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  1. #1
    JLK's Avatar
    JLK is offline Protecting Those That Can't Protect Themselves
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    Modern technology

    Modern technology is great, isn't it?

    I bought a new 2007 Cadillac! The next day I was back at the dealer complaining that I couldn't figure out how the radio worked. The salesman explained that the radio was voice activated.

    "Watch this," he said. "Miller!" The Radio replied, "Glenn, Mitch or Steve?"

    "Glenn!" he continued and "Moonlight Serenade" came from the speakers.

    Then he said, "Ray Charles, and in an instant "Georgia On My Mind" replaced Glenn Miller.

    I drove away happy, and for the next few days, every time I'd say, "Beethoven," I'd get beautiful classical music, and if I said, "Beatles," I'd get one of their awesome songs.

    Yesterday, a couple ran a red light and nearly creamed my new car, but I swerved in time to avoid them. I yelled, "Assholes!"

    Immediately the French National Anthem began to play, sung by Jane Fonda and Barbara Streisand, backed up by Michael Moore and The Dixie Chicks, with John Kerry on guitar, Al Gore on drums, Dan Rather on
    harmonica, Barbara Pelosi on tambourine, Harry Reid on spoons, Bill Clinton on sax and Ted Kennedy on scotch.

    Damn, I LOVE this car!

    "A strong man stands up for himself. A stronger man stands up for others."

    The old sheriff was attending an awards dinner when a lady commented
    on his wearing his sidearm. "Sheriff, I see you have your pistol. Are you
    expecting trouble?" "No Ma'am. If I were expecting trouble, I would have
    brought my rifle."
    (just stole this one hope you don't mind)

    The trouble with our liberal friends is not that they are ignorant,
    it is just that they know so much that isn't so.
    President Ronald Reagan

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    iso607's Avatar
    iso607 is offline Sergeant
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