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Thread: Some cop and lawyer jokes
06-25-07, 04:08 AM #1
Some cop and lawyer jokes
These were sent to me, so I thought I'd share.
A police officer in a small town stopped a motorist who was speeding down Main Street. "But officer." the man began, "I can explain". "Just be quiet," snapped the officer. "I'm going to let you cool your heels in jail until the chief gets back..." "But officer, I just wanted to say...." "And I said to keep quiet! You're going to jail!" A few hours later the officer looked in on his prisoner and said, "Lucky for you that the chief is at his daughter's wedding. He'll be in a good mood when he gets back." "Don't count on it," answered the fellow in the cell. "I'm the groom."
What's the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline?
You take off your shoes to jump on a trampoline.
I'm sure YOU feel like doing this sometimes!!!!!
An officer witnessed a car slow and cruise through a stop sign. The officer proceeded to pull the car over. The driver, very irate, asked why he was pulled over. The trooper calmly explained "Sir, you failed to come to a complete stop at the stop sign back there." "What does it matter," the driver yells, "I looked both ways and there was no-one around. I demand that you tell me why I should have to come to a complete stop." The trooper then reached into the vehicle and pulled the driver out. He started beating him over the head with his nightstick. After a few seconds, the trooper calmly asked the driver, "Tell me, would you like me to SLOW DOWN or COME TO A COMPLETE STOP?".......
If you came upon a lawyer struggling in a raging river, and you had a choice between rescuing him, or taking a Pulitzer-prize-winning photograph, ............
...what shutter speed would you use?
An attorney was on his deathbed in the hospital. When a friend came to visit, he found the lawyer frantically leafing through the Bible. "What are you doing?" the visitor asked. The sick lawyer replied, "Looking for loopholes."
If a lawyer and an IRS agent were both drowning, and you could only save one of them, ......
.....would you go to lunch or read the paper?
06-26-07, 01:39 AM #2
Lawyer falls overboard in shark-infested waters. The sharks swarm, then they form a double-line and escort the lawyer back to the boat, where the crew pulls him aboards.
"That was a miracle!" says the captain.
"No," says the lawyer, "That was professional courtesy!"
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