Laugh for LEF Ladies

**dapples** · 09-14-07, 08:13 AM

POWER OUTAGE DURING A MAMMOGRAM

I actually kept my mammogram appointment. I was met
with, "Hi! I'm Belinda!" This perky clipboard carrier smiled from ear
to ear, tilted her head to one side and crooned, "All I need you to do
is step into this room right hereee, strip to the waist, then slip on
this gown.

Everything clearrrr?

I'm thinking, "Belinda, try decaf. This ain't rocket
science."

Belinda skipped away to prepare the chamber of horrors.
With the right side finished, Belinda flipped me (literally) to the left
and said, "Hmmmm. Can you stand on your tippy toes and lean in a tad so
we can get everything?'

Fine, I answered. I was freezing, bruised, and out of
air, so why not use the remaining circulation in my legs and neck and
finish me off?

My body was in a holding pattern that defied gravity
(with my other boob wedged between those two 4 inch pieces of square
glass) when we

heard, then felt a zap! Complete darkness and the power
went off! "Oh, maintenance is working. Bet they hit a snag." Belinda
headed for the door.

"Excuse me! You're not leaving me in this vise alone
are you?" I shouted.

Belinda kept going and said, "Oh, you fussy puppy...
the door's wide open so you'll have the emergency hall lights. I'll be
rightttt backkk."

Before I could shout "NOOOO!" she disappeared. And
that's exactly how Bubba and Earl, maintenance men extraordinaire, found
me, half-naked and part of me dangling from the Jaws of Life and the
other part smashed between glass!

After exchanging polite "Hi, how's it going" type
greetings, Bubba (or possibly Earl) asked, to my utter disbelief, if I
knew the power was off.

Trying to disguise my hysteria, I replied with as much
calmness as possible "Uh, yes, yes I did thanks."

"You bet, take care" Bubba replied and waved good-bye as
though I'd been standing in the line at the grocery store.

Two hours later, Belinda breezes in wearing a sheepish
grin and making no attempt to suppress her amusement, she said, "Oh I am
sooo sorry!" The power came back on and I totally forgot about you! And
silly me, I went to lunch. Are we upset?"

And that, Your Honor, is exactly how her head ended up
between the clamps...

Note: Ladies October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month...Belinda is waiting to get her hands OOps I mean see you