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Thread: Deep Thoughts

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    BEK
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    Deep Thoughts

    ON DEEP THOUGHTS
    A day without sunshine is like night.

    ON HIGHER EDUCATION
    College is a fountain of knowledge...and the students are there to drink.

    ON MATHEMATICAL TRANSFORMS
    A polar bear is a rectangular bear after a coordinate transform.

    ON YOUTH
    "Some people say that I must be a horrible person, but that's not true. I have the heart of a young boy -- in a jar on my desk."
    -- Steven King, 3/8/90

    ON PROBLEM SOLVING
    When the only tool you own is a hammer, every problem begins to resemble a nail. -- Abraham Maslow

    ON MATERIALISM
    He who dies with the most toys, is, nonetheless, still dead.

    ON ECONOMICS
    The cost of living hasn't affected its popularity.

    ON PUBLISHING OR PERISHING
    I am returning this otherwise good typing paper to you because someone has printed gibberish all over it and put your name at the top. -- English Professor, Ohio University

    ON REVISIONIST HISTORY
    What was sliced bread the greatest thing since?

    ON DATING
    When aiming for the common denominator, be prepared for the occasional division by zero.

    ON LAMENTATION
    Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most.

    ON POETIC LOVE
    When you're swimmin' in the creek
    And an eel bites your cheek
    That's a Moray!
    -- Fabulous Furry Freak Brothers

    ON MODERNISM
    Q: How many surrealists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
    A: Two. One to hold the giraffe and the other to fill the bathtub with brightly colored machine tools.

    ON MATERIAL SCIENCE
    Character density: The number of very weird people in the office.

    ON EXTINCTION
    Save the whales. Collect the whole set.

    ON HUMILITY
    To err is human, to moo bovine.

    ON EXPLANATION OF THE END
    "... one of the main causes of the fall of the Roman Empire was that, lacking zero, they had no way to indicate successful termination of their C programs." -- Robert Firth

    ON PROPHECY
    The meek shall inherit the earth---they are too weak to refuse.

    ON NUMBERS
    Grabel's Law: 2 is not equal to 3---not even for very large values of 2.

    ON WORLD POLITICS
    Diplomacy is the art of saying "nice doggy" until you can find a rock.

    AND FINALLY, ON DRUGS AND DEVELOPMENT
    There are two major products to come out of Berkeley: LSD and UNIX. We don't believe this to be a coincidence.


  2. #2
    gozling's Avatar
    gozling is offline the gene pool could use a little chlorine
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    lol those were good....

    i have a few of my own i call fractured mother goose

    Little jack horner sat in a corner -- time out!

    Little bo peep lost more than her sheep when she waggled her tail behind her

    Old mother hubbard had no cupboard -- she was homeless

    Humpty dumpty sat on a wall
    Humpty dumpty had a great fall
    All the kings horses and all the kings men
    Couldnt put Humpty together again -- so they gave him prozac

    Jack and Jill went up the hill --- to get stoned

    Jack sprat could eat no fat -- so he died

    The age of innocence is gone, minnie mouse is wearing a thong...


    ok so be it a bit out there

    who else has some musings?
    http://www.allpoetry.com/Grunts%20Girl

    We dallied under
    Vine maples and sapling alders
    Searched for lady slippers
    But instead
    Found blackberry riots and
    Desiccated branches

    An old skid road
    Brought ghost ferns and
    Hollows filled with
    Skunk cabbage
    While waves wrapped
    Intricate lacings of weeds
    'Round mule spinners

    His cyanotic eyes
    Were hard enough to make
    The sun turn tail and
    Tender enough to attract me
    To his world of illusion

 

 

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