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Thread: Over 50
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06-22-07, 10:15 PM #1
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Over 50
Q: Where can women over the age of 50 find young, sexy men, who are interested in them?
A: Try a bookstore under fiction
Q: What can a man do while his wife is going through menopause?
A: Keep busy. If you're handy with tools, you can finish the basement.When you are done you will have a place to live.
Q How can you increase the heart rate of your 50+ year old husband?
A: Tell him you're pregnant.
Q: How can you avoid spotting a wrinkle every time you walk by a mirror?
A: The next time you're in front of a mirror, take off your glasses.
Q: Why should 50+ year old people use valet parking?
A: Valets don't forget where they park your car.
Q: Is it common for 50+ year olds to have problems with short term memory storage?
A: Storing memory is not a problem, retrieving it is a problem.
Q: As people age, do they sleep more soundly?
A: Yes, but usually in the afternoon.
Q: Where do 50+ year olds look for fashionable glasses?
A: Their foreheads.
Q: What is the most common remark made by 50+ year olds when they enter antique stores?
A: "I remember these"."Well Behaved Women Rarely Make History"
"All history becomes subjective; in other words there is properly no history, only biography."
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06-24-07, 06:27 AM #2
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I can laugh at these now, but not for too long.
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06-24-07, 07:46 AM #3
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COOL, i love those, some of them are true for over 44 year olds
Anger is like a glowing coal
hold on to it
you will get burnt.
unknown author
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06-24-07, 06:04 PM #4
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Originally Posted by RIMAMARIA
After a date at a bar, the lady gives her date an email address to write to her.
He looks at it, and frowns. :"I have never heard of this service, are you sure this is a real email address?"
He looks at the piece of paper again, and it reads
"getlost@you'ralooser.com"
-------------------------------------------Anger is like a glowing coal
hold on to it
you will get burnt.
unknown author
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06-24-07, 09:36 PM #5
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CIDP24,I thought of you as a contempoary,How dare you give away my ,uhhhh what the hell was I posting about again
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06-24-07, 11:02 PM #6
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All funny!
A Smile
A smile cost nothing, but gives so much.
It enriches those who receive it,without making poorer those who give.It takes but a moment, but the memoryof it sometimes lasts forever.
None is so rich or mighty that hecan get along without it,and none is so poor but thathe can be made rich by it.
A smile creates happiness in the home,fosters goodwill in business,and is the countersign of friendship.
It brings rest to the weary,cheer to the discouraged, sunshine to the sad,and it is nature's best antidote for trouble.
Yet it cannot be bought, begged, borrowed,or stolen, for it is something that is of novalue to anyone until it is given away.
Some people are too tired to give you a smile.Give them one of yours, as none needs a smileso much as he who has no more to give.
- author unknown
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06-25-07, 11:10 PM #7
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Hey, Mav, that wasnt me! Read again.
Originally Posted by mavriktu
CIDP24,I thought of you as a contempoary,How dare you give away my ,uhhhh what the hell was I posting about again
I refuse to get old.
*************************"It wouldn't take much for me to up and run...to another life somewhere in the sun."
*************************"There's something inherently wrong with having to put on a bullet-proof vest and a gun to go to work."-(An old friend)
Any statements or opinions given in my postings or profile do not reflect the opinions, views, policies, and/or procedures of my employer or anyone else other than me. They are my personal opinions or statements only, thereby releasing my employer , any other entity, or any other person of any liability or involvement in anything posted under the username "Cidp24" on O/R.
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