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  1. #1
    gopherpuckfan's Avatar
    gopherpuckfan is offline I'm from the government and I'm here to help
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    Thumbs down Worst Joke Thread Ever

    Just as the title suggests...post the worst jokes you have ever heard. No Cinco de Mayo though

    I heard this from a buddy of mine a few years ago...

    "What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor?"
    "Where's my tractor?"
    The views expressed in the above post are the sole opinion of the author and do not reflect any official position by the author's employer and/or municipality.

  2. #2
    Michelle's Avatar
    Michelle is offline Civilian
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    How do you catch a rabbit?

    Go behind a bush and act like a carrot.

  3. #3
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    Two tv antennas met and fell in love, the decided to get married.

    The wedding sucked but the reception was great.
    Thereís a promise I need you to make
    While Iím gone you take care of the love
    And Iíll deal with the hate.

    Donít worry about me; Iíll be all right
    Just care for your children and sleep tight
    Iíll keep you safe on my watch tonight
    ~
    On My Watch Tonight - Mike Corrado

  4. #4
    Tony's Avatar
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    Horse walks into a pub and the barman says, "Why the long face?"

  5. #5
    Buttercup's Avatar
    Buttercup is offline Thrives in sunshine
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    If there were 4 potatoes in a room, which one's a prostitute?


    The one that's labeled "IDAHO"




  6. #6
    Hannibal's Avatar
    Hannibal is offline Zombie Killin' Sheepdog
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    Anything Lazy Fed said

    "Stupid should hurt."

  7. #7
    Tony's Avatar
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    What's ET short for?










    He's only got little legs!

  8. #8
    Tony's Avatar
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    Whats worse than finding 10 babies in a bin?








    Finding 1 baby in 10 bins

  9. #9
    Tony's Avatar
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    What do Gordon the Gopher and Thomas the Tank-Engine have in common?













    they have the same middle name

  10. #10
    Tony's Avatar
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    Whats green, got six legs, and if it fell from a tree it would kill you?

















    a snooker table

  11. #11
    Tony's Avatar
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    Why did the cow moo?











    Because it's a cow

  12. #12
    Tony's Avatar
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    Why did the elephant fall out of the tree?



    Because it was dead




    Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?





    Because it was glued to the elephant

  13. #13
    Tony's Avatar
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    How do you make a cat go woof?








    Cover it in petrol and throw a match ~

    WOOF

  14. #14
    Tony's Avatar
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    What do you call a Frenchman in sandles?








    Phillipe Filop

  15. #15
    Cidp24's Avatar
    Cidp24 is offline Tempus Fugit
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    If athletes get athlete's foot, what do astronauts get?

    Missle Toe
    *************************
    "It wouldn't take much for me to up and run...
    to another life somewhere in the sun."
    *************************
    "There's something inherently wrong with having to put on a bullet-proof vest and a gun to go to work."-(An old friend)


    Any statements or opinions given in my postings or profile do not reflect the opinions, views, policies, and/or procedures of my employer or anyone else other than me. They are my personal opinions or statements only, thereby releasing my employer , any other entity, or any other person of any liability or involvement in anything posted under the username "Cidp24" on O/R.

  16. #16
    Tony's Avatar
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    Two Aussies are sitting in a bar, one starts to insult the other one.

    He screams, "I slept with your mother!"

    The bar goes quiet as everyone listens to see what the other Aussie will do.

    The first again yells, "I SLEPT WITH YOUR MOTHER!"

    The other says, "Go home dad youíre drunk."

  17. #17
    Buttercup's Avatar
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    Did you hear that they crossed a Malamute and a Pointer?
    The new breed is a Moot Point, owned by....oh, well, it doesn't really matter.




  18. #18
    Tony's Avatar
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    An egg and a bit of bacon in the frying pan.
    Egg says "Jeez, it's bloody hot in here, eh?"
    Bacon says "**ck me, a talking egg!"

  19. #19
    Tony's Avatar
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    Guy walks into a bakery.
    "A loaf of bread please."
    "White or whole wheat?"
    "Yes."
    "Yes what?"
    "Yes mister baker sir."

  20. #20
    Tony's Avatar
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    Two prostitutes standing on a street corner. A Police car goes past, and one turns to the other and asks "Have you ever been picked up by the fuzz?"
    "Nah", the other one replies, "but I have been swung round by the t*ts..."

 

 
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