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Thread: Priceless

  1. #1
    jrae Guest

    Priceless

    PRICELESS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!LMAO
    Jack wakes up with a huge hangover after the night at a business function.

    He forces himself to open his eyes and the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirins next to a glass of water on the side table.



    And, next to them, a single red rose!

    Jack sits down and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean and pressed.

    Jack looks around the room and sees that it is in perfect order, spotlessly clean. So is the rest of the house.

    He takes the aspirins, cringes when he sees a huge black eye staring back at him in the bathroom mirror and notices a note on the table:

    'Honey, breakfast is on the stove, I left early to go shopping Love you!!'

    He stumbles to the kitchen and sure enough, there is hot breakfast and the morning newspaper.

    His son is also at the table, eating. Jack asks, 'Son...what happened last night?'

    'Well, you came home after 3 am , drunk and out of your mind. You broke the coffee table, puked in the hallway and got that black eye when you ran into the door.'

    'So, why is everything in such perfect order, so clean, I have a rose and breakfast is on the table waiting for me?'

    His son replies, 'Oh, THAT!...Mom dragged you to the bedroom and when she tried to take your pants off, you screamed, 'Leave me alone, b*tch, I'm married!!!'.


    Broken table - $200
    Hot breakfast - $5
    Two aspirins - $0.25

    Saying the right thing, at the right time... Priceless

  2. #2
    Mac120's Avatar
    Mac120 is offline Semper Fi
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    I would probably say something very opposite of that, thats how my luck runs

  3. #3
    pc830cop's Avatar
    pc830cop is offline Just another squirrel looking for a NUT
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    is this a subliminal suggestion for term...


    Searching for Evil and the Perfect donut (Love that book)

    "It's not who you are underneath, but what you do that defines you"
    -Batman Begins

    There are gains for all our losses
    There are balms for all our pain
    But, when youth, the dream, departs
    It takes something from our hearts
    And it never comes again

    "Captain, it is I Ensign Pulver. I just threw your damn palm tree overboard. Now, what's all this crap about no movie tonight?" -Ens Pulver in Mister Roberts

    The man who will go where his colors go, without asking who will fight a phantom foe in the jungle and mountain range, without counting, and who will suffer and die in the midst of incredible hardship, without complaint, is still what he has always been, from Imperial Rome to sceptered Britain to democratic America. He is the stuff of which legions are made. ...His pride is in his colors and his regiment, his training hard and thorough and coldly realistic, to fit him for what he must face...and his obedience is to his orders. He has been called United State Marine.
    T.R. Fehrenbach, This Kind of War

 

 

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