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Thread: onions and christmas trees
06-13-07, 02:44 AM #1
onions and christmas trees
ONIONS AND CHRISTMAS TREES
A family is at the dinner table.The son asks his father, "Dad,
how many kinds of boobs are there?
The father, surprised, answers, "Well, son, there are three
kinds of breasts. In her 20's, a woman's breasts are like melons, round
and firm. In Her 30's to
40's, they are like pears, still nice but hanging a bit. After
50, they are like onions".
"Yes, you see them and they make you cry."
This infuriated his wife and daughter so the daughter said,
"Mum, How many kinds of 'willies' are there?"
The mother, surprised, smiles and answers, "Well dear, a man
goes through three phases. In his 20's, his willy is like an oak tree,
Mighty and hard. In his 30's and 40's, it is like a birch, flexible! but
After his 50's, it is like a Christmas tree".
A Christmas tree?"
"Yes, Dear - dead from the root up and the balls are just for
"A strong man stands up for himself. A stronger man stands up for others."
The old sheriff was attending an awards dinner when a lady commented
on his wearing his sidearm. "Sheriff, I see you have your pistol. Are you
expecting trouble?" "No Ma'am. If I were expecting trouble, I would have
brought my rifle."
(just stole this one hope you don't mind)
The trouble with our liberal friends is not that they are ignorant,
it is just that they know so much that isn't so.
President Ronald Reagan
06-13-07, 02:56 AM #2Life is a succession of lessons which must be lived to be understood.
~ Ralph Waldo Emerson
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