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Thread: A man and his sheep
07-28-07, 10:45 PM #1
A man and his sheep
A man and his sheep
A man buys several sheep, hoping to breed them for wool. After several weeks, he notices that none of the sheep are getting pregnant, and calls a veterinarian for help. The vet tells him that he should try artificial insemination.
The guy doesn't have the slightest idea what this means but, not wanting to display his ignorance, only asks the vet how he will know when the sheep are pregnant. The vet tells him that they will stop standing around and will instead lay down and wallow in the grass when they are pregnant.
The man hangs up and gives it some thought. He comes to the conclusion that artificial insemination means HE has to impregnate the sheep. So, he loads the sheep into his truck, drives them out into the woods, has sex with them all, brings them back and goes to bed.
Next morning, he wakes and looks out at the sheep. Seeing that they are all still standing around, he concludes that the first try didn't take, and loads them in the truck again.
He drives them out to the woods, bangs each sheep twice for good measure, brings them back and goes to bed. The next morning he wakes to find the sheep still just standing around.
One more try, he tells himself, and proceeds to load them up and drive them out to the woods. He spends all day shagging the sheep and, upon returning home, falls listlessly into bed.
The next morning, he cannot even raise himself from the bed to look at the sheep. He asks his wife to look out and tell him if the sheep are laying in the grass.
"No," she says, "they're all in the truck and one of them is honking the horn."Future Detective of The S.P.DPride Integrity Gratitude
07-28-07, 11:03 PM #2
07-29-07, 03:09 AM #3
Choose The Right. When you're doing whats right, then you have nothing to worry about.
Not a LEO
In memory of Sgt. Howard K. Stevenson 1965 - 2005. Ceres Police Dept.
In memory of Robert N. Panos 1955 - 2008 Ceres Police Dept.
07-29-07, 03:16 AM #4
Thats just wrong!!!! LOL
07-29-07, 03:37 AM #5
07-29-07, 04:16 AM #6
07-29-07, 05:01 AM #7
Searching for Evil and the Perfect donut (Love that book)
"It's not who you are underneath, but what you do that defines you"
There are gains for all our losses
There are balms for all our pain
But, when youth, the dream, departs
It takes something from our hearts
And it never comes again
"Captain, it is I Ensign Pulver. I just threw your damn palm tree overboard. Now, what's all this crap about no movie tonight?" -Ens Pulver in Mister Roberts
The man who will go where his colors go, without asking who will fight a phantom foe in the jungle and mountain range, without counting, and who will suffer and die in the midst of incredible hardship, without complaint, is still what he has always been, from Imperial Rome to sceptered Britain to democratic America. He is the stuff of which legions are made. ...His pride is in his colors and his regiment, his training hard and thorough and coldly realistic, to fit him for what he must face...and his obedience is to his orders. He has been called United State Marine.
T.R. Fehrenbach, This Kind of War
07-29-07, 05:59 AM #8
Jenna, if I were you, I'd change my avitar...quick!
07-29-07, 08:28 AM #9
Ha ha ha ha, poor Jenna, get out of the truck and off the horn!!!!! JK,
07-29-07, 09:04 AM #10
NSFW (attached images)"People too weak to follow their own dreams will always find a way to discourage yours!"
" A Society That Wages A War Against Its' Police, Had Better Learn To Make Friends With Its' Criminals."
07-30-07, 01:56 AM #11Future Detective of The S.P.DPride Integrity Gratitude
07-30-07, 02:02 AM #12
Ok, now that sh!t's funny.Do not war for peace. If you must war, war for justice. For without justice there is no peace. -me
We are who we choose to be.
R.I.P. Arielle. 08/20/2010-09/16/2012
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