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  1. #1
    Motorwaycop's Avatar
    Motorwaycop is offline Retired Plod
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    New drive through cash machines in UK

    Halifax Building Society is very pleased to announce that they are installing new "Drive
    Thru" Cash Dispensers.
    To enable customers to gain maximum benefit from this new facility they have conducted
    intensive behavioural studies to come up with the appropriate procedures for their use.
    AS FOLLOWS:
    Procedures for MALE customers
    1. Drive up to the cash machine
    2. Wind down your car window
    3. Insert your card into machine and enter PIN
    4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw
    5. Retrieve card, cash, and receipt
    6. Wind up window
    7. Drive off
    Procedures for FEMALE customers
    1. Drive up to the cash machine
    2. Reverse the required distance to align car window with cash machine
    3. Re-start the stalled engine
    4. Wind down the window
    5. Find handbag, remove all contents onto passenger seat to find card
    6. Turn the radio down
    7. Attempt to insert card into machine
    8. Open car door to allow easier access to cash machine due to its excessive distance
    from the car
    9. Insert card
    10. Re-insert card the right way up
    11. Re-enter handbag to find diary with your PIN number written on the inside back page
    12. Enter PIN
    13. Press "cancel", and re-enter correct PIN
    14. Enter amount of cash required
    15. Check make-up in rear view mirror
    16. Retrieve cash and receipt
    17. Empty handbag again, to locate purse and place cash inside
    18. Place receipt in back of chequebook
    19. Re-check make-up
    20. Drive forward 2 metres
    21. Reverse back to cash machine
    22. Retrieve card
    23. Re-empty handbag, locate card holder, and place card into slot provided
    24. Restart stalled engine and pull off
    25. Drive for 2 to 3 miles
    26. Release handbrake.
    the sole advantage of power is that you can do more good.
    ( Baltasar Gracian )

  2. #2
    Trojan 42's Avatar
    Trojan 42 is offline Retired Ninja
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    That would be funny, if it wasn't so true.
    To be born an Englishman, is to be a winner in the Lottery of Life.



    I've Talked the Talk and I've Walked the Walk, now I Sit the Sit!

    It's not until you look at an Ant through a magnifying glass on a sunny day, that you realise just how often they burst into flames for no reason!

  3. #3
    iso607's Avatar
    iso607 is offline Sergeant
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  4. #4
    pc830cop's Avatar
    pc830cop is offline Just another squirrel looking for a NUT
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    Me ex fiance was like that! Good reason not to get married!


    Searching for Evil and the Perfect donut (Love that book)

    "It's not who you are underneath, but what you do that defines you"
    -Batman Begins

    There are gains for all our losses
    There are balms for all our pain
    But, when youth, the dream, departs
    It takes something from our hearts
    And it never comes again

    "Captain, it is I Ensign Pulver. I just threw your damn palm tree overboard. Now, what's all this crap about no movie tonight?" -Ens Pulver in Mister Roberts

    The man who will go where his colors go, without asking who will fight a phantom foe in the jungle and mountain range, without counting, and who will suffer and die in the midst of incredible hardship, without complaint, is still what he has always been, from Imperial Rome to sceptered Britain to democratic America. He is the stuff of which legions are made. ...His pride is in his colors and his regiment, his training hard and thorough and coldly realistic, to fit him for what he must face...and his obedience is to his orders. He has been called United State Marine.
    T.R. Fehrenbach, This Kind of War

  5. #5
    Tony's Avatar
    Tony is offline Banned
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    Quote Originally Posted by Trojan 42 View Post
    That would be funny, if it wasn't so true.
    Yes mate, but still . . .

 

 

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