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Thread: Lawyer Jokes

  1. #1
    Cidp24's Avatar
    Cidp24 is offline Tempus Fugit
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    Lawyer Jokes

    Some of them are my best friends, mostly procecutors (imagine that ) but they are always worth some good natured ribbing.

    What are some of your best lawyer jokes?

    What happens when you give a lawyer viagra?
    He stands up straight and gets taller.
    *************************
    "It wouldn't take much for me to up and run...
    to another life somewhere in the sun."
    *************************
    "There's something inherently wrong with having to put on a bullet-proof vest and a gun to go to work."-(An old friend)


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  2. #2
    JLK's Avatar
    JLK
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    what do you call a bus load of lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?

    a good start.


    what do you call a bus load of lawyers at the bottom of the ocean with an empty set?


    wasted space.


    "A strong man stands up for himself. A stronger man stands up for others."
    Ben

    The old sheriff was attending an awards dinner when a lady commented
    on his wearing his sidearm. "Sheriff, I see you have your pistol. Are you
    expecting trouble?" "No Ma'am. If I were expecting trouble, I would have
    brought my rifle."
    (just stole this one hope you don't mind)



  3. #3
    iso607's Avatar
    iso607 is offline Sergeant
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    Q: If you are stranded on a desert island with Adolph Hitler, Atilla the Hun, and a lawyer, and you have a gun with only two bullets, what do you do?
    A: Shoot the lawyer twice.

    Q: What's the difference between a dead dog in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?
    A: There are skid marks in front of the dog.

    Q: Why won't sharks attack lawyers?
    A: Professional courtesy.

 

 

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