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Thread: Lawyer Jokes

  1. #1
    Cidp24's Avatar
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    Lawyer Jokes

    Some of them are my best friends, mostly procecutors (imagine that ) but they are always worth some good natured ribbing.

    What are some of your best lawyer jokes?

    What happens when you give a lawyer viagra?
    He stands up straight and gets taller.
    *************************
    "It wouldn't take much for me to up and run...
    to another life somewhere in the sun."
    *************************
    "There's something inherently wrong with having to put on a bullet-proof vest and a gun to go to work."-(An old friend)


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  2. #2
    JLK's Avatar
    JLK
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    what do you call a bus load of lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?

    a good start.


    what do you call a bus load of lawyers at the bottom of the ocean with an empty set?


    wasted space.


    "A strong man stands up for himself. A stronger man stands up for others."
    Ben

    The old sheriff was attending an awards dinner when a lady commented
    on his wearing his sidearm. "Sheriff, I see you have your pistol. Are you
    expecting trouble?" "No Ma'am. If I were expecting trouble, I would have
    brought my rifle."
    (just stole this one hope you don't mind)


    The trouble with our liberal friends is not that they are ignorant,
    it is just that they know so much that isn't so.
    President Ronald Reagan



  3. #3
    iso607's Avatar
    iso607 is offline Sergeant
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    Q: If you are stranded on a desert island with Adolph Hitler, Atilla the Hun, and a lawyer, and you have a gun with only two bullets, what do you do?
    A: Shoot the lawyer twice.

    Q: What's the difference between a dead dog in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?
    A: There are skid marks in front of the dog.

    Q: Why won't sharks attack lawyers?
    A: Professional courtesy.

 

 

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