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  1. #1
    Tony's Avatar
    Tony is offline Banned
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    Unhappy The Penis Wants a Raise

    The Penis Wants a Raise ~

    I, The Penis, hereby request a raise in salary for the following reasons:

    1. I do physical labor.

    2. I work at great depths.

    3. I plunge head first into everything I do.

    4. I do not get weekends or public holidays off.

    5. I work in a damp environment.

    6. I work in a dark area that has poor ventilation.

    7. I work in high temperatures.

    8. My work exposes me to diseases.


    Dear Penis,
    After assessing your request, and considering the arguments you have raised, the management denies your request for the following reasons:

    1. You do not work 8 hours straight.

    2. You WORK IN SHORT SPURTS AND fall asleep after EACH brief work period.

    3. You do not always follow the orders of the management team.

    4. You do not stay in your designated area, and are often seen visiting other locations.

    5. You do not take initiative - you need to be pressured and stimulated in order to start working.

    6. You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of your shift.

    7. You don't always observe necessary safety regulations, such as wearing the correct protective clothing.

    8. You will retire LONG before you are 65.

  2. #2
    Sapper_132's Avatar
    Sapper_132 is offline Master Turd Cutter
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    Just because your sign off after you're shift is done, doesn't mean that it's over and put blinders on. You're a cop 24/7 wether you like it or not. If thats something you can't handle, you should find a new line of work!

  3. #3
    OffDuty's Avatar
    OffDuty is offline The Shotgun is Family.
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    There are only two kinds of real justice left: street and poetic...

    Canada, huh? Almost made it...

    *DISCLAIMER*The opinions expressed here are my own delusions. My employer administraton would at best shake their heads and sigh; or at worst severely repudiate the content of these posts, should it ever manage to appear on their radar.



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