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08-08-07, 11:40 PM #1
Lieutenant
Verified LEO- Join Date
- 01-02-06
- Location
- Minnesota
- Posts
- 2,100
- Rep Power
- 3397396
Strategic responses to the ever dangerous "Do I look Fat" question:
Strategic responses to the ever dangerous "Do I look Fat" question:
"No, not to Stevie Wonder."
"Big time! That's why I'm sleeping with your best friend."
"Does this tie make me look stupid?"
"No hablo ingles."
"Yes, but it also makes you look like a pricey hooker, so things kinda balance out."
"If I answer that question, then the terrorists have won."
"Okay, listen: What's important is that you not focus in a negative way on the comparison I am about to make."
"Yes, but in my country obesity suggests prosperity."
"Let me jog around to your front and take a look."
"No, honey. But just to be safe, steer clear of one-legged sea captains."
"Whoa! A talking couch!!"
"May I consult the Iraqi Minister of Information before answering that?"
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08-09-07, 12:46 AM #2
Finely Aged
Supporting Member Lvl 1
Verified LEO
Site Moderator- Join Date
- 01-06-06
- Location
- Wisconsin
- Posts
- 4,817
- Rep Power
- 4678773
How about, "With an ass that big, what's a couple extra pounds?"
For the morning will come. Brightly will it shine on the brave and true, kindly upon all who suffer for the cause, glorious upon the tombs of heroes. Thus will shine the dawn.
Winston Churchill
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08-09-07, 01:42 AM #3
Master Officer
- Join Date
- 09-24-06
- Location
- Southeast WA State
- Posts
- 316
- Rep Power
- 68143
My favorite is:
"Do these pants make me look fat?"
"No, honey, your ass makes you look fat."
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08-09-07, 04:08 PM #4
Thrives in sunshine
Supporting Member Lvl 1- Join Date
- 04-29-06
- Location
- NJ
- Posts
- 17,740
- Rep Power
- 4119930
Originally Posted by BEK
Hahaha!
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08-09-07, 09:38 PM #5
Enforcer General
Supporting Member Lvl 3- Join Date
- 12-05-05
- Location
- Handbasket, enroute to somewhere hot.
- Posts
- 10,923
- Rep Power
- 7329368
Stomp once for yes, twice for no.
\\` ` ` ` < ` )___/\
`` ` ` ` (3--(____)
"...but to forget your duck, of course, means you're really screwed." - Gary Larson
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MtN1YnoL46Q
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08-10-07, 12:27 AM #6
Corporal
Verified LEO- Join Date
- 05-16-06
- Location
- Midwest US
- Posts
- 934
- Rep Power
- 295545
"Not as much as you did when you were pregnant."
I'm not ruining your life, you are, and I'm just going to write a short story about it.
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08-10-07, 12:43 AM #7
Sergeant
- Join Date
- 09-28-06
- Location
- New Ulm, MN
- Posts
- 1,689
- Rep Power
- 60347
"No, honey. But we do need to get our house checked out for poltergeists because it can't be your ass making those things fall off the end tables."
Life is a succession of lessons which must be lived to be understood.
~ Ralph Waldo Emerson
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08-10-07, 06:02 AM #8
The Hillbilly Warlord
Verified LEO- Join Date
- 01-02-06
- Location
- Limbo..please pray for me!
- Posts
- 794
- Rep Power
- 4329879
"yes, now get some exercise and bring me a beer"
Insert witty comment and disclaimer here.
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