Southern Drawl Words Translated

[BEK]

The Association of Southern Schools has decided to pursue some of the seemingly endless taxpayer dollar pipeline through Washington designating Southern slang, or y'allbonics, as a language to be taught in all Southern schools.

The following are excerpts from the Y'allbonics/English dictionary:


HEIDI - (noun) -Greeting.

HIRE YEW - Complete sentence. Remainder of greeting. Usage "Heidi, Hire yew?"

BARD - (verb) - Past tense of the infinitive "to borrow. "Usage "My brother bard my pickup truck."

JAWJUH - (noun) - The State north of Florida. Capitol is Lanner. Usage "My brother from Jawjuh bard my pickup truck."

BAMMER - (noun) - The State west of Jawjuh. Capitol is Berminhayum. Usage "A tornader jes went through Bammer an' left $20,000,000 in improvements."

MUNTS - (noun) - A calendar division. Usage "My brother from Jawjuh bard my pickup truck, and I ain't herd from him in munts."

THANK - (verb) - Cognitive process. Usage "Ah thank ah'll have a bare."

BARE - (noun) - An alcoholic beverage made of barley, hops, and yeast. Usage "Ah thank ah'll have a bare."

IGNERT - (adjective) - Not smart. See "Arkansas native." Usage "Them bammer boys sure are ignert!"

RANCH - (noun) - A tool used for tight'nin' bolts. Usage "I thank I left my ranch in the back of that pickup truck my brother from Jawjuh bard a few munts ago."

ALL - (noun) - A petroleum-based lubricant. Usage "I sure hope my brother from Jawjuh puts all in my pickup truck."

FAR - (noun) - A conflagration. Usage "If my brother from Jawjuh don't change the all in my pickup truck, that thing's gonna catch far."

TAR - (noun) - A rubber wheel. Usage "Gee, I hope that brother of mine from Jawjuh don't git a flat tar in my pickup truck."

TIRE - (noun) - A tall monument. Usage "Lord willin' and the creek don't rise, I sure do hope to see that Eiffel Tire in Paris sometime."

RETARD - (verb) - To stop working. Usage "My grampaw retard at age 65."

FAT - (noun), (verb) -- a battle or combat; to engage in battle or combat. Usage "You younguns keep fat'n, n' ah'm gonna whup y'uh."

RATS - (noun) - Entitled power or privilege. Usage "We Southerners are willin' to fat for are rats."

CHEER - (adverb) In this place. Usage "Just set that bare rat cheer."

FARN - (adjective) - Not domestic. Usage "I cuddint unnerstand a wurd he sed ... must be from some farn country."

DID - (adjective) - Not alive. Usage "He's did, Jim."

ARE - (noun) - A colorless, odorless gas Oxygen. Usage "He cain't breathe...give 'im some ARE!"

BOB WAR - (noun) - A sharp, twisted cable. Usage "Boy, stay away from that bob war fence."

JEW HERE - (noun) and (verb) contraction. Usage "Jew here that my brother from Jawjuh got a job with that bob war fence cump'ny?"

HAZE - a contraction. Usage "Is Bubba smart?" "Nah...haze ignert. He ain't thanked but a minnit'n 'is laf."
SEED - (verb) -- past tense of "to see".

VIEW - contraction (verb) and pronoun. Usage "I ain't never seed New York City ... view?"

GUBMINT - (noun) - A bureaucratic institution. Usage "Them gubmint boys shore is ignert."

[keith720]

I like "Ad Hoc:" "Ad hoc me up a lugee if'n I had some terbakky!"

[Norm357]

I have lived in the South all my life and I know of no one who talks like that.

Must be a poor attempt by a yankee to make a joke.

[hush29]

Most of my family lives in Texas and Louisiana. Now i just need to print that out and use it as a guide so i can understand them from now on.

[Terminator]

HAHA...so true. It's a language in and of itself. Though I will say in Norm's defense that it's not as bad in the big metro cities down south, as opposed to the small and medium sized city's.

[mack]

I have to thank you. As I am moving to Texas in less than a month, this will help greatly in understanding some of my neighbors I am sure. As a Boston transplant to South Florida, I now have a Boston accent with a mixture of Floridan. By next year imagine how mixed up I will sound with a Boston-Florida-Texas accent. I will be so confused!!!

[lewisipso]

Heyyyy...careful. I resemble some of those remarks.

[oldtrooper]

Lewisipso

Same here, and as my old grandaddy used to say " The most frightening sight to a native Southerner is a Yankee headed South pulling a U-Haul trailer. We have to take into consideration that playing with words is how they spend their time indoors from now to next March.

I attended a school with a deputy from Fargo, ND sometime back and the poor fellow thought fire ant beds were prairie dog mounds. He had an entire new look on life after we isnstructed him to press on one with his foot.

That reminds me of a speeding citation I was attempting to write to a gentelman from the FAR NORTH and he was really running his mouth. Hardly took time to get a breath between bitching about the southern speed traps, he was doing over 90 mph. I was to the point of introducing him to the judge when I noticed he had put his foot in one of our fire ant beds. Well you know what happened in about 10 seconds. When he finished jumping around and slapping fire ants off his foot and leg he demanded to know why I had not warned him. My response was "my old mama always told me, never interrupt anyone while they were talking".

[mack]

Lewisipso

Same here, and as my old grandaddy used to say " The most frightening sight to a native Southerner is a Yankee headed South pulling a U-Haul trailer. We have to take into consideration that playing with words is how they spend their time indoors from now to next March.

I attended a school with a deputy from Fargo, ND sometime back and the poor fellow thought fire ant beds were prairie dog mounds. He had an entire new look on life after we isnstructed him to press on one with his foot.

That reminds me of a speeding citation I was attempting to write to a gentelman from the FAR NORTH and he was really running his mouth. Hardly took time to get a breath between bitching about the southern speed traps, he was doing over 90 mph. I was to the point of introducing him to the judge when I noticed he had put his foot in one of our fire ant beds. Well you know what happened in about 10 seconds. When he finished jumping around and slapping fire ants off his foot and leg he demanded to know why I had not warned him. My response was "my old mama always told me, never interrupt anyone while they were talking".

Fire Ants i know of, I am not your typical Yankee, been in the South far too long, more than half my life, and I keep my words to a minimum.

[bayern]

Watch ya espect from someone in Minasoda.

[MacLean]

Learned about fire ants in Texas. I'll stay up here and just visit y'all now and then.

[lewisipso]

the FAR NORTH

Shreveport?

[mfranklin01]

how bad is it when i didn't actually need the definition to any of those words. i never knew there was a problem talking like that

[bufford408]

Shreveport?

Hey lew, how long you been ol' ver in shree port boy

[BEK]

Watch ya espect from someone in Minasoda.

that dont matter, my dads from NC and moved back a few years ago, i go down there every year and one funny story that I can member as a kid is once I was on a train with my family, my cousin from VA and I went to get a soda from the beverage cart and I asked for a Mt dew and got it, he asks for a coke, and gets a coke. he said no I want a coke, and the lady said I just gave you a coke. no the clear kind he said....He got so frustrated I guess they call everything coke down there and he wanted a sprite. The other funny thing to hear a southerner say is this....Get someone from the south and tell them to say thank you in spanish... you will laugh your ass off when they say grassy ass

[lewisipso]

Hey lew, how long you been ol' ver in shree port boy

Oh no. I'm not from yankee land. Much farther South. The last time my area got precipation similar to the white stuff I believe Nixon was pres.

[JLK]

ya'll yankees just jealous because God speaks with a southern drawl.

[keith720]

I can't help it if I'm proud to be a Yankee! Call it "The War of Northern Aggression," the "Civil War," or whatever, WE STILL WON!!!!!!!!!!

[Resident Smart Ass]

I think I just became stupid

[bayern]

I can't help it if I'm proud to be a Yankee! Call it "The War of Northern Aggression," the "Civil War," or whatever, WE STILL WON!!!!!!!!!!

Yeah, you won. We got low cost of living, low taxs, cheap (relative) gas, The Right to Bear Arms (Translate: we got guns), low ratio of yanks to us, little or no snow, etc. What did the winners get: Hillary, John Kerry, Mayor Bloomberg, Ted (we'll cross that bridge) Kennedy, etc. Yeah, ya won, but was it worth it???