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  1. #1
    smokey703's Avatar
    smokey703 is offline I'm Bi-WINNING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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    How to beat a speeding ticket

    A police officer pulls a guy over for speeding and has the following exchange:

    Officer: May I see your driver's license?

    Driver: I don't have one. It was revoked when I got my 5th DWI.

    Officer: May I see the registration for this vehicle?

    Driver: It's not my car. I stole it.

    Officer: The car is stolen?

    Driver: That's right. But come to think of it, I think I saw the registration in the glove box when I was putting my gun in there.

    Officer: There's a gun in the glove box?

    Driver: Yes sir. That's where I put it after I shot and killed the woman who owns this car and stuffed her in the trunk.

    Officer: There's a BODY in the TRUNK?!?!?

    Driver: Yes, sir.

    Hearing this, the officer immediately called his Captain. The car was quickly surrounded by police, and the Captain approached the driver to handle the tense situation:

    Captain: Sir, can I see your license?

    Driver: Sure. Here it is. It was valid.

    Captain: Whose car is this?

    Driver: It's mine, officer. Here's the registration. The driver owned the car.

    Captain: Could you slowly open your glove box so I can see if there's a gun in it?

    Driver: Yes, sir, but there's no gun in it. Sure enough, there was nothing in the glove box.

    Captain: Would you mind opening your trunk? I was told you said there's a body in it.

    Driver: No problem. Trunk is opened; no body.

    Captain: I don't understand it. The officer who stopped you said you told him you didn't have a license, stole the car, had a gun in the glovebox, and that there was a dead body in the trunk.

    Driver: Yeah, I'll bet the lying s.o.b. told you I was speeding, too!
    Wise men stand behind me, brave men stand beside me, but only fools stand against me.

    The force that propels you to prevail when you are put to a test of survival will be a mindset that refuses to accept nothing but winning.

    Too often, we lose sight of life's simple pleasures. Remember, when someone annoys you it takes 42 muscles in your face to frown, BUT, it only takes 4 muscles to reach out and bitch slap that motherf*cker upside the head.

  2. #2
    blackcamaro8895's Avatar
    blackcamaro8895 is offline Master Officer
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    pfffft that would piss me off. Good one LOL

  3. #3
    BEB
    BEB is offline Banned
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  4. #4
    CHARTOTO's Avatar
    CHARTOTO is offline Officer First Class
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    thats funny!!

  5. #5
    Cross240 is offline Temporarily Civilianized
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    How to get out of a ticket..........
    There is no hunting like the hunting of man, and those who have hunted armed men long enough and liked it, never care for anything else thereafter. -- Ernest Hemingway

  6. #6
    Bob Loblaw's Avatar
    Bob Loblaw is offline Dwayne Elizondo Mountain Dew Herbert Camacho
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    Cross, you beat me to it!
    Quote Originally Posted by Jenna
    he (Obama) doesn't have a birth certificate because he wasn't born, he was created in a Muslim witch's cauldron!
    Quote Originally Posted by Buttercup View Post
    I must admit, there have been few pieces of meat I've ever jammed into my mouth that have been as satisfying as Bob's.
    Quote Originally Posted by Gecko45 "The Mall Ninja"
    Vietnam still shudders when it hears the name of a an assasin so skillful and deadly, he is remembered decades later
    Reca is the best thing since sliced bread!

 

 

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