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  1. #1
    dapples's Avatar
    dapples is offline Swamp Kitty
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    Bubba the Mortician

    A man who just died is delivered to a Louisiana mortuary wearing an expensive, expertly tailored black suit. Bubba the mortician asks the deceased's wife how she would like the body dressed. He points out that the man does look very good in the black suit he is already wearing.

    The widow however, says that she always thought her husband looked his best in blue, and that she wants him in a blue suit. She gives Bubba a blank check and says, I don't care what it costs, but please have my husband in a blue suit for the viewing.'

    The woman returns the next day for the viewing. To her delight she finds her husband dressed in a gorgeous blue suit with a subtle chalk stripe; the suit fits him perfectly. She says to Bubba, 'Whatever the cost, I'm very satisfied. You d id an excellent job and I'm very grateful. How much did you spend?'

    To her astonishment, Bubba presents her with the blank check. 'Dere's no charge,' he says.

    'No, really, I must pay you for the cost of that exquisite blue suit!' she
    says. 'Honestly, ma'am,' Bubba says, 'it didn't cost me a thing.

    You see, a deceased gentleman of about your husband's size was brought in shortly after you left yesterday, and he was wearing an attractive blue suit. I asked his missus if she minded him going to his grave wearing a black suit instead, and she said it made no difference as long as he looked nice.'


    'So, I just switched the heads.

  2. #2
    Pudge's Avatar
    Pudge is online now Site Admin
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    Oh that's just wrong. LOL
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  3. #3
    dapples's Avatar
    dapples is offline Swamp Kitty
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pudge113 View Post
    Oh that's just wrong. LOL

  4. #4
    keith720's Avatar
    keith720 is offline Finely Aged
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    Someday I'll share the story of the 2 Gay morticians......
    For the morning will come. Brightly will it shine on the brave and true, kindly upon all who suffer for the cause, glorious upon the tombs of heroes. Thus will shine the dawn.

    Winston Churchill

  5. #5
    Ducky's Avatar
    Ducky is offline Enforcer General
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    Quote Originally Posted by keith720 View Post
    Someday I'll share the story of the 2 Gay morticians......
    That's even more wrong
    \\
    ` ` ` ` < ` )___/\
    `` ` ` ` (3--(____)
    "...but to forget your duck, of course, means you're really screwed." - Gary Larson
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MtN1YnoL46Q


  6. #6
    dapples's Avatar
    dapples is offline Swamp Kitty
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    Quote Originally Posted by keith720 View Post
    Someday I'll share the story of the 2 Gay morticians......
    tease

  7. #7
    mfranklin01's Avatar
    mfranklin01 is offline its not vendication...its punishment
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    "Be Polite, be professional, but have a plan to kill everyone you meet"

  8. #8
    mack's Avatar
    mack is offline Officer Resource Offical Auctioneer
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    Yes, that is wrong, funny as hell, but wrong

    My dad, I miss him every day.

    Originally Posted by Wolven
    Life is too short to wear unsexy underwear.


    I am a female!!!!! LMAO

    Be who you are and say what you feel.....
    Because those that matter...don't mind...
    And those that mind...don't matter

  9. #9
    armsmaster270's Avatar
    armsmaster270 is offline Ret. Sac. P.D. - 270th M.P. Co., Now with D.H.S.
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    If I laugh any harder I can't breathe.


    Pretty women make us BUY beer. Ugly women make us DRINK beer. --Al Bundy

    http://www.armsmaster.net-a.googlepages.com

  10. #10
    keith720's Avatar
    keith720 is offline Finely Aged
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    What did one Gay mortician say to the other Gay mortician?

    Let's go to the morgue after work and suck down a couple of cold, stiff one's!

    I KNOW IT"S WRONG!!! SOMETIMES I JUST CAN"T HELP MYSELF!
    For the morning will come. Brightly will it shine on the brave and true, kindly upon all who suffer for the cause, glorious upon the tombs of heroes. Thus will shine the dawn.

    Winston Churchill

  11. #11
    kjlaw's Avatar
    kjlaw is offline Swamp Mafia Proud!!!
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    Daps you and Keith are both so wrong.
    Lead from the front and always remember those who came first.



    Capt. Ocativo "OX" Gonzalez
    EOW 6/16/06


    Always remember that a casket is hotter than your vest.

    Quote Originally Posted by conalabu View Post
    Soon the whole world will be in the hands of the Swamp Mafia.

  12. #12
    k-9max's Avatar
    k-9max is offline K9 Officer
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    Thats messed up.

    Ok, this brings up a good point.

    Soooo, is it really true!!!

    Is that how you swamp mafia people really work.
    If this is the case, im sorry for every bad thing i said about you stink mafia, i mean swamp mafia people.
    YEAH, IM THE BERRIES, AND CHERRIES IN YOUR REAR VIEW MIRROR.

    Handle every stressful situation like a dog.
    Eat it, Play with it, or piss on it, and walk away!

    As smart as man is, we haven't been able to invent a machine that can smell drugs or tell us where a person has walked, Dogs are sophisticated investigative tools!

  13. #13
    dapples's Avatar
    dapples is offline Swamp Kitty
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    Quote Originally Posted by keith720 View Post
    What did one Gay mortician say to the other Gay mortician?

    Let's go to the morgue after work and suck down a couple of cold, stiff one's
    I KNOW IT"S WRONG!!! SOMETIMES I JUST CAN"T HELP MYSELF!
    Now THAT one is wrong

  14. #14
    dapples's Avatar
    dapples is offline Swamp Kitty
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    Is that how you swamp mafia people really work.


    My lips are sealed

  15. #15
    keith720's Avatar
    keith720 is offline Finely Aged
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    Did ya hear about the guy whose Dr. told him he had a month to live? He asked the Doc, "Is there anything I can do?" "Well," said the Doc, if I were you. I'd join a fancy health club and go there twice a day for a mud bath." "That'll help?" the guy asked. "Nah," said the Doc, "it'll just get you used to being covered with dirt."
    For the morning will come. Brightly will it shine on the brave and true, kindly upon all who suffer for the cause, glorious upon the tombs of heroes. Thus will shine the dawn.

    Winston Churchill

  16. #16
    dapples's Avatar
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  17. #17
    perdure's Avatar
    perdure is offline ON THE ROAD TO HAPPINE..... (Under Construction)
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    If you ain't living on the edge, you're taking up too much room.


 

 

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