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Thread: Whiskey Dreams!
10-22-07, 09:20 PM #1
Whiskey Dreams!Dave came home from the pub late one Friday evening stinking drunk, as he often did, and crept into bed beside his wife who was already asleep. He gave her a peck on the cheek and fell asleep.
When he awoke he found a strange man standing at the end of his bedwearing a long flowing white Robe.
"Who the hell are you?" demanded Dave, "and what are you doingin my bedroom?"
The mysterious man answered "This isn't your bedroom and I'm StPeter."
Dave was stunned "You mean I'm dead!?!! That can't be, I have so muchto live for, I haven't said goodbye to my family. . . you've got tosend me back straight away."St Peter replied "Yes, you can be reincarnated but there is a catch.We can only send you back as a dog or a hen."
Dave was devastated, but knowing there was a farm not far fromhis house, he asked to be sent back as a hen. A flash of light later hewascovered in feathers and clucking around pecking the ground.
"This ain't so bad" he thought until he felt this strange feelingwelling up inside him.
The farmyard rooster strolled over and said "So you're the newhen, how are you enjoying your first day here?"
"It's not so bad" replies Dave, "but I have this strange feelinginside like I'm about to explode."
"You're ovulating" explained the rooster, "don't tell me you've neverlaid an egg before?"
"Never!" replies Dave.
"Well just relax and let it happen"
So he did and after a few uncomfortable seconds later, an egg pops outfrom under his tail. An immense feeling of relief swept over him and hisemotions got the better of him as he experienced motherhood for thefirst time. When he laid his second egg, the feeling of happiness was overwhelming and he knew that being reincarnated as a hen was the bestthing that ever happened to him . . . Ever!!!
The joy kept coming and as he was just about to lay his third egg hefelt an enormous smack on the back of his head and heard his wifeshouting...
"Dave, wake up you drunken bastard, you've shit the bed.
YEAH, IM THE BERRIES, AND CHERRIES IN YOUR REAR VIEW MIRROR.
Handle every stressful situation like a dog.
Eat it, Play with it, or piss on it, and walk away!
As smart as man is, we haven't been able to invent a machine that can smell drugs or tell us where a person has walked,” Dogs are sophisticated investigative tools!
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