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  1. #1
    213th's Avatar
    213th is offline Solipsist
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    Sex & Little Johnny

    little Johnny was 7 years old and like other boys his age rather curious..

    He had been hearing quite a bit about 'making out' from the older boys, and he wondered what it was and how it was done.

    One day he took his question to his mother, who became rather flustered. Instead of explaining things to Johnny, she told him to hide behind the curtains one night and watch his older sister and
    her boyfriend.

    This he did. The following morning, Johnny described EVERYTHING to his mother.
    "Sis and her boyfriend sat and talked for a while, then he turned off most of the lights. Then he started kissing and hugging her. I
    figured 'Sis must be getting sick, because her face started looking funny.

    He must have thought so too, because he put hishand inside her blouse to feel her heart, just the way the doctor would. Except he's not as smart as the doctor because he seemed to have
    trouble finding her heart. I guess he was getting sick too, because pretty soon both of them started panting and getting all out of breath. His other hand must have been cold because he
    put it under her skirt.

    About this time 'Sis got worse and began
    to moan and sigh and squirm around and slide down toward
    the end of the couch. This was when her fever started. I knew it was a fever, because Sis told him she felt really hot. Finally, I found out what was making them so sick......-a big eel ;had gotten inside his pants somehow. It just jumped out of his pants
    and stood there, about 10 inches long, honest, anyway
    he grabbed it in one hand to keep it from getting away.

    When Sis saw it, she got really scared-her eyes got big, and her mouth fell open, and she started calling out to God and stuff like that. She said it was the biggest one she's ever seen; I should tell her about the ones down at the lake by our house!

    Anyway, Sis got brave and tried to kill the eel by biting its head off.The eel spit on her face a little bit and then, All of a sudden she grabbed it with both hands and held it tight while he took a
    muzzle out of his pocket and slipped it over the eel's head to keep it from biting again. Sis lay back and spread her legs so she
    could get a scissor-lock on it and he helped by lying on top
    of the eel. The eel put up a hell of a fight. Sis started groaning and squealing and her boyfriend almost upset the couch. I guess
    they wanted to kill the eel by squashing it between them.

    After a while they both quit moving and gave a great sigh. Her boyfriend got up, and sure enough, they killed the eel. I knew because it just hung there, limp, and some of its insides were
    hanging out.

    Sis and her boyfriend were a little tired from the battle, but they went back to courting anyway. He started hugging and kissing her again. By golly, the eel wasn't dead! It jumped straight up
    and started to fight again. I guess eels are like cats- they have nine lives or something. This time, Sis jumped up and tried to kill it by sitting on it. After about a 35 minute struggle, they finally killed the eel. I knew it was dead, because I saw Sis's boyfriend peel its skin off and flush it down the toilet.
    He who has the money, signs the cheques.
    He who signs the cheques, makes the rules.
    He who makes the rules, has the power.
    He who has the power, has the money.

  2. #2
    armsmaster270's Avatar
    armsmaster270 is offline Ret. Sac. P.D. - 270th M.P. Co., Now with D.H.S.
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    OMG is that how you kill an eel.


    Pretty women make us BUY beer. Ugly women make us DRINK beer. --Al Bundy

    http://www.armsmaster.net-a.googlepages.com

  3. #3
    Big Al's Avatar
    Big Al is offline There is no place like home....
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    I will have to try to kill one later tonight!
    To be a good Law Enforcement Officer you MUST know the law!

  4. #4
    213th's Avatar
    213th is offline Solipsist
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    Quote Originally Posted by Big Al View Post
    I will have to try to kill one later tonight!
    You must be brave to try and kill one of those things on your own!
    He who has the money, signs the cheques.
    He who signs the cheques, makes the rules.
    He who makes the rules, has the power.
    He who has the power, has the money.

  5. #5
    Five-0's Avatar
    Five-0 is offline Super Moderator
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    Quote Originally Posted by 213th View Post
    You must be brave to try and kill one of those things on your own!
    He just has really strong arms.

    Meanwhile, fishing in Russia:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SkzV5AIK8iM
    "When plunder becomes a way of life for a group of men living together in society, they create for themselves in the course of time a legal system that authorizes it and a moral code that justifies it." -- Frederic Bastiat

    "Certainly there is no hunting like the hunting of man and those who have hunted armed men long enough and liked it, never really care for anything else thereafter." Ernest Hemingway

    The opinions given in my signatures & threads DO NOT reflect the opinions, views, policies, and/or procedures of my employing agency. They are my personal opinions only, thereby releasing my agency of any liability, or involvement in anything posted under the username "Five-0" on Officerresource.com

  6. #6
    Hannah87's Avatar
    Hannah87 is offline Giggidy... Giggidy..
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    lol... good one.
    May you rest in peace Daddy and may you never hurt again. I love you and miss you and can't wait to see you again.

    12/12/44- 2/26/09

 

 

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