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Thread: For the Ladies of LEF....
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07-15-07, 09:45 PM #1
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For the Ladies of LEF....
On men!!!!!
The Perfect Man
Author Unknown
The perfect man is gentle
Never cruel or mean
He has a beautiful smile
And keeps his face so clean.
The perfect man likes children
And will raise them by your side
He will be a good father
As well as a good husband to his bride.
The perfect man loves cooking
Cleaning and vacuuming too
He'll do anything in his power
To convey his feelings of love for you.
The perfect man is sweet
Writing poetry from your name
He's a best friend to your mother
And kisses away your pain.
He has never made you cry
Or hurt you In any way
Oh, screw this stupid poem
The perfect man is gay.
Submitted by Sandy
~~~~~
Female Comebacks
Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.
Man: Is this seat empty?
Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.
Man: Your place or mine?
Woman: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine.
Man: So, what do you do for a living?
Woman: I'm a female impersonator.
Man: Hey baby, what's your sign?
Woman: Do not enter.
Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning?
Woman: Unfertilized.
Man: Your body is like a temple.
Woman: Sorry, there are no services today.
Man: I would go to the end of the world for you.
Woman: But would you stay there?
Submitted by SueCrave
~~
Men are like a fine wine. They start out as grapes. It's our job to stomp them, and then keep them in the dark until they mature. And hopefully they'll turn out to be something we would like to have dinner with.
I have more but that's enough for now!!!!!! LMAO!!!!!!!
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07-15-07, 10:00 PM #2
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The perfect man is me!
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07-15-07, 10:04 PM #3
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Oh REALLY?????????
Originally Posted by Terminator
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07-15-07, 10:08 PM #4
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Some of those were pretty good comebacks!
LOL!
A Smile
A smile cost nothing, but gives so much.
It enriches those who receive it,without making poorer those who give.It takes but a moment, but the memoryof it sometimes lasts forever.
None is so rich or mighty that hecan get along without it,and none is so poor but thathe can be made rich by it.
A smile creates happiness in the home,fosters goodwill in business,and is the countersign of friendship.
It brings rest to the weary,cheer to the discouraged, sunshine to the sad,and it is nature's best antidote for trouble.
Yet it cannot be bought, begged, borrowed,or stolen, for it is something that is of novalue to anyone until it is given away.
Some people are too tired to give you a smile.Give them one of yours, as none needs a smileso much as he who has no more to give.
- author unknown
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07-15-07, 10:17 PM #5jrae GuestProve it, Term Originally Posted by Terminator
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07-15-07, 10:17 PM #6
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The Woman Song
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GpZcCpdFILY
Choose The Right. When you're doing whats right, then you have nothing to worry about.
Not a LEO
In memory of Sgt. Howard K. Stevenson 1965 - 2005. Ceres Police Dept.
In memory of Robert N. Panos 1955 - 2008 Ceres Police Dept.
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07-16-07, 06:01 AM #7
Often Intimated……but Never Duplicated!
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That’s so funny! I about choked on my pretzels. Good one. Originally Posted by CTR man
*A GIRL COP*
In Loving Memory Officer Keith Houts
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07-16-07, 01:20 PM #8
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Ladies, please enjoy "The Man Song", it's soooooo true!!!!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fj4vLZJhNEk
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07-16-07, 01:43 PM #9
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hahahahahhahahaha Originally Posted by jrae
Prove it, TermAnd Shepards we shall be,
for thee, My Lord, for thee,
Power hath descended forth from Thy hand,
That our feet may swiftly carry out Thy Command.
So we shall flow a river forth to Thee
And teeming with souls will it ever be.
In Nomine Patris, Et Filli, Et Spiritus Sancti.
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07-16-07, 01:49 PM #10
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"He has never made you cry
Or hurt you In any way
Oh, screw this stupid poem
The perfect man is gay".
Originally Posted by Terminator
Holy freaken shit,
Term, you finally admitted it!YEAH, IM THE BERRIES, AND CHERRIES IN YOUR REAR VIEW MIRROR.
Handle every stressful situation like a dog.
Eat it, Play with it, or piss on it, and walk away!
As smart as man is, we haven't been able to invent a machine that can smell drugs or tell us where a person has walked,” Dogs are sophisticated investigative tools!
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07-16-07, 01:52 PM #11
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You gonna prove it now, big boy? Originally Posted by k-9max
And Shepards we shall be,
for thee, My Lord, for thee,
Power hath descended forth from Thy hand,
That our feet may swiftly carry out Thy Command.
So we shall flow a river forth to Thee
And teeming with souls will it ever be.
In Nomine Patris, Et Filli, Et Spiritus Sancti.
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07-16-07, 02:16 PM #12
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I think this big boy proved beyond a reasonable doubt that he is the man, and that he's not gay, the other night.
Got any comments for that, sweetheart?
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07-16-07, 02:18 PM #13
Grasshopper
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Nope. Originally Posted by Terminator
I think this big boy proved beyond a reasonable doubt that he is the man, and that he's not gay, the other night.
Got any comments for that, sweetheart?And Shepards we shall be,
for thee, My Lord, for thee,
Power hath descended forth from Thy hand,
That our feet may swiftly carry out Thy Command.
So we shall flow a river forth to Thee
And teeming with souls will it ever be.
In Nomine Patris, Et Filli, Et Spiritus Sancti.
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07-16-07, 02:20 PM #14
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Actually, I was referring to JRae, not you, but if it makes you feel good when I call you sweetheart, no problem. Originally Posted by conalabu
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07-16-07, 02:24 PM #15
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Originally Posted by k-9max
K-9Max,...K-9 Max, sure doesn't know how to get his facts
I tried to tell him it's okay,..then he told me he was gay!
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07-16-07, 02:33 PM #16
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Don't you prove you "are" the man and not gay every night ???? Originally Posted by Terminator
I think this big boy proved beyond a reasonable doubt that he is the man, and that he's not gay, the other night.
Got any comments for that, sweetheart?
My man does......."Well Behaved Women Rarely Make History"
"All history becomes subjective; in other words there is properly no history, only biography."
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07-16-07, 02:42 PM #17
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Originally Posted by cidp24a
And your "man" lives with you. My "woman" goes to college full-time, works, and lives 1.5 hours from me, while I work full-time as a cop, and run LEF, so you can make this post.
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07-17-07, 12:31 AM #18
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Wait a minute, I'm Originally Posted by Terminator
I think this big boy proved beyond a reasonable doubt that he is the man, and that he's not gay, the other night. 
. I thought RSA is the man. Maybe he just thinks he is.
Choose The Right. When you're doing whats right, then you have nothing to worry about.
Not a LEO
In memory of Sgt. Howard K. Stevenson 1965 - 2005. Ceres Police Dept.
In memory of Robert N. Panos 1955 - 2008 Ceres Police Dept.
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