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10-20-07, 09:17 AM #1
A guy is hanging out in his favorite bar when he spots a fabulous babe walking in on the arm of some ugly man. He asks the bartender about her and is surprised to discover that she's a prostitute. He watches her for the rest of the night amazed that someone so attractive could be available to him. The next night he goes back to the bar, and sure enough she shows up again, only this time ... she's alone. The guy gets up his nerve and approaches her. "Is it true you're a prostitute?"
"Why, sure, big boy. What can I do for you?"
"Well, I dunno. What do you charge?"
"I get $100 just for a handjob. We can negotiate from there."
"$100!! For a handjob? Are you nuts?"
"You see the Ferrari out there?" The guy looks out the front door, and sure enough there's a shiny new Ferrari parked outside.
"I paid cash for that Ferrari with the money I made on handjobs. "Trust me, it's worth it."
The guy mulls it over for a while, and decides what the hell. He leaves with her, and gets the most unbelievable experience he's ever had. This handjob was better than any complete sexual experience in his miserable life.
The next night he's back at the bar, waiting eagerly for her to show up. When she does, he immediately approaches her. "Last night was incredible!"
"Of course it was. Just wait till you try one of my blowjobs."
"How much is that?"
"$500!! C'mon, that's ridiculous!"
"You see that apartment building across the street?" The guy looks out front at a 12 story apartment building.
"I paid cash for that building with the money I made on blowjobs. Trust me, it's worth it."
Based on the night before, the guy decides to go for it. He leaves with her, and once again is not disappointed. He nearly faints - twice. The next night he can hardly contain himself until she shows up.
"I'm hooked, you're the best! Tell me, what'll it cost me for some pussy?"
She motions for him to follow her outside. She points down the street, where between the buildings he can see Manhattan.
"You see that island?"
"Aw, c'mon! You cant mean that!"
She nods her head. "You bet. If I had a pussy, I'd own Manhattan!!""People too weak to follow their own dreams will always find a way to discourage yours!"
" A Society That Wages A War Against Its' Police, Had Better Learn To Make Friends With Its' Criminals."
10-20-07, 09:21 AM #2GrasshopperVerified LEO
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You are a sick, sick boy.And Shepards we shall be,
for thee, My Lord, for thee,
Power hath descended forth from Thy hand,
That our feet may swiftly carry out Thy Command.
So we shall flow a river forth to Thee
And teeming with souls will it ever be.
In Nomine Patris, Et Filli, Et Spiritus Sancti.
10-20-07, 08:22 PM #3\\` ` ` ` < ` )___/\
`` ` ` ` (3--(____)
"...but to forget your duck, of course, means you're really screwed." - Gary Larson
10-20-07, 09:02 PM #4
Yes, indeed....very sick....but also very funny!
Car 4I would like my country back. I used to believe that one man could never destroy this country. Not so sure anymore!
10-20-07, 11:44 PM #5Never be afraid to do what's right, especially if the well-being of a person or animal is at stake. Society's punishments are small compared to the wounds we inflict on our soul when we look the other way" ~Martin Luther King, Jr
10-21-07, 03:12 AM #6
Aw face it we are all a little sick that's why we enjoy those jokes.
Pretty women make us BUY beer. Ugly women make us DRINK beer. --Al Bundy
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