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  1. #1
    dapples's Avatar
    dapples is offline Swamp Kitty
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    Laugh for LEF Ladies

    POWER OUTAGE DURING A MAMMOGRAM

    I actually kept my mammogram appointment. I was met
    with, "Hi! I'm Belinda!" This perky clipboard carrier smiled from ear
    to ear, tilted her head to one side and crooned, "All I need you to do
    is step into this room right hereee, strip to the waist, then slip on
    this gown.

    Everything clearrrr?

    I'm thinking, "Belinda, try decaf. This ain't rocket
    science."

    Belinda skipped away to prepare the chamber of horrors.
    With the right side finished, Belinda flipped me (literally) to the left
    and said, "Hmmmm. Can you stand on your tippy toes and lean in a tad so
    we can get everything?'

    Fine, I answered. I was freezing, bruised, and out of
    air, so why not use the remaining circulation in my legs and neck and
    finish me off?

    My body was in a holding pattern that defied gravity
    (with my other boob wedged between those two 4 inch pieces of square
    glass) when we

    heard, then felt a zap! Complete darkness and the power
    went off! "Oh, maintenance is working. Bet they hit a snag." Belinda
    headed for the door.

    "Excuse me! You're not leaving me in this vise alone
    are you?" I shouted.

    Belinda kept going and said, "Oh, you fussy puppy...
    the door's wide open so you'll have the emergency hall lights. I'll be
    rightttt backkk."

    Before I could shout "NOOOO!" she disappeared. And
    that's exactly how Bubba and Earl, maintenance men extraordinaire, found
    me, half-naked and part of me dangling from the Jaws of Life and the
    other part smashed between glass!

    After exchanging polite "Hi, how's it going" type
    greetings, Bubba (or possibly Earl) asked, to my utter disbelief, if I
    knew the power was off.

    Trying to disguise my hysteria, I replied with as much
    calmness as possible "Uh, yes, yes I did thanks."

    "You bet, take care" Bubba replied and waved good-bye as
    though I'd been standing in the line at the grocery store.

    Two hours later, Belinda breezes in wearing a sheepish
    grin and making no attempt to suppress her amusement, she said, "Oh I am
    sooo sorry!" The power came back on and I totally forgot about you! And
    silly me, I went to lunch. Are we upset?"

    And that, Your Honor, is exactly how her head ended up
    between the clamps...


    Note: Ladies October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month...Belinda is waiting to get her hands OOps I mean see you

  2. #2
    1*girl Guest
    LOL!

  3. #3
    pc830cop's Avatar
    pc830cop is offline Just another squirrel looking for a NUT
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    my part time job is as an xray tech. fortunately, they don't want males smashing tits...

    I'm sending this to a friend who works mamms. When I go to visit I wonder if she's going to squish my head?


    Searching for Evil and the Perfect donut (Love that book)

    "It's not who you are underneath, but what you do that defines you"
    -Batman Begins

    There are gains for all our losses
    There are balms for all our pain
    But, when youth, the dream, departs
    It takes something from our hearts
    And it never comes again

    "Captain, it is I Ensign Pulver. I just threw your damn palm tree overboard. Now, what's all this crap about no movie tonight?" -Ens Pulver in Mister Roberts

    The man who will go where his colors go, without asking who will fight a phantom foe in the jungle and mountain range, without counting, and who will suffer and die in the midst of incredible hardship, without complaint, is still what he has always been, from Imperial Rome to sceptered Britain to democratic America. He is the stuff of which legions are made. ...His pride is in his colors and his regiment, his training hard and thorough and coldly realistic, to fit him for what he must face...and his obedience is to his orders. He has been called United State Marine.
    T.R. Fehrenbach, This Kind of War

  4. #4
    Pudge's Avatar
    Pudge is online now Site Admin
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    Quote Originally Posted by pc830cop View Post
    my part time job is as an xray tech. fortunately, they don't want males smashing tits...

    I'm sending this to a friend who works mamms. When I go to visit I wonder if she's going to squish my head?

    You just get the man cans??
    "Like" us on facebook! https://www.facebook.com/pages/Offic...93147194083228

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    The opinions given in my posts & threads DO NOT reflect the opinions, views, policies, and/or procedures of my employing agency. They are my personal opinions only, thereby releasing my agency of any liability, or involvement in anything posted under the username "Pudge" on Officerresource.com

  5. #5
    SaraJ is offline Banned
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    I've never had one, don't plan on changing that situation. LOL

  6. #6
    Buttercup's Avatar
    Buttercup is offline Thrives in sunshine
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    Quote Originally Posted by SaraJ View Post
    I've never had one, don't plan on changing that situation. LOL
    You should.




  7. #7
    kjlaw's Avatar
    kjlaw is offline Swamp Mafia Proud!!!
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    funny
    Lead from the front and always remember those who came first.



    Capt. Ocativo "OX" Gonzalez
    EOW 6/16/06


    Always remember that a casket is hotter than your vest.

    Quote Originally Posted by conalabu View Post
    Soon the whole world will be in the hands of the Swamp Mafia.

 

 

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