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  1. #1
    Tony's Avatar
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    Coffee Break . .

    Four cops were discussing how smart their dogs were.

    The first was a member of the Collision Reconstruction Unit, who said his dog could do geometry. His dog was named "Tee Square", and he told him to go to the blackboard, and draw a square, a circle, and a triangle, which the dog did with ease.

    The Fraud Squad member said he thought his dog was much better. His dog was named "Slide Rule". He told him to fetch a dozen biscuits, and divide them into four even piles, which Slide Rule did without problem.

    The Casino Squad member admitted that both were quite good, but he felt that his dog could outperform them. His dog was named "Measure", and he was told to go and get a stubby of beer, and pour seven ounces into a ten ounce glass. The dog did this without a flaw.

    They turned to the Gaming and Vice member, and said "What can your mongrel do?" The G & V called his dog, which was named "Coffee Break" and said to him "Show these guys what you can do."

    "Coffee Break" went over and ate the biscuits, drank the beer, pissed on the blackboard, humped the other three dogs, claimed he injured his back, and filed a worker's compensation form, then went on sick leave.

  2. #2
    Roses's Avatar
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    A Smile

    A smile cost nothing, but gives so much.

    It enriches those who receive it,
    without making poorer those who give.
    It takes but a moment, but the memory
    of it sometimes lasts forever.

    None is so rich or mighty that he
    can get along without it,
    and none is so poor but that
    he can be made rich by it.

    A smile creates happiness in the home,
    fosters goodwill in business,
    and is the countersign of friendship.

    It brings rest to the weary,
    cheer to the discouraged, sunshine to the sad,
    and it is nature's best antidote for trouble.

    Yet it cannot be bought, begged, borrowed,
    or stolen, for it is something that is of no
    value to anyone until it is given away.

    Some people are too tired to give you a smile.
    Give them one of yours, as none needs a smile
    so much as he who has no more to give.

    - author unknown

  3. #3
    countybear's Avatar
    countybear is offline BDRT - Baby Daddy Removal Team
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    "The American Republic will endure until the day Congress discovers that it can bribe the public with the public's money."
    - Alexis de Tocqueville, Democracy in America

    Tell me not, Sweet, I am unkind,
    That from the nunnery
    Of thy chaste breast and quiet mind
    To war and arms I fly.
    - Lovelace

    The opinions expressed by this poster are wholly his own, and should never be construed to even remotely be in representation of his employer, its agencies or assigns. In fact, they probably fail to be in alignment with the opinions of any rational human being.

  4. #4
    iso607's Avatar
    iso607 is offline Sergeant
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    Good one.



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