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  1. #1
    Illiy is offline Corporal
    Join Date
    05-27-07
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    Funny cop stereotypes

    Funny cop stereotypes


    Narcotics units

    Immediately grow facial hair, tell everybody you were ordered to.
    Start watching every episode of Monster Garage.
    Buy a biker wallet with a big chain.
    Make every case involve overtime $$$.
    Buy bunches of boats, RV's, and motorcycles with that overtime.
    Learn to play golf drunk.


    SWAT units

    Wear team T-shirts, Oakley sunglasses and boots everyday.
    Try to fit the word breach in to every conversation.
    Have a mirror handy to check hair, if you have hair.
    Never say hello to anyone who is not an operator, just practice your SWAT
    head nod.
    Subscribe to Soldier of Fortune and Muscle and Fitness.
    Learn to play golf wearing a gun.


    Community Service units

    Hate SWAT.
    Work to make everybody love you.
    Paint your office in pastel colors.
    Think Feng Shui.
    Subscribe to Psychology Today.
    Learn to play miniature golf.

    School Resource Officers

    Starbucks before work, show up on campus at 0800 hrs
    Knows every coffe pot location on campus
    Sits behind his desk pretending to work, but really surfing the net
    Really hates kids but loves the hours
    Only talks to the really hot teachers
    Only works at night when there is a football game
    Drives a golf cart all day on campus


    Traffic units

    Write tickets to EVERYBODY.
    Spend every weekend cleaning your bike and polishing boots.
    Annoy everyone on the radio calling out your stops.
    Talk about nothing but how many tickets you wrote in one day.
    Ride by a building with big windows to see your reflection.
    Golf is lame, motor rodeos are cool.


    Administrative Units

    Three-hour lunches everyday, tell everybody it's a "meeting".
    Upgrade department cell phone every month.
    Tell everybody you are published in a national law enforcement magazine.
    Update your revenge list on a weekly basis.
    Golf Rules! Play lots of golf.


    Patrol Units

    Has nerves of steel.
    In a terminal state of nausea from department politics.
    Inability to keep mouth shut.
    Has defining tastes in alcohol.
    Is respected by peers.
    Beats the crap out of his caddy on any bogeyed shot


    Investigators

    Come in at 0800
    "Breakfast" from 0815 to 1030>
    Work from 1030 to Noon to 1400 Work out and Lunch
    1400-1700 Sit in CID and talk about how many girlfriends you have and how
    the wife doesn't know. Plan your next RV, fishing, motorcycle trip.


    Patrol Sergeant

    Remembers very well "how we used to do it."
    Always willing to tell his officers the above.
    Tries to fit the word "liability" in to every sentence.
    Talks about "what he's hearing from upstairs."


    Trainee

    Unable to grow facial hair.
    Watches every episode of Cops.
    Worships the ground the SWAT guys walk on.
    Arrives for work three hours early.
    Thinks the sergeant is thrilled to see him.
    Won't drink on the golf course because it violates the open container
    ordinance.

  2. #2
    Star Man's Avatar
    Star Man is offline Guns only have two enemies; rust and politicians
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    USA
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    These are great! Copied and sent to my fellow Deputies!!!! LOL
    ...........................................

  3. #3
    Resident Smart Ass's Avatar
    Resident Smart Ass is offline I ASK THE QUESTIONS AROUND HERE
    Verified LEO
    Join Date
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    Location
    Once a New Yawker, Always a New Yawker
    Posts
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    Rep Power
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    Quote Originally Posted by Illiy View Post
    Funny cop stereotypes


    Narcotics units

    Immediately grow facial hair, tell everybody you were ordered to.
    Start watching every episode of Monster Garage.
    Buy a biker wallet with a big chain.
    Make every case involve overtime $$$.
    Buy bunches of boats, RV's, and motorcycles with that overtime.
    Learn to play golf drunk.


    SWAT units

    Wear team T-shirts, Oakley sunglasses and boots everyday.
    Try to fit the word breach in to every conversation.
    Have a mirror handy to check hair, if you have hair.
    Never say hello to anyone who is not an operator, just practice your SWAT
    head nod.
    Subscribe to Soldier of Fortune and Muscle and Fitness.
    Learn to play golf wearing a gun.


    Community Service units

    Hate SWAT.
    Work to make everybody love you.
    Paint your office in pastel colors.
    Think Feng Shui.
    Subscribe to Psychology Today.
    Learn to play miniature golf.

    School Resource Officers

    Starbucks before work, show up on campus at 0800 hrs
    Knows every coffe pot location on campus
    Sits behind his desk pretending to work, but really surfing the net
    Really hates kids but loves the hours
    Only talks to the really hot teachers
    Only works at night when there is a football game
    Drives a golf cart all day on campus


    Traffic units

    Write tickets to EVERYBODY.
    Spend every weekend cleaning your bike and polishing boots.
    Annoy everyone on the radio calling out your stops.
    Talk about nothing but how many tickets you wrote in one day.
    Ride by a building with big windows to see your reflection.
    Golf is lame, motor rodeos are cool.


    Administrative Units

    Three-hour lunches everyday, tell everybody it's a "meeting".
    Upgrade department cell phone every month.
    Tell everybody you are published in a national law enforcement magazine.
    Update your revenge list on a weekly basis.
    Golf Rules! Play lots of golf.


    Patrol Units

    Has nerves of steel.
    In a terminal state of nausea from department politics.
    Inability to keep mouth shut.
    Has defining tastes in alcohol.
    Is respected by peers.
    Beats the crap out of his caddy on any bogeyed shot


    Investigators

    Come in at 0800
    "Breakfast" from 0815 to 1030>
    Work from 1030 to Noon to 1400 Work out and Lunch
    1400-1700 Sit in CID and talk about how many girlfriends you have and how
    the wife doesn't know. Plan your next RV, fishing, motorcycle trip.


    Patrol Sergeant

    Remembers very well "how we used to do it."
    Always willing to tell his officers the above.
    Tries to fit the word "liability" in to every sentence.
    Talks about "what he's hearing from upstairs."


    Trainee

    Unable to grow facial hair.
    Watches every episode of Cops.
    Worships the ground the SWAT guys walk on.
    Arrives for work three hours early.
    Thinks the sergeant is thrilled to see him.
    Won't drink on the golf course because it violates the open container
    ordinance.
    an oldie
    Don't you just hate it when someone's balls are hidden so well, they can't seem to find it themselves ~ RSA

    You can't avoid gossip & rude words from
    people. You can't please everybody. But remember, they wouldn't bother if you meant nothing.


    FOLLOW RSA ON TWITTER (IF YOU'RE GOING TO FOLLOW ME, PLEASE SEND ME A MESSAGE ON HERE WITH YOUR O/R USERNAME AND TWEET USERNAME SO I'LL KNOW WHO I'M ACCEPTING OTHERWISE YOU WILL NOT BE ACCEPTED!)
    https://twitter.com/RESIDENTSMARTAS



    A PINT OF SWEAT SAVES A GALLON OF BLOOD ~ PATTON



  4. #4
    Illiy is offline Corporal
    Join Date
    05-27-07
    Posts
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    Quote Originally Posted by Resident Smart Ass View Post
    an oldie
    Didn't know...

  5. #5
    10-42Adam's Avatar
    10-42Adam is offline Major
    Supporting Member Lvl 3
    Verified LEO
    Join Date
    09-24-06
    Location
    Delaware
    Posts
    5,928
    Rep Power
    200398
    Old or not, it's always funny.
    Calm Like A Bomb...

    A pessimist sees difficulty in every opportunity. An optimist sees opportunity in every difficulty.
    -Winston Churchill

 

 

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