Lookin' for sex
Almost everyone who has a dog calls him "Rover" or "Boy", or something similar.
I call mine "SEX".
He's a great pal, but has caused me a great deal of embarrassment.
Once I went to city hall to renew his license. I told the clerk I would like a license for Sex. He said, "I'd like one too." Then I said, "But this is for a dog." He told me he didn't care what she looked like.
Then I said, "You don't understand. I've had Sex since I was nine years old." The clerk winked at me and said, "You musta been one helluva kid."
When I got married and went on my honeymoon, I took the dog with me. I told the motel desk clerk I wanted a room for my wife and I, and a special room for Sex. He said, "You don't need a special room. As long as you pay your bill, we don't really care what you do." I said, "Look, you don't understand. Sex keeps me awake at night." Damned clerk replied, "Funny, I have the same problem."
One day, I entered Sex in a contest, but before the competition began, the dog ran away. Another contestant asked me why I was just standing there looking dissappointed. I told him I planned to have Sex in the contest. He told me I should have sold my own tickets.
"But you don't understand", I said. "I hoped to have Sex on T. V." He said, "Well now that cable T. V. is everywhere, it's no big deal anymore."
When my wife and I seperated, we went to court to fight over custody of the dog. I said, "Your Honor, I had Sex before I was married." The Judge said, "This courtroom isn't a confessional. Stick to the case, please!"
Then I told him that after I was married, Sex left me. He said, "Me too!"
Just last night, Sex ran off again. I spent hours looking all over town for him. A cop came over to me and asked me, "What are you doing in this alley at 4 o'clock in the morning?"
Naturally, I told him I was looking for Sex.
(By the way, my case comes up next Monday.)