rule here is that you have to have once owned a donkey to get your DL.

**sgtbear111** · 05-24-07, 12:04 PM

Might add to the NJ list from Latte-Land driving academy:

A turn signal is an invitation for the jerk on your rear bumper to pass on that side.

Exit ramps on the right are for left lane users on important business.

Left exit ramps are for stopping to wait to merge right. Same rule applies to all on-ramps.

Stop signs and red lights are optional if you are late, drive an expensive car ( BMW, Acura, Lexus, MerBenz, etc), and are busy on the phone, eating, sipping a latte, fixing your face, reading the paper, or otherwise in a "divided attention" mode with competing priorities.