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Thread: Office Dares

  1. #1
    Pretty Boring Civi's Avatar
    Pretty Boring Civi is offline Officer First Class
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    Office Dares

    Adapt to patrol vehicles as needed...

    ONE-POINT DARES
    1) Run one lap around the office at top speed.
    2) Ignore the first five people who say 'good morning' to you.
    3) Phone someone in the office you barely know, leave your name and say, "Just called to say I can't talk right now. Bye."
    4) To signal the end of a conversation, clamp your hands over your ears and grimace.
    5) While riding in an elevator, gasp dramatically every time the doors open.

    THREE-POINT DARES
    1) Say to your boss, "I like your style" and give him the double-barreled shotgun fingers.
    2) Babble incoherently at a fellow employee then ask, "Did you get all that, I don't want to have to repeat it."
    3) Page yourself over the intercom (do not disguise your voice).
    4) Kneel in front of the water cooler and drink directly from the nozzle (there must be a 'non-player' within sight).
    5) Shout random numbers while someone is counting.

    FIVE POINT DARES
    1) At the end of a meeting, suggest that, for once, it would be nice to conclude with the singing of the national anthem (5 extra points if you actually launch into it yourself).
    2) Walk into a very busy person's office and while they watch you with growing irritation, turn the light switch on/off 10 times.
    3) For an hour, refer to everyone you speak to as "Bob."
    4) After every sentence, say 'Mon' in a really bad Jamaican accent. As in "The report's on your desk, Mon." Keep this up for 1 hour.
    5) While an office mate is out, move their chair into the elevator.
    6) In a meeting or crowded situation, slap your forehead repeatedly and mutter, "Shut up, all of you just shut up!"
    7) In a colleague's DAY PLANNER, write in the 10 am slot: "See how I look in tights."(5 Extra points if it is a male, 5 more if it's your boss)
    8) Carry your keyboard over to to your colleague and ask, "You wanna trade?"
    9) Repeat the following conversation 10 times to the same person: "Do you hear that?" "What?" "Never mind, it's gone now."
    10) Come to work in army fatigues and when asked why, say, "I can't talk about it."
    11) Posing as a maitre d', call a colleague and tell him he's won a lunch for four at a local restaurant. Let him go.
    12) Speak with an accent (French, German, Porky Pig, etc) during a very important conference call.
    13) Find the vacuum and start vacuuming around your desk.
    14) Present meeting attendees with a cup of coffee and biscuits, smashing each biscuit with your fist.
    15) During the course of a meeting, slowly edge your chair towards the door.

  2. #2
    conalabu is offline Grasshopper
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    Heck, I do worse than that every day.
    And Shepards we shall be,
    for thee, My Lord, for thee,
    Power hath descended forth from Thy hand,
    That our feet may swiftly carry out Thy Command.
    So we shall flow a river forth to Thee
    And teeming with souls will it ever be.
    In Nomine Patris, Et Filli, Et Spiritus Sancti.

  3. #3
    lewisipso's Avatar
    lewisipso is offline Injustice/Indifference/In God we trust
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    1. Confront, fight and arrest a city council member
    2. Conduct a traffic stop on a loud music offender. Arrest said offender. Take pocket knife, cut out offenders stereo equipment (all of it) and tag it as evidence.
    3. Drive through someone's driveway and into their backyard to join the foot pursuit.
    4. Have lunch.
    5. Agree when your Chief calls the Mayor an idiot. To his face.
    6. Direct traffic in front of a large landmark (like the Superdome) and when someone pulls up and asks where it is, look at them with a straight face and tell them 2 blocks down and take a left.
    7. Slimjim your Chiefs vehicle when its running and turn up the heat (in the Summer) the siren, police and good time radio.
    8. Make shift change and go home.
    Do not war for peace. If you must war, war for justice. For without justice there is no peace. -me

    We are who we choose to be.

    R.I.P. Arielle. 08/20/2010-09/16/2012


  4. #4
    Cidp24's Avatar
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    I didn't see an MRE bomb reference anywhere in there Lew.
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  5. #5
    Pretty Boring Civi's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by lewisipso View Post
    1. Confront, fight and arrest a city council member
    2. Conduct a traffic stop on a loud music offender. Arrest said offender. Take pocket knife, cut out offenders stereo equipment (all of it) and tag it as evidence.
    3. Drive through someone's driveway and into their backyard to join the foot pursuit.
    4. Have lunch.
    5. Agree when your Chief calls the Mayor an idiot. To his face.
    6. Direct traffic in front of a large landmark (like the Superdome) and when someone pulls up and asks where it is, look at them with a straight face and tell them 2 blocks down and take a left.
    7. Slimjim your Chiefs vehicle when its running and turn up the heat (in the Summer) the siren, police and good time radio.
    8. Make shift change and go home.
    OK, you have the better list.

  6. #6
    Cidp24's Avatar
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    1 Roll a bowling ball down the center of a main roadway by dropping it out of your patrol car window.

    2 Find a recently roadkilled HUGE beaver, sit it up with a beer can and a cigarette, have a picture made with it.

    3 Go to a nearby closed airport and drag race with officers from other agencies.

    4 Put a for sale sign in the Chiefs front yard about once a month

    5 Have a watermelon shooting contest to see who's round will do the most damage

    6 Get all three patrol cars on duty stuck on a backroad, call another agency for a ride back to the station to get a 4wd truck to pull them out.

    7 Park 3 patrol cars inside a building under construction because you want to BS a while and it's raining.

    (Disclaimer: The author has NEVER participated in or witnessed any of the above listed activities and he is only relaying legends heard from others over the years.)
    *************************
    "It wouldn't take much for me to up and run...
    to another life somewhere in the sun."
    *************************
    "There's something inherently wrong with having to put on a bullet-proof vest and a gun to go to work."-(An old friend)


    Any statements or opinions given in my postings or profile do not reflect the opinions, views, policies, and/or procedures of my employer or anyone else other than me. They are my personal opinions or statements only, thereby releasing my employer , any other entity, or any other person of any liability or involvement in anything posted under the username "Cidp24" on O/R.

  7. #7
    Pretty Boring Civi's Avatar
    Pretty Boring Civi is offline Officer First Class
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    Do you guys do any actual work? Be honest!

  8. #8
    lewisipso's Avatar
    lewisipso is offline Injustice/Indifference/In God we trust
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cidp24 View Post
    1 Roll a bowling ball down the center of a main roadway by dropping it out of your patrol car window.

    2 Find a recently roadkilled HUGE beaver, sit it up with a beer can and a cigarette, have a picture made with it.


    (Disclaimer: The author has NEVER participated in or witnessed any of the above listed activities and he is only relaying legends heard from others over the years.)

    1. Ok that's funny as hell

    2. Did that with an armadillo

    Disclaimer= my ass!
    Do not war for peace. If you must war, war for justice. For without justice there is no peace. -me

    We are who we choose to be.

    R.I.P. Arielle. 08/20/2010-09/16/2012


  9. #9
    lewisipso's Avatar
    lewisipso is offline Injustice/Indifference/In God we trust
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pretty Boring Civi View Post
    Do you guys do any actual work? Be honest!
    Yep! But even the best criminals run and hide every once in a while. And there is NOTHING more mischievious than a cop with nothing to do.
    Do not war for peace. If you must war, war for justice. For without justice there is no peace. -me

    We are who we choose to be.

    R.I.P. Arielle. 08/20/2010-09/16/2012


  10. #10
    213th's Avatar
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    Not that I participated in this...

    Various deceased animals in someone's rack (usually if they are a blue falcon). More funny when they are sleeping in the rack at the time.

    Find an unsecured fire truck and place the head of you or your buddie's freshly harvested deer in the front seat...in a Victoria's Secret bag. (Beware, if it is below freezing, the fire department may retaliate by flooding the sandbag DFP that you are supposed to tear down in the morning)

    Both happened on a deployment to the mid-west states at one point in time.
    He who has the money, signs the cheques.
    He who signs the cheques, makes the rules.
    He who makes the rules, has the power.
    He who has the power, has the money.

  11. #11
    lewisipso's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cidp24 View Post
    I didn't see an MRE bomb reference anywhere in there Lew.
    Yep. You are correct sir. Forgot that one.
    Do not war for peace. If you must war, war for justice. For without justice there is no peace. -me

    We are who we choose to be.

    R.I.P. Arielle. 08/20/2010-09/16/2012


  12. #12
    SaraJ is offline Banned
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    How bout take a fellow officer out for a birthday drink. Get him totally drunk, take all his clothes but his motorcyle boots, put him in a straight jacket, leave him in the center of the town at 3 o'clock in the morning.

  13. #13
    Cidp24's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SaraJ View Post
    How bout take a fellow officer out for a birthday drink. Get him totally drunk, take all his clothes but his motorcyle boots, put him in a straight jacket, leave him in the center of the town at 3 o'clock in the morning.

    Someone would be eligible for a killing after that one!
    *************************
    "It wouldn't take much for me to up and run...
    to another life somewhere in the sun."
    *************************
    "There's something inherently wrong with having to put on a bullet-proof vest and a gun to go to work."-(An old friend)


    Any statements or opinions given in my postings or profile do not reflect the opinions, views, policies, and/or procedures of my employer or anyone else other than me. They are my personal opinions or statements only, thereby releasing my employer , any other entity, or any other person of any liability or involvement in anything posted under the username "Cidp24" on O/R.

  14. #14
    SaraJ is offline Banned
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cidp24 View Post
    Someone would be eligible for a killing after that one!
    What a Coincidence!! That's exactly how Jordy (the guy in the story) felt.

    But you sorta have to hear the rest of it.

    See, this was in 1971. The town had a population of 37,000 and was a bedroom community of San Francisco. They rolled up the sidewalks at 9:00 and closed the streets at 9:30, figuratively speaking. There were 3 guys on patrol at the time. The idea was that one of the guys would find Jordy and give him a ride home. But the game backfired when Jordy woke up and got out of the straight jacket. He hid behind a telephone booth until one of the patrol cars came along then jumped out in front of it thus causing a rookie officer to practically succumb to a fatal heart attack. But he made it home. Didn't have his keys, so he just kicked in the door. Inside there about a dozen people, some Berkeley PD, SFPD and Oakland PD along with a few girlfriends. The initiators of the prank took one look at Jordy and figured out pretty fast that he was a wee bit upset. So they whistled for the second part of his birthday present, that being Jordy's girlfriend in a black cat's mask, black tasseled pasties, black G-string, black spike heel sandals. Once he saw her he calmed down and got all excited at the same time. It can be done. By morning, he couldn't remember much of the first part of the evening. End of story.

  15. #15
    conalabu is offline Grasshopper
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    Quote Originally Posted by SaraJ View Post
    What a Coincidence!! That's exactly how Jordy (the guy in the story) felt.

    But you sorta have to hear the rest of it.

    See, this was in 1971. The town had a population of 37,000 and was a bedroom community of San Francisco. They rolled up the sidewalks at 9:00 and closed the streets at 9:30, figuratively speaking. There were 3 guys on patrol at the time. The idea was that one of the guys would find Jordy and give him a ride home. But the game backfired when Jordy woke up and got out of the straight jacket. He hid behind a telephone booth until one of the patrol cars came along then jumped out in front of it thus causing a rookie officer to practically succumb to a fatal heart attack. But he made it home. Didn't have his keys, so he just kicked in the door. Inside there about a dozen people, some Berkeley PD, SFPD and Oakland PD along with a few girlfriends. The initiators of the prank took one look at Jordy and figured out pretty fast that he was a wee bit upset. So they whistled for the second part of his birthday present, that being Jordy's girlfriend in a black cat's mask, black tasseled pasties, black G-string, black spike heel sandals. Once he saw her he calmed down and got all excited at the same time. It can be done. By morning, he couldn't remember much of the first part of the evening. End of story.

    Do you still have that outfit?
    And Shepards we shall be,
    for thee, My Lord, for thee,
    Power hath descended forth from Thy hand,
    That our feet may swiftly carry out Thy Command.
    So we shall flow a river forth to Thee
    And teeming with souls will it ever be.
    In Nomine Patris, Et Filli, Et Spiritus Sancti.

  16. #16
    SaraJ is offline Banned
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    Yeah, but I've gained a little weight since then. Just doesn't have the same effect anymore.

  17. #17
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    During an election year,
    get a 4x8' campaign sign of the Sheriff's competition and cement it to the Sheriff's front lawn.


    If a co-worker gets injured, has a baby, etc. bring them dead flowers stuck inside an empty beer can along with a recycled card. Better if the recycled card is from another occasion (birthday card recycled for get well).

    While a coworker is on vacation spread lime on their lawn spelling out some secret of theirs.
    "An Unarmed man can only flee from evil, and evil is not overcome by fleeing from it." Jeff Cooper


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  18. #18
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cidp24 View Post
    1 Roll a bowling ball down the center of a main roadway by dropping it out of your patrol car window.

    2 Find a recently roadkilled HUGE beaver, sit it up with a beer can and a cigarette, have a picture made with it.

    3 Go to a nearby closed airport and drag race with officers from other agencies.

    4 Put a for sale sign in the Chiefs front yard about once a month

    5 Have a watermelon shooting contest to see who's round will do the most damage

    6 Get all three patrol cars on duty stuck on a backroad, call another agency for a ride back to the station to get a 4wd truck to pull them out.

    7 Park 3 patrol cars inside a building under construction because you want to BS a while and it's raining.

    (Disclaimer: The author has NEVER participated in or witnessed any of the above listed activities and he is only relaying legends heard from others over the years.)

    Thats awsome.
    dlefdal said:
    Ummmm, what if I don't like thumbs in my butt?

  19. #19
    Bosco3379's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by lewisipso View Post
    1. Confront, fight and arrest a city council member
    2. Conduct a traffic stop on a loud music offender. Arrest said offender. Take pocket knife, cut out offenders stereo equipment (all of it) and tag it as evidence.
    3. Drive through someone's driveway and into their backyard to join the foot pursuit.
    4. Have lunch.
    5. Agree when your Chief calls the Mayor an idiot. To his face.
    6. Direct traffic in front of a large landmark (like the Superdome) and when someone pulls up and asks where it is, look at them with a straight face and tell them 2 blocks down and take a left.
    7. Slimjim your Chiefs vehicle when its running and turn up the heat (in the Summer) the siren, police and good time radio.
    8. Make shift change and go home.
    Quote Originally Posted by Cidp24 View Post
    1 Roll a bowling ball down the center of a main roadway by dropping it out of your patrol car window.

    2 Find a recently roadkilled HUGE beaver, sit it up with a beer can and a cigarette, have a picture made with it.

    3 Go to a nearby closed airport and drag race with officers from other agencies.

    4 Put a for sale sign in the Chiefs front yard about once a month

    5 Have a watermelon shooting contest to see who's round will do the most damage

    6 Get all three patrol cars on duty stuck on a backroad, call another agency for a ride back to the station to get a 4wd truck to pull them out.

    7 Park 3 patrol cars inside a building under construction because you want to BS a while and it's raining.

    (Disclaimer: The author has NEVER participated in or witnessed any of the above listed activities and he is only relaying legends heard from others over the years.)

    Former member of the LNC

    Will take verbal abuse for spare change

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  20. #20
    allykitty84 is offline Officer First Class
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    From a Dispatcher:

    1. Play ping pong with a rubber frog and a tin top to a cookie canister in dispatch.

    2. Play random movie quotes over the intercom throughout the police department.

    3. At 3am perform a "roll call" over the radio with all officers including yourself at HQ.

    4. Have a "Beach Day" where you wear your regular clothes along with arm floaties, a duck or frog waist floatie and sunblock on your nose.

    5. Start screaming and throwing stuff (phonebook, plastic bottle, post-it note pad, newspaper, etc) at the patrol supervisor.

    6. Refer to each other by code names. (ex. Puma Johnston)

    7. Scare the piss out of each other on ANY occasion.

 

 
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