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Thread: "Eve"--- For the Ladies
06-19-07, 06:05 PM #1
"Eve"--- For the Ladies
Eve to God
God asks, "What's the problem, Eve?"
"I know that you created me and provided this beautiful garden and all of these wonderful animals, as well as that hilarious comedic snake, but I'm just not happy."
God replies, "And why is that, Eve?"
"Lord, I am lonely, and I'm sick to death of apples."
"Well, Eve, in that case, I have a solution. I shall create a man for you."
"Man? What is that, Lord?"
"Man is a flawed creature with many bad traits. He'll lie, cheat and be vain; all in all, he'll give you a hard time. But he'll be bigger, faster and will like to hunt and kill things I'll create him in such a way that he will satisfy your physical needs. He will be witless and will revel in childish things like fighting and kicking a ball about. He won't be as smart as you, so he will also need your advice to think properly."
"Sounds great," says Eve, with ironically raised eyebrows, "but what's the catch, Lord?"
"Well," says God... "you can have him on one condition."
"And what's that, Lord?"
"As I said, he'll be proud, arrogant and self absorbed, so you'll have to let him believe that I made him first. And it will have to be our little secret......... you know, woman to woman."Well Behaved Women Rarely Make History"
"All history becomes subjective; in other words there is properly no history, only biography."
06-19-07, 07:05 PM #2
blasphemous!!!No one has greater love than this, to lay down ones life for ones friends - John 15:13
"The Wicked Flee When No Man Pursueth: But The Righteous Are Bold As A Lion".
We lucky few, we band of brothers. For he who today sheds his blood with me shall be my brother.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~The opinions, beliefs, and ideas expressed in this post are mine, and mine alone. They are NOT the opinions, beliefs, ideas, or policies of my Agency, Police Chief, City Council, or any member of my department.
06-19-07, 08:03 PM #3
A smile cost nothing, but gives so much.
It enriches those who receive it,without making poorer those who give.It takes but a moment, but the memoryof it sometimes lasts forever.
None is so rich or mighty that hecan get along without it,and none is so poor but thathe can be made rich by it.
A smile creates happiness in the home,fosters goodwill in business,and is the countersign of friendship.
It brings rest to the weary,cheer to the discouraged, sunshine to the sad,and it is nature's best antidote for trouble.
Yet it cannot be bought, begged, borrowed,or stolen, for it is something that is of novalue to anyone until it is given away.
Some people are too tired to give you a smile.Give them one of yours, as none needs a smileso much as he who has no more to give.
- author unknown
06-19-07, 08:48 PM #4
Hilarious!Never approach a bull by the front, a horse from behind, or an idiot from any direction.
06-19-07, 09:44 PM #5
"The American Republic will endure until the day Congress discovers that it can bribe the public with the public's money."
- Alexis de Tocqueville, Democracy in America
Tell me not, Sweet, I am unkind,
That from the nunnery
Of thy chaste breast and quiet mind
To war and arms I fly. - Lovelace
The opinions expressed by this poster are wholly his own, and should never be construed to even remotely be in representation of his employer, its agencies or assigns. In fact, they probably fail to be in alignment with the opinions of any rational human being.
06-20-07, 12:08 AM #6
06-20-07, 12:40 AM #7
Hahaha! Good one!Life is a succession of lessons which must be lived to be understood.
~ Ralph Waldo Emerson
06-20-07, 07:45 AM #8
But that's just silly. I don't believe in God, but if I did He wouldn't be a woman!To be born an Englishman, is to be a winner in the Lottery of Life.
I've Talked the Talk and I've Walked the Walk, now I Sit the Sit!
It's not until you look at an Ant through a magnifying glass on a sunny day, that you realise just how often they burst into flames for no reason!
06-20-07, 08:00 AM #9
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