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Thread: $20
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05-28-07, 09:14 PM #1
$20
TWENTY DOLLARS
On their wedding night, the young bride approached her new husband andasked for $20.00 for their first lovemaking encounter. In his highly arousedstate, her husband readily agreed.
This scenario was repeated each time they made love, for more than 30 years,with him thinking that it was a cute way for her to afford new clothes andother incidentals that she needed.
Arriving home around noon one day, she was surprised to find her husband ina very drunken state.
During the next few minutes, he explained that his employer was goingthrough a process of corporate down sizing, and he had been let go. It was unlikely that, at the age of 59, he'd be able to find another position that paid anywhere near what he'd been earning, and therefore, they were financially ruined.
Calmly, his wife handed him a bank book which showed more than thirty years of steady deposits and interest totaling nearly $1 million. Then she showedhim certificates of deposits issued by the bank which were worth over $2 million, and informed him that they were one of the largest depositors in the bank.
She explained that for the more than three decades she had "charged" him for sex, these holdings had multiplied and these were the results of her savings and investments.
Faced with evidence of cash and investments worth over $3 million, her husband was so astounded he could barely speak, but finally he found his voice and blurted out, "If I'd had any idea what you were doing, I would have given you all my business!"
That's when she shot him.
You know, sometimes, men just don't know when to keep their mouths shut.Never approach a bull by the front, a horse from behind, or an idiot from any direction.
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05-28-07, 11:14 PM #2
Grasshopper
Verified LEO- Join Date
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hey now, the boy was drunk. That was unfair.
And Shepards we shall be,
for thee, My Lord, for thee,
Power hath descended forth from Thy hand,
That our feet may swiftly carry out Thy Command.
So we shall flow a river forth to Thee
And teeming with souls will it ever be.
In Nomine Patris, Et Filli, Et Spiritus Sancti.
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05-29-07, 11:31 PM #3
Grasshopper
Verified LEO- Join Date
- 05-16-06
- Location
- NC
- Posts
- 3,404
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- 4019228
And Shepards we shall be,
for thee, My Lord, for thee,
Power hath descended forth from Thy hand,
That our feet may swiftly carry out Thy Command.
So we shall flow a river forth to Thee
And teeming with souls will it ever be.
In Nomine Patris, Et Filli, Et Spiritus Sancti.
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05-29-07, 11:38 PM #4
Now, where did my wife hide the savings account book???????
Capt. D. Larimore
NTISF Gang Unit
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05-31-07, 11:54 AM #5
Hum lets see: I've been married 5 years....$20 a "pop"....hum....my wife should have about $160 saved up
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05-31-07, 11:56 AM #6
3 million!? Sounds like the wife wasn't given him all her business, either!
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05-31-07, 12:06 PM #7
LMAO.. that was funnny
http://www.allpoetry.com/Grunts%20Girl
We dallied under
Vine maples and sapling alders
Searched for lady slippers
But instead
Found blackberry riots and
Desiccated branches
An old skid road
Brought ghost ferns and
Hollows filled with
Skunk cabbage
While waves wrapped
Intricate lacings of weeds
'Round mule spinners
His cyanotic eyes
Were hard enough to make
The sun turn tail and
Tender enough to attract me
To his world of illusion
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05-31-07, 12:10 PM #8
Damn, Goz, it's hard to type and clap my hands at the same time!
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06-02-07, 02:01 AM #9
funny

"A strong man stands up for himself. A stronger man stands up for others."
Ben
The old sheriff was attending an awards dinner when a lady commented
on his wearing his sidearm. "Sheriff, I see you have your pistol. Are you
expecting trouble?" "No Ma'am. If I were expecting trouble, I would have
brought my rifle."
(just stole this one hope you don't mind)
The trouble with our liberal friends is not that they are ignorant,
it is just that they know so much that isn't so.
President Ronald Reagan

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