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Thread: Laugh for LEF Ladies
09-14-07, 08:13 AM #1
Laugh for LEF Ladies
POWER OUTAGE DURING A MAMMOGRAM
I actually kept my mammogram appointment. I was met
with, "Hi! I'm Belinda!" This perky clipboard carrier smiled from ear
to ear, tilted her head to one side and crooned, "All I need you to do
is step into this room right hereee, strip to the waist, then slip on
I'm thinking, "Belinda, try decaf. This ain't rocket
Belinda skipped away to prepare the chamber of horrors.
With the right side finished, Belinda flipped me (literally) to the left
and said, "Hmmmm. Can you stand on your tippy toes and lean in a tad so
we can get everything?'
Fine, I answered. I was freezing, bruised, and out of
air, so why not use the remaining circulation in my legs and neck and
finish me off?
My body was in a holding pattern that defied gravity
(with my other boob wedged between those two 4 inch pieces of square
glass) when we
heard, then felt a zap! Complete darkness and the power
went off! "Oh, maintenance is working. Bet they hit a snag." Belinda
headed for the door.
"Excuse me! You're not leaving me in this vise alone
are you?" I shouted.
Belinda kept going and said, "Oh, you fussy puppy...
the door's wide open so you'll have the emergency hall lights. I'll be
Before I could shout "NOOOO!" she disappeared. And
that's exactly how Bubba and Earl, maintenance men extraordinaire, found
me, half-naked and part of me dangling from the Jaws of Life and the
other part smashed between glass!
After exchanging polite "Hi, how's it going" type
greetings, Bubba (or possibly Earl) asked, to my utter disbelief, if I
knew the power was off.
Trying to disguise my hysteria, I replied with as much
calmness as possible "Uh, yes, yes I did thanks."
"You bet, take care" Bubba replied and waved good-bye as
though I'd been standing in the line at the grocery store.
Two hours later, Belinda breezes in wearing a sheepish
grin and making no attempt to suppress her amusement, she said, "Oh I am
sooo sorry!" The power came back on and I totally forgot about you! And
silly me, I went to lunch. Are we upset?"
And that, Your Honor, is exactly how her head ended up
between the clamps...
Note: Ladies October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month...Belinda is waiting to get her hands OOps I mean see you
09-14-07, 08:20 AM #21*girl Guest
09-14-07, 02:04 PM #3
my part time job is as an xray tech. fortunately, they don't want males smashing tits...
I'm sending this to a friend who works mamms. When I go to visit I wonder if she's going to squish my head?
Searching for Evil and the Perfect donut (Love that book)
"It's not who you are underneath, but what you do that defines you"
There are gains for all our losses
There are balms for all our pain
But, when youth, the dream, departs
It takes something from our hearts
And it never comes again
"Captain, it is I Ensign Pulver. I just threw your damn palm tree overboard. Now, what's all this crap about no movie tonight?" -Ens Pulver in Mister Roberts
The man who will go where his colors go, without asking who will fight a phantom foe in the jungle and mountain range, without counting, and who will suffer and die in the midst of incredible hardship, without complaint, is still what he has always been, from Imperial Rome to sceptered Britain to democratic America. He is the stuff of which legions are made. ...His pride is in his colors and his regiment, his training hard and thorough and coldly realistic, to fit him for what he must face...and his obedience is to his orders. He has been called United State Marine.
T.R. Fehrenbach, This Kind of War
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09-14-07, 02:51 PM #5Banned
- Join Date
- Aguascalients, Mexico
- Rep Power
I've never had one, don't plan on changing that situation. LOL
09-14-07, 03:30 PM #6
09-14-07, 06:00 PM #7
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