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Thread: $20

  1. #1
    Lo523's Avatar
    Lo523 is offline Master Officer
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    $20

    TWENTY DOLLARS

    On their wedding night, the young bride approached her new husband and
    asked for $20.00 for their first lovemaking encounter. In his highly aroused
    state, her husband readily agreed.

    This scenario was repeated each time they made love, for more than 30 years,
    with him thinking that it was a cute way for her to afford new clothes and
    other incidentals that she needed.

    Arriving home around noon one day, she was surprised to find her husband in
    a very drunken state.

    During the next few minutes, he explained that his employer was going
    through a process of corporate down sizing, and he had been let go. It was unlikely that, at the age of 59, he'd be able to find another position that paid anywhere near what he'd been earning, and therefore, they were financially ruined.


    Calmly, his wife handed him a bank book which showed more than thirty years of steady deposits and interest totaling nearly $1 million. Then she showedhim certificates of deposits issued by the bank which were worth over $2 million, and informed him that they were one of the largest depositors in the bank.

    She explained that for the more than three decades she had "charged" him for sex, these holdings had multiplied and these were the results of her savings and investments.

    Faced with evidence of cash and investments worth over $3 million, her husband was so astounded he could barely speak, but finally he found his voice and blurted out, "If I'd had any idea what you were doing, I would have given you all my business!"

    That's when she shot him.

    You know, sometimes, men just don't know when to keep their mouths shut.
    Never approach a bull by the front, a horse from behind, or an idiot from any direction.

  2. #2
    conalabu is offline Grasshopper
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    hey now, the boy was drunk. That was unfair.
    And Shepards we shall be,
    for thee, My Lord, for thee,
    Power hath descended forth from Thy hand,
    That our feet may swiftly carry out Thy Command.
    So we shall flow a river forth to Thee
    And teeming with souls will it ever be.
    In Nomine Patris, Et Filli, Et Spiritus Sancti.

  3. #3
    conalabu is offline Grasshopper
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    Quote Originally Posted by Julia View Post
    LOL, so true.

    Seems a lot of woman have that problem.
    And Shepards we shall be,
    for thee, My Lord, for thee,
    Power hath descended forth from Thy hand,
    That our feet may swiftly carry out Thy Command.
    So we shall flow a river forth to Thee
    And teeming with souls will it ever be.
    In Nomine Patris, Et Filli, Et Spiritus Sancti.

  4. #4
    dla4079's Avatar
    dla4079 is offline Corporal
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    Now, where did my wife hide the savings account book???????

    Capt. D. Larimore
    NTISF Gang Unit

  5. #5
    TacticalII's Avatar
    TacticalII is offline Member
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    Hum lets see: I've been married 5 years....$20 a "pop"....hum....my wife should have about $160 saved up

  6. #6
    snuffy2202's Avatar
    snuffy2202 is offline JUST ANOTHER TEQUILA SUNRISE
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    3 million!? Sounds like the wife wasn't given him all her business, either!

  7. #7
    gozling's Avatar
    gozling is offline the gene pool could use a little chlorine
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    LMAO.. that was funnny
    http://www.allpoetry.com/Grunts%20Girl

    We dallied under
    Vine maples and sapling alders
    Searched for lady slippers
    But instead
    Found blackberry riots and
    Desiccated branches

    An old skid road
    Brought ghost ferns and
    Hollows filled with
    Skunk cabbage
    While waves wrapped
    Intricate lacings of weeds
    'Round mule spinners

    His cyanotic eyes
    Were hard enough to make
    The sun turn tail and
    Tender enough to attract me
    To his world of illusion

  8. #8
    snuffy2202's Avatar
    snuffy2202 is offline JUST ANOTHER TEQUILA SUNRISE
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    Damn, Goz, it's hard to type and clap my hands at the same time!

  9. #9
    JLK's Avatar
    JLK
    JLK is offline Protecting Those That Can't Protect Themselves
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    funny


    "A strong man stands up for himself. A stronger man stands up for others."
    Ben

    The old sheriff was attending an awards dinner when a lady commented
    on his wearing his sidearm. "Sheriff, I see you have your pistol. Are you
    expecting trouble?" "No Ma'am. If I were expecting trouble, I would have
    brought my rifle."
    (just stole this one hope you don't mind)


    The trouble with our liberal friends is not that they are ignorant,
    it is just that they know so much that isn't so.
    President Ronald Reagan



 

 

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