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  1. #1
    chris2001's Avatar
    chris2001 is offline Captain
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    The real meaning of PMS

    The Hormone Guide
    Women will understand this! Men should memorize it!
    Every woman knows that there are days in the month when all a man has to do is open his mouth and he takes his life in his hands! This is a handy guide that should be as common as a driver's license in the wallet of every husband, boyfriend, co-worker or significant other!

    DANGEROUS: SAFER: SAFEST: ULTRA SAFE:
    What's for dinner? Can I help you with dinner? Where would you like to go for dinner? Here, have some wine.
    Are you wearing that? Wow, you sure look good in brown! WOW! Look at you! Here, have some wine
    What are you so worked up about? Could we be overreacting? Here's my paycheck. Here, have some wine.
    Should you be eating that? You know, there are a lot of apples left. Can I get you a piece of chocolate with that? Here, have some wine.
    What did you DO all day? I hope you didn't over-do it today. I've always loved you in that robe! Here, have some wine .



    13 Things PMS Stands For:

    1. Pass My Shotgun

    2. Psychotic Mood Shift

    3. Perpetual Munching Spree

    4. Puffy Mid-Section

    5. People Make me Sick

    6. Provide Me with Sweets

    7. Pardon My Sobbing

    8. Pimples May Surface

    9. Pass My Sweat pants

    10. Pissy Mood Syndrome

    11. Plainly; Men Suck

    12. Pack My Stuff

    and my favoriteone.

    13. Potential Murder Suspect

    Forward this information to all of your hormonal friends and those who might need a good laugh...

    and men who need a warning.


    And remember: Money talks but Chocolate SINGS !!!
    Being the best is not what always counts. What counts is always trying your best.

    Remember who you are, and where you came from. That way you never get a big head.


    May those that lost their lives in 9-11 RIP, for the things you did not many could do. You left so many behind so that you could save so few. For now we stand strong as one, and will not look back till the fight is done. (me)

    http://www.danasoft.com/sig/Nowwhat%...5Csuphomey.jpg

    The opinions given in my posts DO NOT reflect the opinions, views, policies, and/or procedures of my employing agency. They are MY PERSONAL OPINIONS only.

  2. #2
    Car 4's Avatar
    Car 4 is offline CID Chief
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    If I showed that to my wife, I'd be a dead man.


    Car 4
    I would like my country back. I used to believe that one man could never destroy this country. Not so sure anymore!

  3. #3
    keith720's Avatar
    keith720 is offline Finely Aged
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    OK, I'm sure I'll tajke a few hits on this:

    Why do women get PMS?

    Because they deserve it.


    Why do they call it PMS?

    Because "Mad Cow Disease" was already taken.
    For the morning will come. Brightly will it shine on the brave and true, kindly upon all who suffer for the cause, glorious upon the tombs of heroes. Thus will shine the dawn.

    Winston Churchill

  4. #4
    rob84's Avatar
    rob84 is offline Did you press the power button?
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    Quote Originally Posted by keith720 View Post
    OK, I'm sure I'll tajke a few hits on this:

    Why do women get PMS?

    Because they deserve it.


    Why do they call it PMS?

    Because "Mad Cow Disease" was already taken.


    Rep sent!!!

    www.twitter.com/RobKimble1984
    www.facebook.com/robkimble

  5. #5
    armsmaster270's Avatar
    armsmaster270 is offline Ret. Sac. P.D. - 270th M.P. Co., Now with D.H.S.
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    Quote Originally Posted by keith720 View Post
    OK, I'm sure I'll tajke a few hits on this:

    Why do women get PMS?

    Because they deserve it.


    Why do they call it PMS?

    Because "Mad Cow Disease" was already taken.
    DEAD MAN WALKING!


    Pretty women make us BUY beer. Ugly women make us DRINK beer. --Al Bundy

    http://www.armsmaster.net-a.googlepages.com

  6. #6
    Ducky's Avatar
    Ducky is offline Enforcer General
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    I'm a bitch normally, when PMSing I'm SuperBitch, cape and everything.
    \\
    ` ` ` ` < ` )___/\
    `` ` ` ` (3--(____)
    "...but to forget your duck, of course, means you're really screwed." - Gary Larson
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MtN1YnoL46Q


  7. #7
    mack's Avatar
    mack is offline Officer Resource Offical Auctioneer
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    My husband used to call me Sybil. He never knew which personality I would be next, lol. BTW, he is no longer around to enjoy these personalities, lol

    My dad, I miss him every day.

    Originally Posted by Wolven
    Life is too short to wear unsexy underwear.


    I am a female!!!!! LMAO

    Be who you are and say what you feel.....
    Because those that matter...don't mind...
    And those that mind...don't matter

  8. #8
    lynnz05's Avatar
    lynnz05 is offline Corporal
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ducky View Post
    I'm a bitch normally, when PMSing I'm SuperBitch, cape and everything.

    I'm the exact same
    What I say is my opinion, not my employers or that of my academic institution.

  9. #9
    Buttercup's Avatar
    Buttercup is offline Thrives in sunshine
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    Q. How many women with PMS does it take to screw in a light bulb?

    A. One. ONE!! And do you know WHY it only takes ONE? Because no one else in this house knows HOW to change a light bulb. They don't even know the bulb is BURNED OUT. They would sit in this house in the dark for THREE DAYS before they figured it OUT. And once they figured it out they wouldn't be able to find the light bulbs despite the fact that they've been in the SAME CUPBOARD for the past SEVENTEEN YEARS. But if they did, by some miracle, find the light bulbs, TWO DAYS LATER the chair that they dragged from two rooms over to stand on to change the STUPID light bulb would STILL BE IN THE SAME SPOT!!!!!!! AND UNDERNEATH IT WOULD BE THE CRUMPLED WRAPPER THE STUPID LIGHT BULBS CAME IN. WHY??? BECAUSE NO ONE IN THIS HOUSE EVER CARRIES OUT THE GARBAGE!!!! IT'S A WONDER WE HAVEN'T ALL SUFFOCATED FROM THE PILES OF GARBAGE THAT ARE 12 FEET DEEP THROUGHOUT THE ENTIRE HOUSE. THE HOUSE!! THE HOUSE!!! IT WOULD TAKE AN ARMY TO CLEAN THIS........




  10. #10
    lynnz05's Avatar
    lynnz05 is offline Corporal
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    LoL! Rep sent buttercup!
    What I say is my opinion, not my employers or that of my academic institution.

 

 

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