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  1. #1
    Tony's Avatar
    Tony is offline Banned
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    Marriage Truisms?

    Marriage Truisms?

    You have two choices in life: You can stay single and be miserable, or get married and wish you were dead.

    At a cocktail party, one woman said to another, "Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?"
    "Yes, I am. I married the wrong man."


    A lady inserted an ad in the classifieds: "Husband Wanted". Next day she received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: "You can have mine."


    When a woman steals your husband, there is no better revenge than to let her keep him.


    A woman is incomplete until she is married. Then she is finished


    A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?" Father replied, "I don't know son, I'm still paying."


    A young son asked, "Is it true Dad that in some parts of Africa a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?" Dad replied, "That happens in every country, son."


    Then there was a woman who said, "I never knew what real happiness was until I got married, and by then, it was too late."


    Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.


    If you want your spouse to listen and pay strict attention to every word you say -- talk in your sleep.


    Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go through life thinking they had no faults at all.


    First guy says, "My wife's an angel!" Second guy remarks, "You're lucky, mine's still alive."


    Husband and wife are waiting at the bus stop with their nine children. A blind man joins them after a few minutes. When the bus arrives, they find it overloaded and only the wife and the nine kids are able to fit onto the bus.

    So the husband and the blind man decide to walk. After a while, the husband gets irritated by the ticking of the stick of the blind man as he taps it on the sidewalk, and says to him, "Why don't you put a piece of rubber at the end of your stick? That ticking sound is driving me crazy."

    The blind man replies, "If you would've put a rubber at the end of YOUR stick, we'd be riding the bus… so shut the hell up."

  2. #2
    conalabu is offline Grasshopper
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    That last one is hilarious.
    And Shepards we shall be,
    for thee, My Lord, for thee,
    Power hath descended forth from Thy hand,
    That our feet may swiftly carry out Thy Command.
    So we shall flow a river forth to Thee
    And teeming with souls will it ever be.
    In Nomine Patris, Et Filli, Et Spiritus Sancti.

  3. #3
    k-9max's Avatar
    k-9max is offline K9 Officer
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    hahah
    YEAH, IM THE BERRIES, AND CHERRIES IN YOUR REAR VIEW MIRROR.

    Handle every stressful situation like a dog.
    Eat it, Play with it, or piss on it, and walk away!

    As smart as man is, we haven't been able to invent a machine that can smell drugs or tell us where a person has walked,” Dogs are sophisticated investigative tools!

 

 

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