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  1. #1
    cougar is offline Banned
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    For the Ladies of LEF....

    On men!!!!!
    The Perfect Man
    Author Unknown

    The perfect man is gentle
    Never cruel or mean
    He has a beautiful smile
    And keeps his face so clean.

    The perfect man likes children
    And will raise them by your side
    He will be a good father
    As well as a good husband to his bride.

    The perfect man loves cooking
    Cleaning and vacuuming too
    He'll do anything in his power
    To convey his feelings of love for you.

    The perfect man is sweet
    Writing poetry from your name
    He's a best friend to your mother
    And kisses away your pain.

    He has never made you cry
    Or hurt you In any way
    Oh, screw this stupid poem
    The perfect man is gay.

    Submitted by Sandy

    ~~~~~

    Female Comebacks
    Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before?
    Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.

    Man: Is this seat empty?
    Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.

    Man: Your place or mine?
    Woman: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine.

    Man: So, what do you do for a living?
    Woman: I'm a female impersonator.

    Man: Hey baby, what's your sign?
    Woman: Do not enter.

    Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning?
    Woman: Unfertilized.

    Man: Your body is like a temple.
    Woman: Sorry, there are no services today.

    Man: I would go to the end of the world for you.
    Woman: But would you stay there?

    Submitted by SueCrave

    ~~

    Men are like a fine wine. They start out as grapes. It's our job to stomp them, and then keep them in the dark until they mature. And hopefully they'll turn out to be something we would like to have dinner with.

    I have more but that's enough for now!!!!!! LMAO!!!!!!!

  2. #2
    Terminator's Avatar
    Terminator is offline BANNED
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    The perfect man is me!

  3. #3
    cougar is offline Banned
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    Quote Originally Posted by Terminator View Post
    The perfect man is me!
    Oh REALLY?????????

  4. #4
    Roses's Avatar
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    Some of those were pretty good comebacks!

    LOL!
    http://img455.imageshack.us/img455/1369/rosekdrosetransp9fk2eb.gif

    A Smile

    A smile cost nothing, but gives so much.

    It enriches those who receive it,
    without making poorer those who give.
    It takes but a moment, but the memory
    of it sometimes lasts forever.

    None is so rich or mighty that he
    can get along without it,
    and none is so poor but that
    he can be made rich by it.

    A smile creates happiness in the home,
    fosters goodwill in business,
    and is the countersign of friendship.

    It brings rest to the weary,
    cheer to the discouraged, sunshine to the sad,
    and it is nature's best antidote for trouble.

    Yet it cannot be bought, begged, borrowed,
    or stolen, for it is something that is of no
    value to anyone until it is given away.

    Some people are too tired to give you a smile.
    Give them one of yours, as none needs a smile
    so much as he who has no more to give.

    - author unknown

  5. #5
    jrae Guest
    Quote Originally Posted by Terminator View Post
    The perfect man is me!
    Prove it, Term

  6. #6
    CTR man's Avatar
    CTR man is offline Officer First Class
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    Choose The Right. When you're doing whats right, then you have nothing to worry about.

    Not a LEO

    In memory of Sgt. Howard K. Stevenson 1965 - 2005. Ceres Police Dept.
    In memory of Robert N. Panos 1955 - 2008 Ceres Police Dept.









  7. #7
    KNR509's Avatar
    KNR509 is offline Often Intimated……but Never Duplicated!
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    Quote Originally Posted by CTR man View Post
    That’s so funny! I about choked on my pretzels. Good one.
    *A GIRL COP*


    In Loving Memory Officer Keith Houts

  8. #8
    cougar is offline Banned
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    Ladies, please enjoy "The Man Song", it's soooooo true!!!!!
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fj4vLZJhNEk

  9. #9
    conalabu is offline Grasshopper
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    Quote Originally Posted by jrae View Post
    Prove it, Term
    hahahahahhahahaha
    And Shepards we shall be,
    for thee, My Lord, for thee,
    Power hath descended forth from Thy hand,
    That our feet may swiftly carry out Thy Command.
    So we shall flow a river forth to Thee
    And teeming with souls will it ever be.
    In Nomine Patris, Et Filli, Et Spiritus Sancti.

  10. #10
    k-9max's Avatar
    k-9max is offline K9 Officer
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    "He has never made you cry
    Or hurt you In any way
    Oh, screw this stupid poem
    The perfect man is gay".



    Quote Originally Posted by Terminator View Post
    The perfect man is me!

    Holy freaken shit,

    Term, you finally admitted it!
    YEAH, IM THE BERRIES, AND CHERRIES IN YOUR REAR VIEW MIRROR.

    Handle every stressful situation like a dog.
    Eat it, Play with it, or piss on it, and walk away!

    As smart as man is, we haven't been able to invent a machine that can smell drugs or tell us where a person has walked,” Dogs are sophisticated investigative tools!

  11. #11
    conalabu is offline Grasshopper
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    Quote Originally Posted by k-9max View Post
    "He has never made you cry
    Or hurt you In any way
    Oh, screw this stupid poem
    The perfect man is gay".






    Holy freaken shit,

    Term, you finally admitted it!
    You gonna prove it now, big boy?
    And Shepards we shall be,
    for thee, My Lord, for thee,
    Power hath descended forth from Thy hand,
    That our feet may swiftly carry out Thy Command.
    So we shall flow a river forth to Thee
    And teeming with souls will it ever be.
    In Nomine Patris, Et Filli, Et Spiritus Sancti.

  12. #12
    Terminator's Avatar
    Terminator is offline BANNED
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    Talking

    I think this big boy proved beyond a reasonable doubt that he is the man, and that he's not gay, the other night.

    Got any comments for that, sweetheart?

  13. #13
    conalabu is offline Grasshopper
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    Quote Originally Posted by Terminator View Post
    I think this big boy proved beyond a reasonable doubt that he is the man, and that he's not gay, the other night.

    Got any comments for that, sweetheart?
    Nope.
    And Shepards we shall be,
    for thee, My Lord, for thee,
    Power hath descended forth from Thy hand,
    That our feet may swiftly carry out Thy Command.
    So we shall flow a river forth to Thee
    And teeming with souls will it ever be.
    In Nomine Patris, Et Filli, Et Spiritus Sancti.

  14. #14
    Terminator's Avatar
    Terminator is offline BANNED
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    Talking

    Quote Originally Posted by conalabu View Post
    Nope.
    Actually, I was referring to JRae, not you, but if it makes you feel good when I call you sweetheart, no problem.

  15. #15
    Terminator's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by k-9max View Post
    "He has never made you cry
    Or hurt you In any way
    Oh, screw this stupid poem
    The perfect man is gay".

    Holy freaken shit,

    Term, you finally admitted it!

    K-9Max,...K-9 Max, sure doesn't know how to get his facts
    I tried to tell him it's okay,..then he told me he was gay!

  16. #16
    cidp24a's Avatar
    cidp24a is offline Master Officer
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    Quote Originally Posted by Terminator View Post
    I think this big boy proved beyond a reasonable doubt that he is the man, and that he's not gay, the other night.

    Got any comments for that, sweetheart?
    Don't you prove you "are" the man and not gay every night ????

    My man does.......
    "Well Behaved Women Rarely Make History"



    "All history becomes subjective; in other words there is properly no history, only biography."

  17. #17
    Terminator's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by cidp24a View Post
    Don't you prove you "are" the man and not gay every night ????

    My man does.......

    And your "man" lives with you. My "woman" goes to college full-time, works, and lives 1.5 hours from me, while I work full-time as a cop, and run LEF, so you can make this post.

  18. #18
    CTR man's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Terminator View Post
    I think this big boy proved beyond a reasonable doubt that he is the man, and that he's not gay, the other night.
    Wait a minute, I'm . I thought RSA is the man. Maybe he just thinks he is.


    Choose The Right. When you're doing whats right, then you have nothing to worry about.

    Not a LEO

    In memory of Sgt. Howard K. Stevenson 1965 - 2005. Ceres Police Dept.
    In memory of Robert N. Panos 1955 - 2008 Ceres Police Dept.









 

 

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