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  1. #1
    PapaBear's Avatar
    PapaBear is offline SgtCHP-Retired
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    Best Comeback To Date!!!

    >In summary, the police arrested Patrick Lawrence, 22 year old white
    >male, in a pumpkin patch 11:38 p.m. on Friday night.
    >
    >On Monday, at the Gwinnett County (GA) courthouse, Lawrence was charged
    >with lewd and lascivious behavior, public indecency, and public
    >intoxication.
    >
    >The suspect explained that as he was passing a pumpkin patch on his way
    >home from a drinking session when he decided to stop, "You know how a
    >pumpkin is soft and squishy inside, and there was no one around for
    >miles or at least I thought there wasn't anyone around" he stated in a
    >telephone interview.
    >
    >Lawrence went on to say that he pulled over to the side of the road,
    >picked out a pumpkin that he felt was appropriate to his purpose, cut
    >a hole in it, and proceeded to satisfy his alleged 'need.' "Guess I
    >was really into it, you know?" he commented with evident embarrassment.
    >
    >In the process of doing the deed, Lawrence failed to notice an
    >approaching police car and was unaware of his audience until officer
    >Brenda Taylor approached him.
    >
    >"It was an unusual situation, that's for sure," said officer Taylor.
    >
    >"I walked up to Lawrence and he's just banging away at this pumpkin."
    >
    >Officer Taylor went on to describe what happened when she approached
    >Lawrence.
    >
    >"I said, "Excuse me sir, but do you realize that you're having sex with
    >a pumpkin?"
    >
    >He froze and was clearly very surprised that I was there, and then he
    >looked me straight in the face and said...
    >
    >"A pumpkin? Shit...is it midnight already?"
    Be courteous to all, but intimate with few, and let those few be well tried before you give them your confidence.
    [George Washington (1732 - 1799)]


  2. #2
    1*girl Guest
    Lol...

  3. #3
    mfranklin01's Avatar
    mfranklin01 is offline its not vendication...its punishment
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    rofl
    "Be Polite, be professional, but have a plan to kill everyone you meet"

  4. #4
    Just KC's Avatar
    Just KC is offline Who?......Me?
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    Haha!!
    **********************
    ~Karie

    "I used to care
    but now I take a pill for that"

  5. #5
    mack's Avatar
    mack is offline Officer Resource Offical Auctioneer
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    haa haa haa haa ROTFLMAO Now that! is funny

    My dad, I miss him every day.

    Originally Posted by Wolven
    Life is too short to wear unsexy underwear.


    I am a female!!!!! LMAO

    Be who you are and say what you feel.....
    Because those that matter...don't mind...
    And those that mind...don't matter

  6. #6
    armsmaster270's Avatar
    armsmaster270 is offline Ret. Sac. P.D. - 270th M.P. Co., Now with D.H.S.
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    Reminds me of a guy I caught one night with a Saint Bernard. You might say his date was a real dog.


    Pretty women make us BUY beer. Ugly women make us DRINK beer. --Al Bundy

    http://www.armsmaster.net-a.googlepages.com

  7. #7
    Five-0's Avatar
    Five-0 is offline Super Moderator
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    That was great. If I'm laughing that hard there is no way I can do any paperwork.

    Meanwhile, fishing in Russia:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SkzV5AIK8iM
    "When plunder becomes a way of life for a group of men living together in society, they create for themselves in the course of time a legal system that authorizes it and a moral code that justifies it." -- Frederic Bastiat

    "Certainly there is no hunting like the hunting of man and those who have hunted armed men long enough and liked it, never really care for anything else thereafter." Ernest Hemingway

    The opinions given in my signatures & threads DO NOT reflect the opinions, views, policies, and/or procedures of my employing agency. They are my personal opinions only, thereby releasing my agency of any liability, or involvement in anything posted under the username "Five-0" on Officerresource.com

 

 

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