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  1. #1
    BEK's Avatar
    BEK
    BEK is offline Lieutenant
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    Strategic responses to the ever dangerous "Do I look Fat" question:

    Strategic responses to the ever dangerous "Do I look Fat" question:

    "No, not to Stevie Wonder."

    "Big time! That's why I'm sleeping with your best friend."

    "Does this tie make me look stupid?"

    "No hablo ingles."

    "Yes, but it also makes you look like a pricey hooker, so things kinda balance out."

    "If I answer that question, then the terrorists have won."

    "Okay, listen: What's important is that you not focus in a negative way on the comparison I am about to make."

    "Yes, but in my country obesity suggests prosperity."

    "Let me jog around to your front and take a look."

    "No, honey. But just to be safe, steer clear of one-legged sea captains."

    "Whoa! A talking couch!!"

    "May I consult the Iraqi Minister of Information before answering that?"


  2. #2
    keith720's Avatar
    keith720 is offline Finely Aged
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    How about, "With an ass that big, what's a couple extra pounds?"
    For the morning will come. Brightly will it shine on the brave and true, kindly upon all who suffer for the cause, glorious upon the tombs of heroes. Thus will shine the dawn.

    Winston Churchill

  3. #3
    MissMyCaprice's Avatar
    MissMyCaprice is offline Master Officer
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    My favorite is:
    "Do these pants make me look fat?"
    "No, honey, your ass makes you look fat."

  4. #4
    Buttercup's Avatar
    Buttercup is offline Thrives in sunshine
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    Quote Originally Posted by BEK View Post
    Strategic responses to the ever dangerous "Do I look Fat" question:

    "No, not to Stevie Wonder."

    "Big time! That's why I'm sleeping with your best friend."

    "Does this tie make me look stupid?"

    "No hablo ingles."

    "Yes, but it also makes you look like a pricey hooker, so things kinda balance out."

    "If I answer that question, then the terrorists have won."

    "Okay, listen: What's important is that you not focus in a negative way on the comparison I am about to make."

    "Yes, but in my country obesity suggests prosperity."

    "Let me jog around to your front and take a look."

    "No, honey. But just to be safe, steer clear of one-legged sea captains."

    "Whoa! A talking couch!!"

    "May I consult the Iraqi Minister of Information before answering that?"

    Hahaha!




  5. #5
    Ducky's Avatar
    Ducky is offline Enforcer General
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    Stomp once for yes, twice for no.
    \\
    ` ` ` ` < ` )___/\
    `` ` ` ` (3--(____)
    "...but to forget your duck, of course, means you're really screwed." - Gary Larson
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MtN1YnoL46Q


  6. #6
    deputysykes's Avatar
    deputysykes is offline Corporal
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    "Not as much as you did when you were pregnant."
    I'm not ruining your life, you are, and I'm just going to write a short story about it.

  7. #7
    kay88's Avatar
    kay88 is offline Sergeant
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    "No, honey. But we do need to get our house checked out for poltergeists because it can't be your ass making those things fall off the end tables."
    Life is a succession of lessons which must be lived to be understood.
    ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

  8. #8
    Donut Aficionado's Avatar
    Donut Aficionado is offline The Hillbilly Warlord
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    "yes, now get some exercise and bring me a beer"
    Insert witty comment and disclaimer here.

 

 

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