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Thread: Bluenecks

  1. #1
    Tony's Avatar
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    Bluenecks

    A friend in the US sent me this coz I sent him some redneck jokes. I guess some of you can really relate to these!!!

    Blue Necks are Northerners -- the opposite of Rednecks. Because of Redneck jokes, here are some takes on how Southern folks look at Northerners (or how Northerners sometimes think of themselves).

    Instead of referring to two or more people as "Y'all," you call them "you guys," even if both of them are women.

    You think barbecue is a verb meaning "to cook outside."

    You think Heinz Ketchup is really SPICY.

    You would never stop to buy something somebody was cooking on the side of the road. (e.g., boiled peanuts)

    You don't have any problems pronouncing "Worcestershire sauce"
    correctly.

    For breakfast, you would prefer potatoes-au-gratin to grits.

    You don't know what a moon pie is.

    You've never had an RC Cola.

    You've never, ever eaten okra -- fried, boiled, or pickled.

    You eat fried chicken with a knife and fork.

    You've never seen a live chicken, and the only cows you've seen are on road trips.

    You have no idea what a polecat is.

    You don't see anything wrong with putting a sweater on your dog.

    You don't have bangs.

    You would rather have your son become a lawyer than grow up to get his own TV fishing show.

    You drink either "Pop" or "Soda"- instead of "Cokes."

    You've never eaten and don't know how to make a tomato sandwich.

    You have never planned your summer vacation around a gun-'n-knife show.

    You think more money should go to important .scientific research at your university than to pay the salary of the head football coach.

    You don't even have one can of WD-40 somewhere around the house.

    The last time you smiled was when you blocked someone from getting on an on-ramp to the highway.

    You don't have any hats in your closet that advertise feed stores.

    You have more than one professional sports team in your home state.

    You call binoculars opera glasses.

    You can't spit out the car window without pulling over to the side of the road and stopping.

    You don't know anyone with at least two first names (i.e., Jim Bob, Sue Ellen, Billy Ray, Mary Jo, Bubba Dean, Joe Dan, Mary Alice)

    You don't know any women with male names (i.e., Tommie, Bobbie, Johnnie, Jimmie)

    You don't have Mawmaw's & Pawpaw's.

    You get freaked out when people on the subway talk to you.

    None of your fur coats are homemade.

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    Jenna's Avatar
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    What I find amazing is how American culture has become so pervasive worldwide that an Australian can understand jokes about American regional cultures. Americans don't know about, much less understand, jokes about differences between the cultures of different regions of Australia. Do such jokes exist?

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    Quote Originally Posted by Jenna View Post
    What I find amazing is how American culture has become so pervasive worldwide that an Australian can understand jokes about American regional cultures. Americans don't know about, much less understand, jokes about differences between the cultures of different regions of. Do such jokes exist?
    I don't know if we had comics like Li'l Abner or a TV show like the Beverley Hillbillies.

    There's plenty of jokes about different UK areas and of course Welsh, Scottich and Irish jokes. Both you and the UK were settled by various nationalities, where we, for the 1st 150 years, were we mainly British.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Wombat650 View Post
    There's plenty of jokes about different UK areas and of course Welsh, Scottich and Irish jokes. Both you and the UK were settled by various nationalities, where we, for the 1st 150 years, were we mainly British.
    Wombat is right about the UK and our love of jokes - even if he did spell Scottish wrong! We'll rip it out of anyone given the opportunity!
    Never approach a bull by the front, a horse from behind, or an idiot from any direction.

 

 

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