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  1. #1
    Willowdared's Avatar
    Willowdared is offline Bendy not Breaky
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    Customer Service

    Customer: "I've been calling 700-1000 for two days and can't get through; can you help?"

    Operator: "Where did you get that number, sir?"

    Customer: "It's on the door of your business. "

    Operator: "Sir, those are the hours that we are open."

    ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ +++++++++

    Samsung Electronics

    Caller: "Can you give me the telephone number for Jack?"

    Operator: "I'm sorry, sir, I don't understand who you are talking about."

    Caller: "On page 1, section 5, of the user guide it clearly states that I need to unplug the fax machine from the AC wall socket and telephone Jack before cleaning. Now, can you give me the number for Jack?"

    Operator: "I think it means the telephone plug on the wall."


    RAC Motoring Services

    Caller: "Does your European Breakdown Policy cover me when I am traveling in Australia?"

    Operator: "Does the product name give you a clue?"

    -------- --------------------------------------------------------------

    Caller (enquiring about legal requirements while traveling in Europe)

    "If I register my car in France, and then take it to England, do I have to change the steering wheel to the other side of the car?"


    Directory Enquiries

    Caller: "I'd like the number of the Argo Fish Bar, please"

    Operator: "I'm sorry, there's no listing. Are you sure that the spelling is correct?"

    Caller: "Well, it used to be called the Bargo Fish Bar but the 'B' fell off."


    Then there was the caller who asked for a knitwear company in Woven.

    Operator: "Woven? Are you sure?"

    Caller: "Yes. That's what it says on the label -- Woven in Scotland."

    --------------------------------------------- ------ -------------------

    On another occasion, a man making heavy breathing sounds from a phone box told a worried operator:

    "I haven't got a pen, so I'm steaming up the window to write the number on."


    Tech Support: "I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop."

    Customer: "OK."

    Tech Support: "Did you get a pop-up menu?"

    Custo mer: "No."

    Tech Support: "OK. Right-Click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?"

    Customer: "No."

    Tech Support: "OK, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this point?"

    Customer: "Sure. You told me to write 'click' and I wrote 'click'."


    Tech Support: "OK. ;At the bottom left hand side of your screen, can you see the 'OK' button displayed?"

    Customer: "Wow! How can you see my screen from there?"


    Caller: "I deleted a file from my PC last week and I just realized that I need it. So, if I turn my system clock back two weeks will I get my file back again?"


    This has to be one of the funniest things in a long time. I think this guy should have been promoted, not fired. This is a true story from the WordPerfect Helpline, which was transcribed from a recording monitoring the customer care department. Needless to say the Help Desk employee was fired; however, he/she is currently suing the WordPerfect organization for "Termination without Cause."

    Actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee.

    (Now I know why they record these conversations!):

    Operator: "Ridge Hall, computer assistance; may I help you?"

    Caller: "Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect."

    Operator: "What sort of trouble??"

    Caller: "Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away."

    Operator: "Went away?"

    Caller: "They disappeared."

    Operator: "Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?"

    Caller: "Nothing."

    Operator: "Nothing??"

    Caller: "It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type."

    Operator: "Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out??"

    Caller: " How do I tell?"

    Operator: "Can you see the 'C: prompt' on the screen??"

    Caller: "What's a sea-prompt?"

    Operator: "Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen?"

    Caller: "There isn't any cursor; I told you, it won't accept anything I type."

    Operator: "Does your monitor have a power indicator??"

    Caller: "What's a monitor?"

    Operator: "It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on??"

    Caller: "I don't know."

    Operator: "Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that??"

    Caller: "Yes, I think so."

    Operator: "Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into the wall.

    Caller: "Yes, it is."

    Operator: "When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one??"

    Caller: "No."

    Operator: "Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable."

    Caller: "Okay, here it is."

    Operator: "Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of your computer."

    Caller: "I can't reach."

    Operator: "OK. Well, can you see if it is??"

    Caller: "No"

    Operator: "Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over??"

    Caller: "Well, it's not because I don't have the right angle -- it's because it's dark."

    Operator: "Dark??"

    Caller: "Yes - the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window."

    Operator: "Well, turn on the office light then."

    Caller: "I can't."

    Operator: "No? Why not??"

    Caller: "Because there's a power failure."

    Operator: "A power .... A power failure? Aha. Okay, we've got it licked now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff that your computer came in??"

    Caller: "Well, yes, I keep them in the closet."

    Operator: "Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from."

    Caller: "Really? Is it that bad?"

    Operator: "Yes, I'm afraid it is."

    Caller: "Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them??"

    Operator: "Tell them you're too stupid to own a computer!!!"
    Molly Weasley makes Chuck Norris eat his vegetables.

    Do not puff, shade, skew, tailor, firm up, stretch, massage,
    or otherwise distort statements of fact.
    FBI Special Agent Coleen Rowley

  2. #2
    TacticalII's Avatar
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  3. #3
    SaraJ is offline Banned
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    I do sympathize with the person with the right/write click problem. When I was learning the computer (still am, for that matter) the guy told me to "click outside" and I turned around the see if the window was open.

  4. #4
    Elle's Avatar
    Elle is offline Banned
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    Quote Originally Posted by SaraJ View Post
    I do sympathize with the person with the right/write click problem. When I was learning the computer (still am, for that matter) the guy told me to "click outside" and I turned around the see if the window was open.

    When I worked at Staples we had computer monitors on sale, 17'' and 19'', a customer called and asked me what the difference between the two was. I should of been a smartass and told him "Two inches." but I bit my tongue and asked if he meant the difference in price.



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