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Thread: True? False?
05-26-07, 04:21 PM #1Older Than DirtVerified LEO
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No matter if this is true or not, it is still funny, and just dumb enough to be true.
I had to have the garage door repaired. The Sears repairman told us that one of our problems was that we did not have a "large" enough motor on the opener. I thought for a minute, and said that we had the largest one Sears made at that time a 1/2 horsepower. He shook his head and said, "Lady, you need a 1/4 horsepower." I responded that 1/2 was larger than 1/4. He said, "NO, it's not." Four is larger than two. We haven't used Sears repair since.
I live in a semi rural area. We recently had a new neighbor call the local township administrative office to request the removal of the Deer Crossing sign on our road. The reason: "Too many deer are being hit by cars out here! I don't think this is a good place for them to be crossing anymore."
From Kingman , KS
IDIOTS IN FOOD SERVICE:
My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco. She asked the person behind the counter for "minimal lettuce." He said he was sorry, but they only had iceburg. He was a Chef?
Yep...From Kansas City!
I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked, "Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge. To which I replied, "If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?" He smiled knowingly and nodded, "That's why we ask."
Happened in Birmingham, Ala.
The stoplight on the corner buzzes when its safe to cross the street. I was crossing with an intellectually challenged coworker of mine. She asked if I knew what the buzzer was for. I explained that it signals blind people when the light is red. Appalled, she responded, “What on earth are blind people doing driving?!" She was a probation officer in Wichita , KS
At a good-bye luncheon for an old and dear coworker. She was leaving the company due to "downsizing." Our manager commented cheerfully, "This is fun. We should do this more often." Not another word was spoken. We all just looked at each other with that deer-in-the-headlights stare. This was a bunch at Texas Instruments.
I work with an individual who plugged her power strip back into itself and for the sake of her own life, couldn't understand why her system would not turn on. A deputy with the Dallas County Sheriffs office no less.
When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up our car, we were told the keys had been locked in it. We went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the driver’s side door. As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked. "Hey," I announced to the technician, "its open! His reply, "I know - I already got that side." This was at the Ford dealership in Canton, Mississippi!
STAY ALERT! They walk among us... And they REPRODUCE!Facta non verba
"The good Lord set definite limits on man's wisdom, but set no limits on his stupidity — and that's not fair!" — Konrad Adenauer,
05-27-07, 02:29 AM #2Do not war for peace. If you must war, war for justice. For without justice there is no peace. -me
We are who we choose to be.
R.I.P. Arielle. 08/20/2010-09/16/2012
05-31-07, 09:28 AM #3
That last one actually made my head hurt! How can someone be so stupid?
"Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgment that something else is more important than fear."
-- Ambrose Redmoon
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05-31-07, 09:35 AM #4
That last one was better than the one I experienced.
One day, a lady came in to the Precinct to make a report. She soon realized she locked herself out of her car and asked if I had a slim jim. I responded, "yes", and proceeded to go out to her car. I returned about 15 seconds later with her keys. She responded, "wow, that was fast!" I said, "Well, it helped that your window was rolled down."
05-31-07, 02:37 PM #5
Snuffy good to see you back. missed the emu avatar!
We had one officer who tried for 10 minutes to get into the trunk... of my patrol car. His car was next to mine, had a light bar and graphics and mine was a slick top and no graphics. Had 3 other officers watching!
Searching for Evil and the Perfect donut (Love that book)
"It's not who you are underneath, but what you do that defines you"
There are gains for all our losses
There are balms for all our pain
But, when youth, the dream, departs
It takes something from our hearts
And it never comes again
"Captain, it is I Ensign Pulver. I just threw your damn palm tree overboard. Now, what's all this crap about no movie tonight?" -Ens Pulver in Mister Roberts
The man who will go where his colors go, without asking who will fight a phantom foe in the jungle and mountain range, without counting, and who will suffer and die in the midst of incredible hardship, without complaint, is still what he has always been, from Imperial Rome to sceptered Britain to democratic America. He is the stuff of which legions are made. ...His pride is in his colors and his regiment, his training hard and thorough and coldly realistic, to fit him for what he must face...and his obedience is to his orders. He has been called United State Marine.
T.R. Fehrenbach, This Kind of War
05-31-07, 05:24 PM #6
06-02-07, 03:51 AM #7
I recently was leaving a local grocery store and observed a man walk up to his new Mustang,the man had several bags in his arms and was trying to shift them from arm to arm to find his keys,he finally put all his bags down on the ground ,found the pocket that held his keys ,and proceeded to unlock the door,gather up the groceries that had fallen out of the bag and rolled into the parking lot and under his car,and place them into the back seat.Oh ,did I mention the Mustang was a convertible? You got it---with the top down
06-02-07, 04:28 AM #8The views expressed in the above post are the sole opinion of the author and do not reflect any official position by the author's employer and/or municipality.
06-14-07, 01:15 AM #9
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