The real meaning of PMS

**chris2001** · 11-13-07, 08:08 AM

The Hormone Guide

Women will understand this! Men should memorize it!

Every woman knows that there are days in the month when all a man has to do is open his mouth and he takes his life in his hands! This is a handy guide that should be as common as a driver's license in the wallet of every husband, boyfriend, co-worker or significant other!

DANGEROUS: SAFER: SAFEST: ULTRA SAFE:
What's for dinner? Can I help you with dinner? Where would you like to go for dinner? Here, have some wine.
Are you wearing that? Wow, you sure look good in brown! WOW! Look at you! Here, have some wine
What are you so worked up about? Could we be overreacting? Here's my paycheck. Here, have some wine.
Should you be eating that? You know, there are a lot of apples left. Can I get you a piece of chocolate with that? Here, have some wine.
What did you DO all day? I hope you didn't over-do it today. I've always loved you in that robe! Here, have some wine .

13 Things PMS Stands For:

1. Pass My Shotgun

2. Psychotic Mood Shift

3. Perpetual Munching Spree

4. Puffy Mid-Section

5. People Make me Sick

6. Provide Me with Sweets

7. Pardon My Sobbing

8. Pimples May Surface

9. Pass My Sweat pants

10. Pissy Mood Syndrome

11. Plainly; Men Suck

12. Pack My Stuff

and my favoriteone.

13. Potential Murder Suspect

Forward this information to all of your hormonal friends and those who might need a good laugh...

and men who need a warning.

And remember: Money talks but Chocolate SINGS !!!

**Car 4** · 11-13-07, 08:25 AM

If I showed that to my wife, I'd be a dead man.

Car 4

**keith720** · 11-13-07, 10:52 AM

OK, I'm sure I'll tajke a few hits on this:

Why do women get PMS?

Because they deserve it.

Why do they call it PMS?

Because "Mad Cow Disease" was already taken.

**rob84** · 11-13-07, 11:30 AM

Originally Posted by keith720

OK, I'm sure I'll tajke a few hits on this:

Why do women get PMS?

Because they deserve it.

Why do they call it PMS?

Because "Mad Cow Disease" was already taken.

Rep sent!!!

**armsmaster270** · 11-13-07, 12:21 PM

Originally Posted by keith720

OK, I'm sure I'll tajke a few hits on this:

Why do women get PMS?

Because they deserve it.

Why do they call it PMS?

Because "Mad Cow Disease" was already taken.

DEAD MAN WALKING!

**Ducky** · 11-13-07, 01:34 PM

I'm a bitch normally, when PMSing I'm SuperBitch, cape and everything.

**mack** · 11-13-07, 01:53 PM

My husband used to call me Sybil. He never knew which personality I would be next, lol. BTW, he is no longer around to enjoy these personalities, lol

**lynnz05** · 11-13-07, 02:02 PM

Originally Posted by Ducky

I'm a bitch normally, when PMSing I'm SuperBitch, cape and everything.

I'm the exact same

**Buttercup** · 11-13-07, 02:17 PM

Q. How many women with PMS does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A. One. ONE!! And do you know WHY it only takes ONE? Because no one else in this house knows HOW to change a light bulb. They don't even know the bulb is BURNED OUT. They would sit in this house in the dark for THREE DAYS before they figured it OUT. And once they figured it out they wouldn't be able to find the light bulbs despite the fact that they've been in the SAME CUPBOARD for the past SEVENTEEN YEARS. But if they did, by some miracle, find the light bulbs, TWO DAYS LATER the chair that they dragged from two rooms over to stand on to change the STUPID light bulb would STILL BE IN THE SAME SPOT!!!!!!! AND UNDERNEATH IT WOULD BE THE CRUMPLED WRAPPER THE STUPID LIGHT BULBS CAME IN. WHY??? BECAUSE NO ONE IN THIS HOUSE EVER CARRIES OUT THE GARBAGE!!!! IT'S A WONDER WE HAVEN'T ALL SUFFOCATED FROM THE PILES OF GARBAGE THAT ARE 12 FEET DEEP THROUGHOUT THE ENTIRE HOUSE. THE HOUSE!! THE HOUSE!!! IT WOULD TAKE AN ARMY TO CLEAN THIS........