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  1. #1
    Tony's Avatar
    Tony is offline Banned
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    Jar of $10 bills

    I know, some people don't have a life, my mate broke his ankle at a bucks party. He's keeping himself amused by sending me these . . . .

    A guy walks into a bar and notices a very large jar on the counter and sees it's filled to the brim with $10 bills. The man guesses there must be thousands of dollars in it. He approaches the bartender and asks, "What's up with the jar?"

    Well, you pay ten dollars and, if you pass three tests, you get all the money." The man certainly isn't going to pass this up. "What are the three tests?

    "Pay first," says the bartender. "Those are the rules."

    So the man gives him the $10 and the bartender drops it into the jar.

    OK," the bartender says, "here's what you need to do. First you have to drink that entire gallon of pepper tequila... the whole thing, all at once... and you can't make a face while doing it.

    Second, there's a pit bull chained-up out back with a sore tooth. You have to remove the tooth with your bare hands.

    Third, there's a 90 year-old woman upstairs who has never reached orgasm during intercourse. You've gotta make things right for her." The man is stunned. "I know I paid my 10 bucks, but I'm not an idiot! I won't do it! You have to be nuts to drink a gallon of pepper tequila, and then do those other things .."

    "Your call," says the bartender, "but your money stays where it is."

    As time goes on and the man has a few drinks, then a few more, he asks "Where's zatteeqeelah?" He grabs the gallon with both hands and downs it with a big slurp. Tears are streaming down both cheeks, but he doesn't make a face.

    Next, he staggers out back where the pit bull is chained-up and soon all the people inside the bar hear a huge, noisy, scuffle going on outside. They hear the pit bull barking, the guy screaming, the pit bull yelping and then.... silence.

    Just when they think the man surely must be dead, he staggers back into the bar, with his shirt ripped and large, bloody scratches all over his body. "Now," he says, "where's the old woman with the sore tooth......"


    .

  2. #2
    k-9max's Avatar
    k-9max is offline K9 Officer
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    sick!
    YEAH, IM THE BERRIES, AND CHERRIES IN YOUR REAR VIEW MIRROR.

    Handle every stressful situation like a dog.
    Eat it, Play with it, or piss on it, and walk away!

    As smart as man is, we haven't been able to invent a machine that can smell drugs or tell us where a person has walked, Dogs are sophisticated investigative tools!

  3. #3
    iso607's Avatar
    iso607 is offline Sergeant
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    Good one.

  4. #4
    SANDMAN's Avatar
    SANDMAN is offline Master Officer
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    hahahaha. Very good
    If at first you don't succeed, then bomb disposal probably isn't for you.

    Never argue with an idiot. They will bring you down to there level and beat you on experience.

  5. #5
    Sapper_132's Avatar
    Sapper_132 is offline Master Turd Cutter
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    Just because your sign off after you're shift is done, doesn't mean that it's over and put blinders on. You're a cop 24/7 wether you like it or not. If thats something you can't handle, you should find a new line of work!

 

 

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